Monty Python non sequitur thread

It’s always Christmas in Heaven!

Mr. Bradshaw, will you stand up, please.

Let’s not bicker and argue over who killed who.

Well, if people can’t fly what am I doing up here?

Of course it’s got a hole in it, it wouldn’t be a hoop if it didn’t have a hole it it, would it?

Nothing to do with me. I’m not in this show.

Sir Notappearinginthisfilm.

I am not on a wire. I am flying.

Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
Riding through the land
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
Without a merry band
He steals from the poor and gives to the rich
Stupid bitch.

But it’s my only line!

Gimme the 'oop!

A moose once bit my sister.

I think you mean, “A Møøse once bit my sister.”

That’s all right sir, we get all sorts of lines in here. The head waiter will be along to abuse you in a few moments, and now if you’ll excuse me I have to go and commit suicide.

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away
Half a crate of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
Hobbes was fond of his dram,
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:
“I drink, therefore I am”

Oh, an hoop. Thank you, your bleedin’ Highness.

Say no more.

Oh, a gahp. A gahp in one’s hoop. Pahdon me, but I’m off to play the grahnd piahno.

Wink, wink.

Oh, Eton and Madgalene. The hoop has an hole in. 'Course it’s got a hole in it, it wouldn’t be a hoop otherwise, would it!