I have been unable to carry through any plans I have.
For example, I have the desire to go play my drums, so I head to the music room, but when I get there (maybe 45 seconds have passed), I don’t want to do that anymore.
Same thing with the guitars/bass.
Just in that short of a space of time that happens.
Same with reading or World of Warcraft lately. TV… (well, that’s probably normal, right, ain’t shit on).
Same with hygiene (sometimes).
I have an appointment with my counsellor after New Years’ so I will tell her about this. but meanwhile is there anyone who’s not at my level of crazy who does this?
I go into the guitar room and end up just messing around on the computer.
Or I’ll sit down to watch TV and turn it off before I even check the channel lineup.
Its not just from being sidetracked or distracted It’s the realization that some thing I was very interested in doing a few minutes ago is something that I suddenly have no interest in.
In my case it could be just general restlessness. After one of these episodes I usually force myself to to some task for 30 minutes or so just to gain some discipline. If I’m really pissed at myself for being so wishy-washy I pick a thrilling task like organizing my sock drawer. It seems like mundane tasks kind of re-align my mood with my reality and I can do something more engaging afterward.
I don’t think that “your level of crazy” causes this. It probably just lets this restless tendency express itself more.
I do this all the time. For some reason I sometimes get a very short attention span, and just jump from one thing to another. Maybe I need a shower, and I go into the bathroom. But I’m feeling a little hungry, so I have to eat something first. So I go to the kitchen and decide to clean the litter box instead. Then I realize I’m almost out of kitchen towels, so decide to do laundry. I go down to the basement, and I remember I need to bring some cat food up to the kitchen . . .
Before I know it, the day is over and I still haven’t taken a shower.
Seriously, if you really are unable to follow through with any plans, that can be a sign of depression. Your counselor can help explore that avenue. But everyone does this to some extent.
I used to have that problem a long time ago. Here’s how I fixed it.
Every morning, when I wake up, I spend 5-10 minutes just laying in the bed, making a mental plan of my day. Not too specific. Just the most important things that I need to do - chores at home, bills that I need to pay, things that I need to do. Then I spread everyting into my free time, to see if I will have enough time to do everytinhg. If so - i proceed with the plan, if not - I try to eliminate some of the stuff that it isn’t that important, and again proceed with the plan.
Having a mental plan for your day really helps. Its not like you are locked to hour-to-hour schedule, but you will know what you need to do and do you have the time to do it.
When you are done with everything that you’ve planed in the morning just fill your free time with something that makes you smile. Meeting friends, watching movies… it doesn’t really matter.
As long as those concerns about depression - it’s all about the mindset. As you probably noticed from my english, I am not american, the mental disease ‘depression’ is not that popular in the social medium in my country. As a consequence - most of the people are not aware of the side effects of the depression and never really think about it. When they feel down they just try to find a way to amuse themselfs and go forward with their lives.
You are experiencing what sounds like anhedonia. It is common in depression, but depression isn’t the only thing that causes it.
This may make not apply to your case, but some anhedonic people CAN experience pleasure in activities. What they lack is the motivation necessary to engage in those activities. For instance, the idea of going to a concert may be 100% nauseating. But once they are taken to a concert and forced to stay, they can experience the pleasure everyone else feels.
What sucks is that even after having experienced this, these people will still continue to feel miserable at the “idea”. The thing in the brain that connects pleasure to memory is broken.
I went through a stint of this type of anhedonia a couple of years ago. Medication helped it diminished, I think.
That’s one of the ones I’m already on, but just one a day. I used to be on two a day, but my neuro-psych doc reduced the dosage. I think we’ll revisit that one.
