Do virgins get extra bonuses?
That is one of the more cryptic ones, as I recall. I can see where it would be annoying, but there are two things in its (partial) defense:
One is that the sheriff does mention three specific survivors and emphasizes the key one in the cutscene. “Henry’s got his Word of God, that Roget woman has her crystal ball, and Norma out on the Point’s got a 12-gauge. My money’s on Norma.” The scene cuts away to Norma fighting zombies, but not to the other two. It narrows the search down to three (two of whom are close by and easy to check) and tells you the approximate location of the correct one. This underlines (hopefully by design) the fact that cutscenes are not just window dressing. There are useful hints in them, so you should pay close attention to them. (I don’t believe the info in the cutscenes is ever completely essential, but it can often speed you on your way.)
The other is that it is a Main Story Mission–it fills that blue mission slot. These aren’t really intended to be plowed through the way you might do the other mission types. They don’t get paused and there’s only one mission chain that goes in that slot, so sometimes you want to let them sit on the back burner as you do other things. For example, there are a couple of side missions that lead you to Norma. If you go around doing stuff, the breadcrumbs should eventually lead you to her, and then you can progress the main story.
All that said, yes, sometimes the missions aren’t clear. That’s especially true of investigation missions, and investigation elements are sometimes incorporated into the main story missions. If it gets frustrating, though, Sanctuary (/chat join Sanctuary) is pretty good about providing hints without spoilers. You can also set up a file that automatically adds various custom chat channels for you; you can find info on that from a Sanctuary regular here.
Unrelated tip: If you got everything in that bundle, I recommend doing “A Piece of the Road” for Moose at the sheriff’s office as soon as you can survive it. It gives you a major sprint speed upgrade.
The number one “trollish” thing I’ve heard complaints about in DbD is camping hooks. I don’t know if it’s actually trolling, but it seems un-fun and counter to the spirit of the game. (The Trapper setting traps in front of hooks and outside windows, on the other hand, strikes me as fair and in character.)
It’s not that big a problem; camping on a hook is not really a viable strategy unless your only goal is to get your one sacrifice to get a “Win” screen at the end of the session (IMO the single sacrifice win condition for killers is BS; I’ve not found any serious players who consider that a legit “win” for the killer, and I would not consider that a “win” for myself playing the killer, but whatever).
If I know the killer is camping on a hook, I’m immediately declaring “easy mode,” taking the opportunity to link up with the other players to gang up on all the generators and open up all the doors really fast, then we go on a rescue mission, and if everyone else is healthy, rescuing one person and getting them to the door is fairly simple. Boldness is key; everyone runs in, someone takes a hit, and while the killer’s attack is in cooldown, someone unhooks the captured player, then everyone scatters in a different direction and works their way around to the doors. One or two people may get tagged, but he can’t chase us all! If someone gets caught, heal up and do it again.
I played TSW when it launched, but I’ve been away from it for well over a year. This thread makes me want to start up again.
I’ll toss out here that the typical trinity does get knocked off kilter sometimes. IIRC, the Slaughterhouse instance required 4 DPS and a special tank/heal build in which the tank built for aggro and self healing. (“Required” may be too strong, but I recall that being the strongly preferred build for nightmare runs.) I also loved running the "first three"nightmare dungeons with a leach healer, which is kind of a DPS healing hybrid. It made the bosses go much faster, which was really a boon on the last boss of Polaris. (I hate the blue phase.)
I really loved the classless system.
I won’t lie, I’ve only played intermittently for the last couple of years, often logging in only when some new event is active then logging out after a few days. This thread has inspired me to put in some solid play lately. I forgot how fun progression was. 
I think that’s why it’s considered borderline trolling–it’s not playing to win, and it’s not pitting hunting skill versus evasion skill, it’s just being a nuisance. I don’t play the game myself, so I can’t really say. I’ve just watched people play and gripe about it.
Yes, there are places where the mechanics make unusual builds more useful. I think your example may be the encounter where the “boss” is actually a containment unit that the players need to reactivate by powering up shield nodes. The usual strategy is for a healtank to run around like a maniac, keeping the adds busy while everyone else clusters around each node in turn. There are also encounters, mainly in the raids, that generally call for two tanks.
The good thing about the system is that you can swap out functionality like that on the fly. In fact, switching builds around is so common that there are actually achievements for completing the Nightmare dungeons without anyone on the team changing their build. (The Master Planner achievements, which unlock special outfits related to the dungeons.)
As for leeching–my “hey, this is tough to solo” build is a leech build. It’s designed for a solo war of attrition on things with big sacks of health, like dungeon bosses and some of the bigger rare mobs.
Hook camping in Dead by Daylight has an obvious counter: rush the generators and leave. Except people (especially groups of friends) can’t get over the idea that sometimes someone doesn’t make it out. Apparently all the slasher flicks they’ve ever seen end with all the teenagers high-fiving while the killer tosses his knife on the ground like an angry sheriff. In theory, the killer would eventually get sick of Petty Victories and learn to move around. In reality, the survivors usually buzz around the hook like wasps on an apple core and the killer takes several people out. Then everyone rages about hook camping jerks.
I played DbD for a while and it’s fun but it also has some of the most whiny player base I’ve seen in a game. Everyone has a self-serving idea of how the game “should” be played and then throws a fit when you don’t share it. You caught someone who jumped off a hook? You’re a jerk. You sabotaged a hook? You’re a jerk. You chased someone you chased earlier? You’re a jerk. You’re playing the Survive with Friends mode? You’re a jerk. Everything counts as griefing or trolling to half of those people.
This deserves reiteration. You can swap builds and equipment at (almost?) any time you’re not in combat. Once you’ve unlocked your chaos magic and hammer skills for tanking and your claw/blood skills for healing, you can move between those builds with nothing but better build management standing in your way. (Is there an official solution to build/gear management?)
Which brings me to the fact that I hate you all. I’ve reinstalled the game. I may have an answer to my own question by tomorrow. My main is StGermain.
Personally, I find the standard gear manager sufficient, but there are a lot of mods that offer alternatives. I use the Meeehr-UI Topbar mod, which puts a ton of useful stuff, including gear management, on the bar at the top of your UI. (You may need to unlock the UI placement and rearrange things to make it look the way you want.)
I do too, and Viper Deck Manager. Curse has a lot of good mods, though some are obsolete and you have to find an unofficial update (check the TSW forums, people will upload fixes).