Mixed Metaphors

Is a bear catholic?

Does the pope shit in the woods?


A friend of a friend recently told her to count her lucky chickens. I thought that was a cute one.

I once changed metaphors in midstream and said that someone was so cheap that they’d steal the pennies off a blind man’s eyes.

Don’t count your chicken before they cross the road.

He’s not the smartest bulb in the shed.

I say “shit or get off the fence”, which came from this thread.

Let’s run this one up the flag pole and see who takes a shot at it.

Why do my keys disappear into some black hole of Calcutta …?

I almost missed that one; as I gardener, I have plenty of bulbs in my shed.

I also am a frequent user of “we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it”. I believe I first encountered that turn of phrase in one of the MythAdventures books by Robert Aspirin.

Another favorite is this mixed medley from Zapp Branigan on Futurama: “If we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!”

Damn! I thought I made that one up mysefl. I guess I’m not as original as I thought.

That one is so good I had to read it a few times to figure out what was off about it.

I just remembered another one from my grandfather - it’s more of a mixed up metaphor:
You can lead a horse to drink, but you can’t make him water.

I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck yesterday.