OK, here I am, sipping my last Jack Daniels of the day, and in pops this question again. It’s been on my mind for at least a few years now.
It involves men and urinals. When I use a urinal to pee, I unzip my fly, locate my penis, whip it out, and start urinating.
HOWEVER.
There seems to be a group of men that do not use this fairly standard protocol. More than once, I have been standing next to someone in the urinals that unbuckles his belt, opens fly AND button, and proceeds to urinate fully loose-pantsed. If that is a word, I deserve a Pullitzer nomination, but I’m sure y’all catch my drift.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I’m obsessively looking at the adjacent urinals for this, but the belt unbuckling sounds as well as the more elaborate movements accompanying this particular protocol are just BOUND to catch the neighbouring urinators eye or ear.
So, gentlemen. What gives? Why do some people do this? Are they hung like a horse? Is the fly to small? Are their hands really big?
Why go through all the trouble? What the HELL do these people think a fly is for, anyway?
(I think it is obvious why this is in MPSIMS. But if the language gets too naughty, moderators are welcomed to move this little gem to the Pit )
Coldfire Voted Poster Most Likely To Post Drunk
WallyM7 on Coldfire: "Yeah, he knows a little about everything because they have a good prison library."
Actually I think the opposite is true, my hubby does this.
Actually, he says that it’s because he has to retuck his shirt.
A woman needs four animals in her life: A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and an ass to pay for it all.
—Zsa Zsa Gabor
“Penises don’t belong in the mouth, girls and boys. You’ve got the wrong hole there. Just like you wouldn’t shove pizza up your nose.”
-From the Brother Jed flyer-
I personally use the fly, but there are a few exceptions. One is when I’m exceedingly drunk…its just best to be safe. The other is if I happen to be wearing tighty whities or bikini briefs (these two occurances haven’t happened since high school).
I agree that the unbutton it all the way complex is probably in indicator of a ‘member’ which dosn’t quite clear the plane of the pants, ergo unbottoning all he way keeps any errent overspray from soiling the fly. Secondly, there is no fly on bikini briefs, and the fly on tighty whiteys can be more trouble than its worth, so these folks tend to pull down that waistband and need to unbuckle.
For the record, I generally wear tighty whities (dislike all the flopping that boxers incur) and Abercrombie khakis. Abercrombie khakis only come in 32s and 36s. 32s being too small, 36s being too large. Therefore, I wear 36s with a belt. To pee, I undo the belt, and the front of the pants are low enough no unbuttoning or fly undoing is necessary. That, and I’m hung.
–Tim
You can’t accidently create a handicapped baby whilst smoking pot.
Aha! So Lumpy is a “grower.” I think we may have soved part of the mystery here. I am starting to wonder if the answer to the “fly or buckle” question depends on size while flaccid (keeping the caveats posted above in mind, of course).
And Homer, forgive me for asking what might be a stupid question, but if Abercrobmie and Fitch does not have pants in your size, why don’t you buy your pants somewhere else?
)
