More Frequent Pitting Miles for Pat Robertson/700 Club

The BBQ Pit
1

There’s one TV in my house from which I haven’t deleted the (numerous) religious channels from the auto-detection.

Watching it this morning, I stumbled upon Pat in all his 700 Club glory, so I decided to see how long it would take him to prompt me to throw things at the TV. Not the most fun game, but hey…I was bored.

He was rambling on about a housewife and mother who had been struggling to manage her family’s debt while her construction-worker was recovering from an injury. But then she “made an investment that would change her and her family’s financial future”.

So they cut to footage of this woman explaining how things were tough, living week to week and month to month and sometimes having a hard time buying groceries, etc. They got by while her husband was injured the “only way they knew how”, but maxing out their $6000 worth credit. Even after her husband recovered enough to start working agian, work was scarce and they were stuck making minimum payments and watching their balance remain the same, etc.

She then went on to recall that during periods when they were tithing regularly, they “always seemed to make it through”. And one day, while watching a 700 Club telethon, she was “compelled” to make a $20/month pledge, even though they didn’t have rent.

Then, “suddenly, a whole year after her husband’s accident”, they received a settlement letter in the mail, which was soon followed by a $10,000 settlement check with which they were able to pay all of their debts. Since then, they’ve been able to stay on top of their bills and continue to tithe and contribute to the 700 Club regularly.

Blah blah blah, etc, etc.

OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE!!!

:dubious: Hmmm…maybe you were able to both tithe and “make it through” during those times for the same reason…more disposable income?

And have you ever noticed how settlements aren’t often reached in a timely fashion? No…obviously God was stalling the settlement because you hadn’t been contributing enough to be a Christian worthy of His fickle good graces.

The whole fucking racket of “God taking care of you if you tithe” just makes my skin crawl.

Seriously.

2

It’s little different from the indulgence-selling that instigated the Reformation 500 years ago (or so- pardon me if I don’t look up the date). It never changes. Some people think they’re better off, or in some cases just plain better, than others if they give money to a church. If that’s what floats your boat, that’s great, but it’s one of the reasons why I don’t go to church anymore, because of this un-Christian smugness that goes along with it.

Whattayagonnado? In the future, I would advise you to ignore Pat Robertson at all times. He is probably one of the least Christian Christians I have ever seen.

3

The really predatory thing about it is that the piece was obviously intended as means to manipulate people who are already destitute to give their rent money to Pat Robertson. Truly, truly despicible.

4

Indulgences? As in, good old “split from the Catholic church” type indulgences?

5

Sad to say, while death threats and gloating over strokes are time-to-time things, he basically does a piece like that on EVERY SINGLE SHOW. As of course, that’s the point of the show to begin with.

6

Yup, those. Same type of protection racketeering going on.

7

Somebody needs to find these people and interview them a year after they receive their bounty from god. I’d bet they’re probably back in the hole again.

I wonder if the show’s credits lists the names of these people.

8

I bet it works, too. And since most people are able to eventually improve their circumstances, he’s got a ready supply of witnesses to the miracle of giving. This guy belongs in a carny midway.

9

I work for an insurance company and can vouch that we won’t settle a claim until The 700 Club has been paid. True story.

By the way, HIPAA doesn’t affect Pat Robertson as he can get all of your health records straight from God, too.

The more ya know :wink:

10

:smack: What ever happened to workmans comp? Or have the Republicans gotten rid of that already?

11

Wow. whenI worked for an HMO I got the distinct impression HIPAA applied to God, too.

12

This reminds me of something juvenile I did for a cheesy art-noise radio show I used to be involved with in the eighties:

I took a thirty second infinite-loop audio cassete and filled it up with the hypnotic, soothing suggestions of a local radio preacher:

“Consider every dollar you earn a personal loan from God… Sign each cheque with prayer… God wants you to get out your cheque-book now…” etc… Played it for an hour block. (Community radio, so nobody cares… but I still like the idea of people tuning through the stations and stumbling on that… WTF? :smiley: )

Those venal jerks can be pretty blatant when they’re fleecing their flocks.

