Mom, Dad, (insert family member here) you suck

The BBQ Pit
1

This is not to make fun of, but maybe it is, those that are having family problems. It seems several of our members are having problems with their families at this time.

Look, you have family. This point will never escape your life. You either choose to accept their assholeness or you forever will be whining about your damn family.

You didn’t choose these people to be your family but they are your family just the same. This will be fact until they die or you die first. Accept it, deal with it, understand that is life.

Don’t like them and you live with them? I assume you are a teen then. Usually things get better when you are older and not living with them so deal until it you move out to college or on your own. If you are 18 or over 18 and still living with them, what the fuck are you thinking? Get a job, find a room mate (that you will probably bitch about) and move the fuck away from your parents. You were cut off from the umbilical cord a long fucking time ago, so why are you postponing the inevitable? I am sure your parents feel the same way. Get out and get a fucking life.

Hey, I found out, not too long ago, that my perception of my family was my downfall. It’s not them that is the problem (95% of the time) it’s how we perceive our friends and family that is the problem. A lemon can taste pretty good if you think it will, otherwise you will automatically recoil from that lemon taste.

I “hated” my parents for a long time even though I had been moved out of their home for 17 years…it dawned on me one day…it matters not what the hell they think about me or my life. I live my life, I deal with my life the best way I know how. Their opinion matters but not enough for me to get my panties in a wad like it used to.

Look, teen or not, parents are not meant to be your buddy. They are there, throughout your life, to be your parent. This is biological, this is meant to be. Shit, you may be vulnerable and in your 40s and need a mommy or daddy to turn to and hopefully one or the other will still be there. All you whining and moaning about them now will not serve you for shit later, especially if you lose one or both.

Oh and this comes from a woman who’d mother used to kick her ass, yes, I had an abusive mother and she died when I was 15 and she has no power over my life any more. It was a hard and long road but FUCK. I hate to see people whining over very minor offenses.

If I can get over it, anyone can. Trust me on this as I used to hold on to the pain, the anger and the pissy side just because it was comfortable.

If your parents suck, go with it. Some day you may wish you hadn’t been so defient, so angry, so fucking pissed off.

But I just go off my own experience. < shrug >

2

I hate my fucking typos. I don’t blame my parents though, this is pure stupidity and beer. :smiley:

3

Xan? Are you out there? Can you grasp this? There is wisdom in the OP which can help you greatly.

4

Heh… sooooo many times I get in a fight with a close friend or family member and one of my first thoughts is, “Oooh, I need to post about this in the Pit!” Then, after spending five minutes of thought on it, I reach this conclusion: “Better not air out my dirty laundry on a message board.” So I usually decided to just get drunk instead.

5

I have to put a little disclaimer here:

If your parents abuse you in ways that most life doesn’t deserve, then you can bitch all you want. If your father sexually abused you, then you have every damn right to bitch. There are limits here not limited to my small sampling though.

However, 95% of the population on the SDMB can look upon their parents and see that they only did/do what they knew and did the best they could, given a time-out or 17 years (like me) of wondering why you are such an angry being.

I still get pissed off about things my dad and step-mom do but overall I let it go because it matters little to my daily life.

Teens, trust me when I say, when you are in your 30s and you have learned to let go of the petty bullshit, you will think back and giggle over the shit that used to piss you off about your parents. Right now you don’t think so because we all live the here and now but I do, I look back and realize I was a very selfish person and still am.

It’s choices you make in your life that make your life a cool breeze or a constant pain in the ass. Your parents have little to do with how you view that, this is completely in your control. You view that as you do anything else in life. It either affects your life or it doesn’t. You either learn from it or you don’t. It’s all up to you. Pretty damn simple.

I just wish I hadn’t been in my 30s to realize that, I wish I had learned that in my late teens or early 20s but as they say “hindsight is always 20/20.”

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ah Spoofely hun, that’s what Live Journal is for. Chances are, those that are your true friends will lend you either NOTHING or they will agree with you. It’s a far more constructive place to let out the pain than a message board, especially a message board like the SDMB where opinions run the spectrum.

I have found it to be my friend, a friend (LJ) that I take advantage of…my poor LJ friends but they are friends so I don’t worry as much.

7

I am a teenager, and while I don’t live at home (and generally I do hate generalising), I think I speak for the teenagers who have ranted here lately.

I think that teens have a right to rant, just like anybody else.

Our problems may seem insignificant to you, you may have got over them or whatever, but they aren’t to us.

I see rants over such superficial things here… and yet a few rants from a teen warrants another thread saying get over it.

Those people will probably get over it in time, they will work through it, but at the moment, they need to rant. It might help. Maybe they have no one else to tell their problems.

Let people rant in peace I say!

8

Oddly enough, I didn’t really hate my parents until after I got married and moved out. Then with a bit of distance and a new perspective on the whole marriage thing, I realized what fucked up bastards they are.

9

Eh, it took me 30 years to realize that my parents weren’t such fuckers.

Today, they have no control over me, I think. :o

10

Eh Blue Curls, at least I didn’t run around and make my points of cough wisdom in those threads, for the most part.

I started this thread to hopefully give a little perspective, separate from the threads I saw. Gotta give me credit for that. If they chose to read it, cool, if not then that’s cool too. I hated getting advice from those that were older and more experienced when it was forced but when I had to hear it separate from my usual confines of complaints then it sunk in a little more.

Yeah, everyone is different, everyone has their own circumstances but sometimes it’s okay to voice my own damn opinions on the plight of family bullshit as I have gone through a lot myself.

So, I let people rant but I also can have my say too. Put it on a public message board, it’s fair game for all.

11

If your parents nag you that much, you can always go to jail.