I was talking to my friend Joann this weekend about the book “The Stranger Next Door,” which is about a group of Protestants trying to pass an anti-gay regulation in Oregon. Joann lives in Oregon, is a Methodist and she says she’s getting increasingly disenchanted with her church’s anti-gay, anti-abortion, pro-school prayer, etc., stances. She’s still a Christian, though, and wondered what to do.
I, in my best ‘50s housewife voice, picked up a box of Unit-All and said chirpily, “Why don’t you try Unitarianism? Nine out of ten agnostics recommend it!” She thought that was a great idea and is going to hunt up a local church. So you mustn’t think all of us atheists are champing at the bit to get people to Go Godless!
Thank you, Arden—I am still rather proud at the memories of “Faster, Sequential Thread Titles—Kill! Kill!” and “Oh, Lord, Won’t You Bite Me, Mercedes-Benz?”
Hello, I’m a Unitarian, but I don’t play one on TV.
I’d like to talk to you for a moment about Unitarianism - the “I can’t believe its a religion”-religion. You’re free to think what you want, espouse what you want, and debate 'til you’re blue in the face. Then, we’ll all have coffee and some danish.
Unitarianism - isn’t it time you tried it? Or not, whatever.
You know the one about the branch on the path to the Pearly Gates? The main path has a sign that says “To HEAVEN”, the side path says “To discussions about Heaven” - all the UU’s take that path…
If being a Unitarian isn’t satisfactory, have her try out the Quakers. They have a respectable history of social activism in the USA, and you can take a nap during the “silent worship” portion of the Quaker meeting, which nap is often welcome after a Saturday-night party.
Umm, I hate to be picky, but Unitarians are not Christians. As an atheist, you probably didn’t know this.
Note: I did not say that Unitarians are evil. They have a long history of social activism, supporting liberal causes and community involvement. Just not Christian.
Correction: not all Unitarians are Christians. There’s an active UU Christian group at the church that I’m (theoretically)[sup]1[/sup] affiliated with.
[sup]1[/sup]: Theoretically because getting there on Sunday morning sure is tough.
Ah, the debasement of modern language. There was a time that “UU Christian” would have been recognized as a contradiction in terms, “christian” meaning (whatever other doctrinal point it conveys) “believing in the divinity of Christ”, and “unitarian” meaning “believing in the unitarian philosophy, which denies that God can inhere in any person or thing, including Christ”. The Unitarians, of course, were founded in opposition to the Trinitarian doctrine of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, as a specific denial of the Incarnation.
In these enlightened times we have an Episcopal bishop who denies, not only the divinity of Christ, but the very existence of God (at least in any form I would recognize); he now writes a column in a sex magazine on the Internet. There are no contradictions any longer in any membership in any church (we can now have “Jews for Jesus” as well), and a UU Christian group should surprise no one.
When was that time? According to this page, Unitarianism had always been a Christian movement, dating from the beginnings of the faith. Remember, the doctrine of the Trinity was not established until the Nicene council in 325. The UUCF was established in 1944 (from this page), so there’s no recent contradiction.
IMHO, anyone who follows Christ as a teacher is justified in calling themselves “Christian”; the fact that most of these people believe in the divinity of Christ does not restrict the title to that group.
Ever feel left out? All your friends wear crosses and stars and ohms (oh my) for their beliefs and you stand there with an empty neck? Be alone no more! Now, inside specially marked boxes of Unit-All, look for your free 24-karat gold “Question Mark”.
[I have mine. At least I did until someone stole it at the gym.]
A man buys a new Ferrari, and decides that he wants it blessed. He goes to a Chatolic priest and says, “Father, will you bless my new Ferrari?”
“Of course, my son, I will bless anything you want! But what is a Ferrari?”
The man decides that this isn’t going to work so he thanks the father and goes to the synagogue down the road. He asks, “Rabbi, will you bless my new Ferrari?”
The Rabbi responds, “Yes yes, of course I will, but what is a Ferrari?”
The man now is getting a little peeved, and so he leaves. He is driving down the road, and see a small Unitarian Universalist church, and decides to see if he can get his car blessed there. He goes up to the minister and asks the same questions. The minister responds, “Sweet, you have a Ferrari? Can you take me for a spin?” The man, excited that he finally has a taker agrees, and they drive around for a while. After they get back to the church the minister turns to the man and says, “Now, what’s a blessing?”
Back when I was an entertainer, I used to do a lot of performances for various religious groups. Churches of the various brands of Christian, synagogues, and did quite a few shows for the Orthadox Jewish community.
Without question, hands down - the Unitarians were always the most fun and most pleasant to deal with. I’m a pretty solid agnostic, and not interested in religion at all, and they are the only folks that tempted me in the least.
