Mixed metaphors

Ah the English language and its colloquialisms. Now is the time for all good posters to come to the aid of their language. Time to mix your metaphor. A little saying here, a dash of language there, and spice it up with a hanging participle.

As subtle as a pin drop in church.

Use one stone to kill a bird in the hand better than one in the bush.

It is time to fight fire with that spark of love.

As sharp as a tacky knife.

Don’t look a horse of a different color in the mouth.

Don’t count all your chickens in one handbasket on your way to hell.

I have not yet begun to give up the ship!!
No, wait, that’s not right…

A rolling stone gathers ye rosebuds while ye may.

People in glass houses shouldn’t call the kettle black.

That’s spilt milk under the bridge.

When in Rome, don’t build in a day.

Its time to read the writing on the wall of the corner you have painted yourself into.

and I usually am… but… are these not called malapropisms?

From Archie Bunker: “That’s about as funny as a rubber crotch.”
:slight_smile:

ROFLSCOMN

Like shooting monkeys in a barrel.

A Rolling Stone gathers Kate Moss

Frankly my dear, I damn the torpedos, full speed ahead!

oh, and this isn’t a mixed metaphor, but it made me laugh when I read it in a book: that priest couldn’t be more trouble if he had a lit candle sticking out of his arse while sitting on a keg of gun powder.

From the movie Airplane

Smug well actually the difference is that a mixed metaphor is two different metaphors (sayings) mixed up together to get an almost nonsensical saying while a malapropisms is according to Webster “the usually unintentionally humorous misuse or distortion of a word or phrase; especially : the use of a word sounding somewhat like the one intended but ludicrously wrong in the context”.
You have to stop and smell the cart before the horse.

My favorite is: Now you’ve taken a bite out of my sacred cow.

Easy as falling off a piece of cake.

Now it’s time to cut some new water.

That clears it up for me, thanks deb.
Case closed. Ipso fatso. :slight_smile:

I like the Kate Moss one Enderw24.

As I say to Mrs. Spritle…

He who laughs last has the shoe on the other foot.

Heh. Here’s an old thread on this topic. Some of TennHippie’s are classic.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=12982

A stitch in time flies

A fool and his money are a girl’s best friend.

I think this one has to be my favorite… :smiley: