Well, to inject a lighter note, anybody else here ever listen to Amy’s Answering Machine? (And there’s a second volume out now, too!) If you think YOUR mother drives you crazy…:rolleyes:
She probably won’t worry about that just yet–she hasn’t met her daughter-in-law. Still, should she ever be lucky enough to shake the hand of the incomparable auntie em, she’ll probably worry that my wife isn’t a good enough axe murderer.
“Is her axe sharp enough?” my mom will worry. “Will she be able to chop through the bones without getting caught on an errant marrow mound–or will we need to buy her a saw for Christmas?”
Given the relationship status between my mother (often referred to as either “The Egg Donor” or “The Womb”) and me (there ain’t one), I don’t think auntie em will ever have to worry about a meddlesome biological mummy-in-law.
Now, my surrogate mother, she loves my wife to pieces (the figurative kind, not the literal, bloody, could-be-an-eyeball-but-hopefully-it’s-a-peeled-grape kind), so should there be future riffs between the Princess and me, I’ll probably come out on the losing side. Opinion-wise as to who is wrong, that is.
Funny, that.
Oh, how this OP makes me miss my Mommy. One fine day, Eva sweetie, you’ll wish it was her on the other end of that line.
Until then, I feel your pain. I know where you’re coming from. My mother passed when I was 23 so I thought I’d be immune to the in-your-business gripes until I gained a MIL. No such luck. I now have my sister, Mom’s Mini Me, to fill the position. Your OP uncannily captures her temperament.
I used to feel bad about dodging the calls, but you get used to it. If I get no info on why she’s calling in the voice mail, she doesnt get a response. I’ve just had to say to myself: I am not at her beck-and-call, it is not my job to entertain her.
I love my sisters to death, and MiniMom is lots of fun, but I sometimes wonder how she got to be related to me.
Maybe you should introduce her to the concept of e-mail. Makes for less repetition and does away with the “I need to go right now” unpleasantness.
Mom does do e-mail. The trouble is that she does it in addition to calling, not instead of calling. And the conversations that drive me bonkers are the ones that are too messy to be conducted via e-mail anyway.
Again, this is where the “instant gratification” urge needs to be pounded out of her somehow. I can’t think of any techniques besides negative reinforcement. Any other ideas? I’ve tried straightforward logic, but it doesn’t seem to be getting me anywhere.
Perhaps you could use my telemarketer response;
“Nope, sorry, not interested” ~click~
Your version could be
“Sorry, mom, can’t talk now, I’ll call you later, love you, bye” ~click~
and just hang up before she can get another word in.
I don’t consider it rude to get off the phone quickly with someone who has been asked repeatedly to not interfere with your work. The best would be to be able to screen your calls so that you don’t talk to her at all - her nose might be out of joint at first, but she would get the message that you simply aren’t available for casual chats at work (anything important could be left on voicemail).