That’s one of my favourite tricks! If I plan on taking something with me, say, my phone, I will dutifully pick it up from its usual spot and carry it to the little ledge near the front door, and put it down while I put on my shoes. Then I drive off, and remember at some point that the phone is still sitting on the little ledge.
Reminds me of one I pulled on the day my husband got his leg broken at work. By the time I was finally on my way home for the night, it was close to midnight, it had been a work day for me so I’d been up since before 0600, and it had just plain been a crazy day.
Stop for fuel, leave car on accessory so the odometer reading could be recorded for the notebook DH insists on keeping to record fuel purchases. Finish feeding the car, take off parking brake, put it in Drive. Nothing happens.
Took much longer than it should have to realize that I had not actually started the engine, and that doing so would likely be quite helpful if motion was desired. 
Do you remember a neighbor, in the previous place we lived on H street, who had rigged an alarm system meant for a car, to his apartment? He used a car fob to arm and disarm his home alarm.
I’ve tried to use my debit card to check out books, and my library card to make purchases in stores (just grabbed the wrong card out of my wallet). At least I gave those around me a laugh, and I laugh at my mental hiccups too. Only reasonably healthy response, IMO.
I’ll start with my vision. I scratched my head a bit trying to figure out what a low-TIT bar was.
I am forever dialing the wrong number because 8s look like 5, 6 or 0s.
Now as I’m a few years shy of 72, my balance has gone completely to shit. I used to wonder why old people fall and beak their hips. It’s not because their hips are brittle as much as it is because their (lack of) balance causes them to fall. Last month we were on a tour bus in Scotland. At one stop I got off and noticed my shoe was untied. I bent over, tied it and when I stood up (got disoriented) I fell spectacularly in front of the whole bus. Fun times.
We call those “dog moments” because we’re not getting old, dammit! The term comes from watching one or the other of the dogs come from the kitchen into the living room, slow down trying to remember why they made the move, then jumping on Mom.
I had the opposite problem at Burning Man. Coming on shift I was the driver so was handed the keys. My partner and I climb into the truck, start it fine, and drive across the city to a trouble spot where we climb out and work it for about five minutes to resolve it.
Climb back into the truck, stick the key in and turn it – nothing happens. We look at each other, I make sure it’s in park, tromp on the brake harder, and try a couple times more with no reaction. “What the hell? It started fine at HQ!”
“Let’s see what happens if you just put it in drive.” It moved just fine.
It was the only vehicle in the rental fleet that was a hybrid and the drive over had charged the battery up and the engine wasn’t needed.
60 years old, too many too often.
I now keep a packet of Post-It notes in the center console of my pickup. If I know I am going somewhere to get something later that day or sometime in the next week, it gets jotted down on a Post-It note and stuck just below the info screen on the dash.
My kids make fun of me but when my daughter, who lives 2 hours away and forgot to bring back the baking dish she borrowed when she came back to visit, I mentioned if she would have put a reminder on a Post-It note and stuck to her dash she probably wouldn’t have forgot it.
Uh, are you sure you didn’t buy a ticket for the sequel, Godzilla Minus Zero, which will be released on Nov 5?
I’m actually easily distracted so am constantly setting up three/four reminders to myself about everything. It’s totally habitual but,like Amos on Amos and Andy, to double-check everything.
So, I was pan-frying some cod in about half an inch of oil in my trusty cast-iron skillet, flipping the fillets with a metal fork, which I left resting in the pan between flips.
Now, a good cook (which I flatter myself to be) always tastes his food as he prepares it. So I broke off a little corner of fish with the fork and raised it to my eager lips.
Those of you familiar with such obscure scientific principles as heat conduction and pain receptors may already see where this is going.
My lower lip actually sizzled when the fork touched it. And, Oh… the pain! /Dr. Zachary Smith
Now, the sound of sizzling meat is one of life’s little pleasures. Sizzling lip? Not so much.
A momentary lapse in judgment. A minor senior mishap. Could happen to anyone, right?
Sure. Except that about two minutes later, I did the exact same damn thing again.
Same fork. Same lip. Same sizzling sound. Even more pain.
Apparently, my brain had decided the first incident was insufficiently educational and that a second experiment was needed to confirm the results.
Fool me once, shame on you (“you” being the Universe). Fool me twice, shame on me.
At least the cod turned out nicely.
My normal one is when I go camping, I pull my house keys out to open the tent.
Been doing it since my 20s, so I can’t blame it on age… Beer, maybe.
Just finished 2 jars of peanut butter. Why did I have 2 jars going at the same time? I didn’t see that there was one already opened. And there was already at least one jar ready to go into service. I somehow also often have 3 jars of peanut butter in the cupboard, in addition to the active jar.
I have a bag inside my purse which has a key ring, to which I attach the carabiner for my access badge. I also attach the carabiner for my house key to the same place.
Yes, I have put my house key on my belt loop instead of my access badge. More than once.
The day I went to the gyn about starting HRT I lost my phone at home. I ended up texting my husband (on my tablet) to call my phone. I had put it down in the drawer in the bathroom. Instead of putting it on the counter like a normal person.
There is a thing called Orthostatic hypotension - Wikipedia. You (probably) didn’t have a balance failure. You probably had momentary low blood pressure to the brain and a semi-fainting episode. Hence the disorientation.
But yeah, our balance mechanisms also get crappier with age and when offered a large challenge like a sudden large bend-down to reach your shoes followed by a large unbend back to upright, that can be too much motion too quickly versus what your creaky gyros can handle.
In defense of eating a Reese’s PB cup with the wrapper still attached…
Last Halloween, I had a big bag of the small PB cups and ended up with about half left over. I soon discovered that at least a third of them had TWO paper cups. You could easily unwrap one, remove a paper cup (which did, in fact, come off suspiciously easily), and then pop a cup and wrapper into your mouth without noticing. Having discovered this very quickly, it slipped from my mind every single time I ate another one.
I’m 57 now, and don’t do alcohol. I’m just a ditz some days.
My agency has a card we use to pay for medical copays called a Difference Card. It’s actually just a credit card cloaked with administrative protocols.
I went to a local gas station to get lunch and tried paying for my purchase with this card. Twice.
I was upset it wasn’t getting approved and started to micro panic while the line grew behind me.
Duh …
Ha ha, I like that. I definitely have creaky gyros!
My uncle visited us this summer, and mailed himself a package while here.
He has informed delivery, and it cheerfully told him about the package he was sending himself after he printed the mailing label and before he actually mailed the package.
Because just like you. He forgot for a moment what he’d just done , and got a tiny bit excited/curious about who was sending him a package.
I noticed my multivitamins were getting low, so I went on Amazon and ordered a new bottle. They arrived a few days later, and I went to put them in the pantry. At that point I discovered another unopened bottle of vitamins that I had ordered two weeks earlier and completely forgot about.
This one’s sad. Because it features my Dad, and I’m pretty sure his brain fog is caused by grief. (We lost Mom two month ago,).
But in the vein of wrong key fobs . . .
I’m driving him downtown for a doctor’s appointment and he gets squirmy. I ask what’s up, and he thinks he doesn’t have the keys to the other car ,(just his car) so we’ll have to leave the car unlocked.
Except it’s my car, and the key in the ignition will lock the doors. He does have keys to my car.