This was part of the conversation at dessert tonight:
Sometimes I swear we’re scripted. 
We may be cousins.
My family is insane. Outsiders, though extensively warned and prepared, just don’t know what to make of us all.
My parents used to spend every Christmas with my grandparents.
One year the phone rang. My father answered and talked for a few minutes. After he hung up, he and my mother had the following exchange:
“Looks like we’ll spend Christmas at home this year.”
“Alone??? What are you talking about. I’m not spending Christmas alone!!!”
“A loan??? Why the hell do you want us to take out a loan for Christmas! Don’t I make enough money for you?”
Hilarity ensued.
It’s always fun when my family gets together and we’re in a good mood.
I can remember some realy embarassing conversations held over the supper table.
My sister: [sing-songy voice] Or-ange Juuuuice![/sing-songy voice]
My father: AAACCHHHOOOO!!!
I think that speaks for itself.
I was laying on the couch on thursday night, sorta zonked out and watching TV and my 7 year old wanders out of his bedroom, 7/8ths still asleep and asks me in his little, sleepy kid’s voice “Daddy, does Jesus have a vagina”?
The answer was an evasisve “I don’t think so”, but it made for interesting breakfast conversation the next morning.
mm
Your dad rocks.
One time when my brother and I were kids, us, my dad and mom were driving back from somewhere. My dad really had to pinch a loaf and was moaning and groaning about it in the car. My mom was getting annoyed and said, “We’re almost home! Stop talking about it!”
My dad retaliated, “No! I gotta go!” he then rolled down the window and yelled out to passerby, “I gotta goooo! I gotta goooooo!”
My mom was mortified and slumped in her seat to avoid being seen. My brother and I laughed our asses off.