13

[Goodfellas] That’s the way it is with [God][sup]1[/sup]. He gets his money no matter what. You got no business? Fuck you, pay me. You had a fire? Fuck you, pay me. The place got hit by lightning and World War Three started in the lounge? Fuck you, pay me. [/Goodfellas]

[sup]1[/sup]The movie doesn’t really say “God.” Its says, “…a wisegy partner…”

14

I have heard that crap, also. You can’t expect to ever be blessed by God unless you tithe. Even if you can’t afford to, etc. Seed money and all…

15

I honestly think this is one reason I waver between agnosticism and atheism today. I was a fairly devout Christian growing up (never a fundamentalist- always had problems with the virgin birth and such- but I believed in Jesus as the Messiah). When I was a teenager and things were desperate- no money, alcoholic mother, crazy aunt peeing and talking to dead relatives all day (often at the same time), struggling with gay issues, etc., I remember Jim Bakker going on and on about this type of stories. I can’t believe I was ever that stupid and simple, but I sent him all the cash I had- about $10- with the request it be used for his foster home for abandoned (what we would now call) special-needs kids, and hoped it would “reap fruit”.

Not only did we not get $300,000 by carrier pigeon like the people on his show, but after he and Tammy Fay were sent into exile (this was years later), an expose on the PTL empire revealed that the home for special needs foster kids, which was a beautiful huge neo-Victorian style house built for 3 dozen or so kids in wheelchairs and iron lungs and burn scars and the like but with an indoor pool and trained counsellors and the -a truly wonderful idea for a place- had at one time housed three kids. That was its highest occupancy ever. Then it closed when the money was reapplied to the hotel and amusement park.

I consider myself a reasonably intelligent if not always practical person, and I fell for this. When I think of how many people more desperate than we were, how many ancient people on $400 monthly incomes who couldn’t afford to eat in a restaurant or have a telephone or whatever, how many religious girls being molested by their fathers or single mothers with eviction notices sent in widows mites that went into the chair moulding in a ‘Holy Opryland’ style hotel suite or to air condition Jim and Tammy’s doghouse or to keep Jessica Hahn from talking it just makes me want to hurl. Tammy Fay has made something of a good graces comeback in the media in recent years as a “really decent person who was the first talk show host to have an openly gay HIV+ person on and was a self-medicating anxiety victim and she went through total hell before and after the fall yadda yadda” I still remember those rocks she wore and the fleet of luxury cars she drove and the scenes of her 2,000 square foot walk-in-closet and I just can’t raise any sympathy for her. I have no problem with Dolly Parton owning a house the size of Biltmore or Tom Cruise flying a plane that costs more than the whole Ecuadorian air force because their money comes from money people spend willingly on entertainment, but people went without so that these people could live in unbridled sybarism and stop just short of building huge statues of themselves on the Nile.

Anyway, sorry for the hijack.

16

That’s an awfully nice soul you’ve got there. Be a shame if there was an…accident.

17

Ever read the Shortest Book in the Bible (Bel and the Dragon)? Same sort of thing. It reads like Pledge Week on PBS, only with a dragon.

18

Hijack, my eye.

Testify!

19

And a Bel G

Actually, in Catholic & Eastern Orthodox Bibles, Bel & the Dragon is part of Daniel.
Only in Protty Bibles that have the Apocrypha is it a separate book.
In Evangelical-Fundist circles, we hear tithing/giving>financial breakthrough
testimonies all the time. And tithing is usually encouraged. However, most ministers/churches encourage good sense if one is in completely dire straits.
Sampiro- what was the name of the little boy Jim & Tammy used to raise money for that house? Kevin? Yeah, I was a daily watcher back then. They only got $10 out of me & I was in college, but at least I have Tammy Sue’s album in exchange for it.

20

Folks, will you allow me to recommend The Trinity Foundation to you? They’re a bunch of devout Christians down in Houston who started out as Christian broadcasters themselves and monitors of Christian broadcasters. They didn’t like what they saw. Their mission is now investigating and exposing televangelists and it has been for over 20 years now. They also run a homeless shelter. They also have ways of reporting it when people have been victims of religious fraud. Some televangelists believe the publisher, Ole Anthony is in league with the Anti-Christ; I believe he’s my kind of Christian.

“Love the Lord, your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” “Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves.” "I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves. " Christians are supposed to think and consider the possibility of deception, not mindlessly give in to authority. If I wanted to, I could probably even draw a parallel to Jesus getting in trouble for picking grain on the Sabbath, but it’s too early for that now. I’ve very little regard for Pat Robertson, Robert Tilton, the Bakkers and their ilk. To me, their little more than bottom feeders, preying on their followers sincere faith and hope and turning it to their own profit. At least muggers and thieves don’t claim to be asking for money to serve God.

CJ