Cecil Adams has never been “pitted” by a mod? Well, that tears it. My new mission in life is to become a moderator for the SDMB, for the sole purpose of being able to start a Pit thread about that little bitch. 
Hmm. Getting pitted by a mod. Haven’t done that yet.
I seem to annoy Ike on occasion. Maybe I should try to develop that. On the other side of the coin, maybe I should take the odds and go after Coldfire.
Paula Abdul?
full-body shudder
I didn’t think she was pretty in the 80s, and I think she’s a vampire now…
Okay, mods aren’t allowed to start threads in the Pit ripping on members. What about their involvement in threads started by us mere mortals? Can they tear me a new one if someone else is unhappy with my posting habits?
Well, not by a mod currently living. But I’ve said too much already…
If you don’t, I’ll give you a shiny new dollar.
Did I miss something? Is this an inside joke between Desmostylus and Exgineer, or did Desmostylus just call Exgineer a fucking idiot for what I thought was a good question. I know this is the pit and all, but… does this mean I get to call Exginner a Fucking idiot too? You know what, screw permission, YOUR ALL FUCKING IDIOTS!
That’s “You’re all.”
With an apostrophe.
Fucking idiot.
This is the weakest (i.e. tamest) Pit thread I’ve ever seen. Almost a lovefest!
I’ll give you two bucks if you go after Uke instead.
I was starting to be sorry that I posted to this thing in the first place. I’ve changed my mind.
Coldfire is a big smelly jerk.*
And yes, Aceospades, you do, in fact, get to call me a f*cking idiot. This is the Pit, it’s a pretty concise insult, and it has the further advantage of being fairly accurate. Besides, I didn’t take it seriously.
*I know that I’m repeating a tired theme, but I’m trying to get ahead of Scylla in the “getting pitted by Coldfire” race.
Don’t be fooled. This fellow doesn’t have two dollars to rub together. He’ll try to fob a couple of Rijksmarks or Gluten or whatever they have over there on you.
I believe they call them “dykegeld,” which translates to “toilet paper” in English.
I think they’ve switched to something called “European Dollars,” which are supposedly better in some way.
Perhaps they’re two-ply.
Shodan, you might want to replace Paula with someone that
A. Has a spine
B. Is pretty or likable in some way
C. Has a personality.
That is all. 
~J
Well this is an interesting turn of events.
You see how easy it is, people? You too can turn threats into hard dollars, using the Scylla extortion method!
Win free cash! Turn third parties against each other, while you line your pockets.
They say that most people compensate for their weaknesses, some few overcome them, but the truly great turn their weaknesses into strengths.
Send money now and I’ll tell you how to cash in on your most obnoxious personal traits, just like I did.
It worked for me. It will work for you!
The hell with that! My new mission in life is to get pitted by Cecil Adams! What would it take, I wonder? We know he doesn’t like cats, the death penalty, the war in Iraq, the 3 words ending in “gry”, or driving on the parkway and parking on the driveway. Maybe if I combined them all into one giant question . . .
and they weren’t even your most obnoxious personal traits.
Here’s another buck, Scylla.
"Dear Cecil,
I was driving on the parkway to get a new cat, composing my letter to you about the third word ending in -gry, when on the radio came news about the war in Iraq, and I was so excited that we’re escalating the war that I hit someone in my car and now I’m facing the death penalty. Where did I go wrong?"
Blimey! I’m not a blooming Pollyanna. D----d if I’ll stand for this. I’ll be blessed if I can’t chastise a poster as well as any other moderator. The next poster that crosses my path should watch out or I’ll tell him that he had better follow the rules and if he doesn’t like it then he can do the other thing.