Ah the English language and its colloquialisms. Now is the time for all good posters to come to the aid of their language. Time to mix your metaphor. A little saying here, a dash of language there, and spice it up with a hanging participle.
As subtle as a pin drop in church.
Use one stone to kill a bird in the hand better than one in the bush.
Frankly my dear, I damn the torpedos, full speed ahead!
oh, and this isn’t a mixed metaphor, but it made me laugh when I read it in a book: that priest couldn’t be more trouble if he had a lit candle sticking out of his arse while sitting on a keg of gun powder.
Smug well actually the difference is that a mixed metaphor is two different metaphors (sayings) mixed up together to get an almost nonsensical saying while a malapropisms is according to Webster “the usually unintentionally humorous misuse or distortion of a word or phrase; especially : the use of a word sounding somewhat like the one intended but ludicrously wrong in the context”.
You have to stop and smell the cart before the horse.