I’m not an expert in Christianity, but as far as my knowledge goes The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit constitute the same entity: The Holy Trinity.
Which would seem to validate the fact that Christianity is monotheistic.
On to other matters:
George Burns is God.
George burns is dead.
God is dead.
Seriously now, if God died–let’s say he suffered a stroke while trying to lift the rock, would He go to heaven or hell?
Remember He killed millions in the Great Flood.
Thou shall not kill!!!
Would an amendment to the commandments be forthcoming in order to guarantee a membership renewal for heaven’s Founding Father?
So I’ve heard. But this has always struck me as similar to claiming the New York Yankees is a single entity, and that therefore there are no individuals on the team.
OK. Everyone on this thread who hasn’t heard the “God and the big rock” thing before please make a queue. It’d help if I knew all of your particular personal problems, but I suppose I can just ad lib.
Or, perhaps every time He feels like making “a rock so large He cannot lift it” a stellar mass somewhere in the universe contracts within it’s own Schwartzchild radius, and collapses.
It could happen.
Which leads me to:
Assuming that the rock is so heavy as to make it reasonable to discuss whether the most powerful Being in the universe could lift it, then it should be dense enough to force it into unrestricted gravitational collapse and, hence, black hole status.
Which poses the obvious questions: Could God be sucked into it? If so, could He escape from it?
Yoda “Size matters not. Look at me. Underestimate me? and well you should not, for my ally is the force and a powerful ally it is. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter…”
::sticks out muppet hand, lifts ship::
Luke “I don’t beleive it”
Yoda “That is why you fail”
THe real question is can God create a rock Yoda can’t lift?
God: I must prove my omnipotence to those who adore me.
Yoda: How?
God: By showing them that the impossible doesn’t apply to me.
Yooa: Omnipotence matters not. Know that You should.
God: It matters to those earthlings.
Yoda: If your ally is the force, omnipotent you are.
God: But my midiclorian count is running low. Am I losing my omnipotence?
Yoda: Difficult to see omnipotence is.
God: I must work on my omnipotence to restore My Magnificence.
Yoda: Practice a master makes.
God: Of course, I haven’t exercised my omnipotence since the flood. I guess I should flood the earth once more.
Yoda: No one left to worship you will there be.
God: Right, no way I’m making the same mistake again. What to do, then?
Yoda: A rock you can’t lift you must make.
God: Of course. Thanks Yoda, you are a real pal.
Yoda: Why you should make it I haven’t explained to you yet.
God: Good point. Why?
Yoda: By lifting it your omnipotence you will prove.
God: Ahja! You are wrong. How I can lift a rock that even I can’t lift.
Yoda: Must everything I have to explain? Through my alliance with the force lift it I will. The credit you will take.
God: Dah! It’s all clear now.
Yoda: Totally clear it isn’t yet.
God: No?
Yoda: A condition there is.
God: Damn, why did I invent those? So, what is your condition?
Yoda: For my services, God I shall become.
God: But I am God.
Yoda: God you will be no more.
God: Come on, you are joking, right?
Yoda: Joke jedi masters don’t.
God: I will cease to be God. No way! What about all the adulation, the wars fought in my name? I will lose everything that I care about.
Yoda: But considered omnipotent you will be.
God: Yes, and it is omnipotence they worship after all. All right, where do I sign?
Yoda: DOES THE DOTTED LINE RING A BELL?
God: Hey, you are talking differently.
Yoda: Sometimes difficult to maintain patience is.
God: O.k. Yoda, here you go. Everything is signed.
Yoda: A good deal this was.
God: Now I will create the rock for you to lift.
Yoda: Create it you should.
God: Done. Now lift it.
Yoda: Lift it I can’t.
God: But you said you could.
Yoda: So gullible you shouldn’t be.
God: You little liar. You will go to hell for this.
Yoda: To hell I won’t go. God I am now, in heaven I shall reside.
God: No you shall not, the contract is now invalid. You failed to accomplish that which you compromised to.
Yoda: The fine print you should always read. Cable T.V. have you not?
God: What fine print? Oh damn, you cunning devil…
And so goes the story of how vanity cost God His omnipotence.
Unfortunately, God Yoda never revealed the fine print of the aforementioned contract. As to humanity, peace and happiness became since then inextricably intertwined with its existence.
A while back my little nephew asked me…
Could He-Man beat up Jesus?
I told him that yes He-Man could beat up Jesus but he wouldn’t.
I don’t know about the rock thing but apparently God can make a person who dosen’t believe in him.
