I’ve been coining some new words, as is my occasional wont, and so of course I must share, for the edification of my fellow Dopers!
mobfuscation: when you’re admiring, from a distance, an attractive member of the opposite sex and somebody stops and stands precisely in your line of sight
prehensible tale: a long story about a monkey that, with some judicious editing, might eventually make sense
pundament: where you put you boot on the body of a person who has just made a particularly grievous play on words
clockblocked: you’re just minutes away from having sex with the most amazingly hot woman you’ve ever met, and your alarm goes off
(This one came to me, unsurprisingly, first thing this morning as I was rolling over to shut off my damned alarm clock. It was for the best, I suppose, as she was probably crazy. When we were leaving the club she was inquiring about my driving skill as it relates to evading pursuit by the police.)
Fundementia- a degenerative psychological condition caused by excessive exposure to extreme right-wing Christianity. Symptoms include obsession with burning in Hell, delusions of grand piety, deliberately incendiary behavior and opinions, and attention-whoring. Often associated with anti-Semitism and homophobia. Notable sufferers include Jack Chick and Fred Phelps.
The Washington Post’s Style Invitational asked readers to take
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing
one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this year’s winners:
Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
of breaking down in the near future.
Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn’t get it.
6.Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7.Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a
serious bummer.
10 Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming
only things that are good for you.
Glibido(v): All talk and no action.
Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve
accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.):Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the
fruit you’re eating.
And the last but not least:
Ignoranus (n): A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
Grandcestor: Any relative which requires more than 3 Greats in front of their designation… ie: Great great great great Grandmother = Grandcestor
DUMBLE: The act of starting to mumble as one realises the stupidity of what is coming out of their mouth. ie: Why don`t we just ask the nice police man about these drugs we found…