Is a bear catholic?
Does the pope shit in the woods?
J.
A friend of a friend recently told her to count her lucky chickens. I thought that was a cute one.
I once changed metaphors in midstream and said that someone was so cheap that they’d steal the pennies off a blind man’s eyes.
Don’t count your chicken before they cross the road.
He’s not the smartest bulb in the shed.
I say “shit or get off the fence”, which came from this thread.
Let’s run this one up the flag pole and see who takes a shot at it.
Why do my keys disappear into some black hole of Calcutta …?
I almost missed that one; as I gardener, I have plenty of bulbs in my shed.
I also am a frequent user of “we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it”. I believe I first encountered that turn of phrase in one of the MythAdventures books by Robert Aspirin.
Another favorite is this mixed medley from Zapp Branigan on Futurama: “If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!”
Damn! I thought I made that one up mysefl. I guess I’m not as original as I thought.
That one is so good I had to read it a few times to figure out what was off about it.
I just remembered another one from my grandfather - it’s more of a mixed up metaphor:
You can lead a horse to drink, but you can’t make him water.
I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck yesterday.