To summarize, woman is talking with hiring manager and asks for three weeks vacation. He replies that ordinarily they only allow two weeks a year. She pops a breath mint into her mouth and a unicorn (dotted with blue, like the mint) breaks into the room and rests its head on her shoulder. She smirks and says “I’m not ordinary”. She gets her three weeks of vacation.
Is there anything in this commercial that makes sense? OK, let’s be blunt to the point of crudeness here – in the sordid real world, there’s only one method of obtaining an extra week of vacation that can be aided by taking a breath mint first, and that method is not likely to be employed by a woman who has a unicorn for a companion.
Even in the bizarre fantasy world in which this commercial exists, the reaction to a unicorn smashing into the conference room would more likely be “Get that thing the fuck out of here!” than “Here’s your three weeks of vacation.” Unless the subtext is “If I don’t get my three weeks of vacation, my buddy the unicorn will bathe its horn in your entrails.” Which, honestly, is not the best start to a long and productive working relationship.
I hate hate hate hate the “spoiled, bossy kid in charge of the parents” trope. The latest offender is a Hyundai commercial where Spoiled Bossy Daughter gestures imperiously for Dad and the salesman to step aside, which they do, while apologizing to a 10-year-old. She then decides they’ll take both and shoots down Dad when he says they can only get one.
God, I want to reach into the TV and bitch slap that little snot until she begs to be driven home in a rusted-out Gremlin while her parents belt out “Angel of the Morning.”
Hate that Puerto Rico bankruptcy commercial with that investor Teresa. God I hate that last line: “My life savings will be crushed” in her awful, dramatic accent. The commercial against providing chapter 9 bankruptcy for Puerto Rico.
Yeah. I don’t mind it in Grease. A girl singing to a girl about putting her life together is one thing. But the male singer … yeah, and stalker-ish is a good description.
Which makes it more irritating is that (a) that is not even what’s being proposed in the bill and (b) if her savings were in PR securities, they are crushed already anyway.
The Chevy commercials are just. . .stupid. “Pick the best saw to cut a piece of wood”. Wow, what a challenge. Then the guy says “You all picked the best saw for the job.” They don’t show the other saws (that I noticed), so it wouldn’t take a master craftsman to choose between a circular saw, a miter saw and a hacksaw to cut a 2x6. The other ones are equally stupid.
I’m also hating the trend to crow about having “real people” in these ads. I’m pretty sure that the disclaimer should be “Real people who are not only carefully selected, but who are also compensated by us to say positive things about our crappy product.”
There’s a new McDonald’s commercial that’s supposed to be tugging on your heart strings but thuds futilely against my cynical stone-like circulatory organ . New bride and groom get into the limo and find a little McDonald’s care package from Dadwith a note that says “The wedding couple never has time to eat at the reception.” Cue tear trickling down the viewer’s face as the feels course through them – feels that will theoretically translate into sales of Quarter Pounders in the near future.
But in the non-fantasy world in which Dad has just sprung for an enormous wedding and McDonald’s meals congeal into unappetizing globs of fat if they are not consumed within five minutes of purchase, wouldn’t it be more likely that Dad would have had the caterers prepare a nice little midnight snack, with prime rib and maybe some wedding cake? And while I enjoy the occasional guilty treat as much as the next person, I always find that McDonald’s fries always leave me smelling just slightly of fryolater oil – possibly the least romantic odor in the known universe.
Then again, in Googling the commercial, I discovered that hosting weddings at McDonald’s is all the rage in Hong Kong. So maybe my understanding of romance is faulty.
What’s up with the new peanut allergy commercial? It’s a far cry from the Epipen commercial where people confidently go about their lives…this one shows a girl having an immediate reaction to a brownie (because apparently the dumb hostess doesn’t realize that peanuts and peanut butter have something in common???), and ends with her blacking out. I have no idea what they’re supposed to be advertising.
I just found a new commercial to hate. They showed it ahead of the Captain America movie last night, and the spouse and I cringed through the whole thing. It was for some Schick razor, and it featured women dressed as “emojis,” singing the stupidest song ever. Patronizing, and smelling of “old people try to be hip for the kids,” this thing just stunk all the way around.
the one I hate is its for one of those security systems that you can monitor your home for your phone via an app but the mom uses it on the kids car and actually either slows down the car or text her to slow down the car with it amoung other things …
There’s a newish commercial for Modelo Especial beer (which I can’t find on YouTube), with a theme something like how to be a grown up man. The reason I can’t remember the gist of the commercial is because all I remember from it is this one sentence, “If you want a girl to marry you, you ask her father.” Apparently Modelo drinkers live in a place or an era in which unmarried women are still the property of their fathers until they’re foisted off on husbands. (And I say that as a somewhat conservative guy.)
