Moratoriums needed in music

[photopat]

In the area of music radio, I’d like to place a moratorium on stations that try to make themselves sound cool by trumpeting their playlist as more extensive or “album cut friendly,” when they turn around and play the same fucking 80 songs as every other station with a similar format!

Here’s a clue WDRV, Soul Kitchen is not a rarity. I hear it at least once a week, regardless of which station I’m listening to.

Also, while I love the Beatles and always enjoy hearing Get Back, if you’re playing the rooftop version, you don’t need to respond to John after he says they hope they’ve passed the audition. That’s just too sappy.

Oh, and I hate Zeppelin. I used to like them a little, but nightly “Get the Led out” segments at midnight every freaking night can make anybody sick of 'em.

[Ms_Macphisto]

@AskNott

While we’re talking about U2 and counting, what the heck is the joke in counting off the tempo as “Uno, dos, tres, catorce?”

It’s their 14th album, if you count the two Best Ofs.

[Ms_Macphisto]

Or, more accurately, the song Vertigo is on their upcoming 14th album, How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb. Speaking of which, if this hasn’t been mentioned already, excessively long album names need to be banned. This is two in a row now for U2.

[DoctorJ]

In the area of music radio, I’d like to place a moratorium on stations that try to make themselves sound cool by trumpeting their playlist as more extensive or “album cut friendly,” when they turn around and play the same fucking 80 songs as every other station with a similar format!

One of the “classic rock” stations I can get in my car once had a commercial in which they said, “We play the hits you can’t get ANYWHERE ELSE!” This was followed immediately by a clip from–swear to God–“Free Bird”.

I e-mailed them and asked them exactly what tracks they played that I could not find anywhere else, since I was fairly sure I could find every track they played in their commercial on one of those three stations on my ten minute drive to work.

If we’re talking to the radio stations, here’s a word to the aforementioned Classic Rock stations: Boston. They made, like, three albums that anybody cares about. None of them were any good. Please stop acting like they were.

[Superdude]

In addition to the sounds of horns and/or sirens, what about other automotive sounds?

I can’t think of ANY place since Movin’ Out that the sound of a motorcycle has worked.

And anyone that decides to talk either before, during, or after the song. Or has psuedo-radio in it, a la We Built This City.

[Typo_Negative]

@hybrid_dogfish

Mobile phone ringtones are irritating, especially when it is not actually being made by a mobile phone, but instead forms part of a track playing on the radio, DO NOT INCLUDE THEM IN YOUR SONGS!

The same goes for police/fire/ambulance sirens, they don’t add anything except to have me frantically check my mirrors for blue lights when I hear the sound of them.

Oh God yes. I hate sound effects in songs, especially sirens at odd times. Especially when I’m listening in my car.

[Roberta_Plant]

Okay, sorry for the revival but “'tis the season”–DO NOT RE-MAKE OR WRITE ANY SONGS FOR CHRISTMAS. DO NOT. EVER. I don’t care how tunefully you can speculate on how funny it would be if Daddy saw Mommy kissing Santa Clause (JCM) or met your old “lover” in the grocery store and drank a six-pack in her car (JF) or whatever you did or do or will do on or around Christmas. I do not want to hear about it; the only people who can make or remake Christmas carols or songs have already DONE THEM about 40 years ago*. So don’t re-sing them or otherwise make up any of your very own. Please. For the love of Christ -mas…

[Mr.Blue_Sky]

@Knowed Out

No glam or hair metal metal should ever be allowed to do a love ballad. Your voices are for screaming at fast tempos, not for emoting sap in slow time. By the same token, backing the love ballad up with an orchestra doesn’t make it any better. You can’t polish a turd.

I was going to post this, but I would allow each hard rock/heavy metal band to get one power ballad.

Make it good, guys, it’s all you’re going to get. Oh, yeah, you only get to sing it live ONCE per tour.

[Gyrate]

@Superdude

Or has pseudo-radio in it, a la We Built This City.

Paradise by the Dashboard Light has to get a pass on this one, if only for extreme cleverness.

Hands up everyone who took several listenings (and/or years) before realizing the double meaning of the baseball commentary…

[todd33rpm]

@1920s Style "Death Ray"

Also done 5 years earlier by Pink Floyd on Us and Them. Effective when done well and no one else has done it already.

A-ha…I knew there had to be an earlier instance that I’d missed. Right band, wrong song. Thanks!