How many people read these things? I do, and I’m not sure why. Part voyeur? The writer part of me that wonders about the stories behind the ads? Reassurance that there are other people that regret not going up and talking to someone? Part ego, probably, wondering if I will ever be in one. Which, is funny, because I am pretty sure I am the subject of one. I went to see a concert at a bar (maybe 200 people were there), and I’m pretty sure the ad is directed at me. I’m reluctant to respond, because it seems kind of weird. I can’t really describe why, it just does.
I’m partly asking if I should respond (what do you say?), and partly asking just to hear if anyone has any experience with these. Horror stories? Anything positive come from them? Do they ever get results? It seems like the ads are disproportionately men looking for men, usually trying to pick up a UPS driver. Maybe that’s just where I am. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, just a funny observation. (A woman posted the one I think is about me. Though I’d probably be flattered either way.)
I did one 20 years ago or so. I talked with a girl at a nightclub for a while, and we split a drumstick that White Lion’s drummer threw into the crowd (we both caught it). I didn’t get her number though, and was kicking myself for it later. So, I put an ad in the East Coast Rocker (anyone with even a passing interest in the NJ/NY club scene read it religiously, so I figured there would be a good chance she’d see it).
The following weekend, we happened to run into each other at the beach, 80 miles away from our first meeting. She had seen the ad, and had written back, but it turned out not to be necessary. Go figure.
As for the aftermath, hell, I don’t know. We’re talking about a time in my life that is a major party haze. But, I don’t remember anything specific about her anymore, so obviously nothing really came of it.
As for your situation, what the hell – respond. Nothing to lose, right?
I like to read them because I like to imagine how compelling the first meeting of the people was that they’d write an ad to try to reconnect. I think it’s romantic, in a weird way.
I read them too. I don’t really understand why you woudn’t respond! Take the necessary precautions but take a chance, too! Life is never going to go anywhere if you don’t take some chances.
The magazine/newspaper ads they model themselves after tended to be more, ‘We were having a great conversation at a concert last Friday but then I had to go to the bathroom and couldn’t find you when I got back’ or ‘We met on a flight to LA and you gave me your number, but I lost it!’
The CL versions are closer to, ‘We passed each other on the street and you briefly looked back’ and ‘I was watching you sunbathe in the park with some guy, maybe your boyfriend. You were in a bathing suit. I have brown hair and was wearing jeans. Did we have a connection?’
Weird, vague follow-ups on nothing moments. I do read them quite a bit, not for myself (I never make eye contact with strangers) but to spot people I know. Or track a few multiple offenders who are obviously trying to make a ‘connection’ with every single person that fit their ‘type’ (e.g. there’s one guy who clearly posts every week about any Asian woman he sees in a certain area, and one who obviously sits in his gym locker room trying to make small talk so he can bring it up in his post).
I worked with someone who was so obviously the subject of one of the Missed Connections ads that eveyonr we worked with asked him what he was going to do. Maybe because of the scrutiny, he opted not to answer… or at least that’s what he said.
His explanation for not responding was that he suspected prankery because it was so obviously him to people we worked with. I suspected as much myself, that’s why I encouraged him to respond.
I always wonder how many people respond when they aren’t really the subject; possibly knowing full well that they aren’t.
I absolutely love these, assuming we’re talking about Craigslist (I didn’t know that they printed them in classifieds too?). It is my absolute DREAM to have one about me, even though I have a bf. I have posted a couple before, and one of them got a lot of responses (none from the correct person), but one person had the nerve to name another person I work with and say “Are you _______? He is SO hot!” or something like that.
Hal Briston, thanks for the personal account. I am starting to think it’s worth a try. One of the reasons I hesitate is that there is another girl I’m trying to date right now. It isn’t serious, and we’ve only been out a couple of times, but still. Any other time I would have been more interested in the missed connection. Darn timing.
Kalhoun, that’s part of the reason I read them, but I couldn’t articulate it. Though, as Cat Fight mentioned, there wasn’t much of a connection with this. The ad amounts to, “I saw you there, you were by me, thought you were cute, wanted to talk to you, but it was loud and I was on a date.” and to email her. We never talked, and I don’t remember anyone glancing my way. So it’s vague, and could be from any number of women. Even if she described herself, I don’t think I could pick her out of a lineup. I don’t think it’s any sort of prank (partly because the friends that know I went and/or went with me rarely go online), but still wonder what’s up with it, due to the lack of details.
Though I am getting curious, and based off the advice from everyone like Anaamika, and knowing that people like chaoticbear want to be the subject of one, I’m thinking I might give it a shot, but who knows.
Yeah, there are some of the former example on CL, but it’s mostly the latter, and even those get drowned out in spam and idle musings about crush-worthy neighbors and coworkers.
Dignan, I’ve had a few of them, and responded to a couple. The ones I did respond to were from people that fit the first category, and I’m glad I did. None of them turned out to be the love of my life or anything, but they’re good guys, and we became friends. I say respond if you’re curious.
If you’re curious, why not respond? You’ll get some more information and can decide then whether she’s someone you actually want to communicate with or if it’s just an episode in the movie of your life.
I LOVE Missed Connections. One of the highlights for me of my last year was finding one about someone I knew - the poster had noted a distinctive item of apparel from the professional school I attend that was given only to members of my class at our orientation. Also, it was Thanksgiving weekend and most people were out of town, so it was pretty easy to figure out who the MC was intended for.
She was really embarrassed. They went out on a couple of dates, but it didn’t work out. Still, a highlight of my year.
OK, well, I responded. It was a week after it was originally posted. Who knows if she will remember, or have changed her mind (or respond at all). I’ll post again if anything comes of it.
I like reading the CL personals, mostly for the lulz. There are some really funny ones on there sometimes. I don’t read them often because I forget about them, but when I do I enjoy it.
A friend of mine called me last year and told me there was a missed connection about me. My friends and I went dancing and this guy’s ad had the date and approximate time right and described the dress I had on and my shoes. It was flattering, but I didn’t respond. Still, impressive that a straight guy remembered my shoes!
