brittekland– It’s no wonder you mispeak if you use sentences like this:
“But then I’m a professional slip-of-tonguer. It would be a real thick book to tell all of my social bloopers.”
When I read that, it got garbled in my brain’s voice.
I once began to use one of my favorite analogies in a conversation, the Indian story of the blind men and the elephant. Too late I remembered one of my audience had been blind from birth. Somehow the analogy didn’t seem to have the impact I wanted.
I never promised you a rose garden.
I just got back from withdrawing $60 from the teller because the ATM was offline. I hope that the rather busty teller doesn’t realize where my mind was when she asked how I wanted the money and I said, “A pair of tens, please.”
The day after my husband’s birthday, he and I and our young daughter attended an office party. One of the other guests happened to be celebrating a birthday that day, and all activity and conversation ceased when this person was given a gift and wished a happy birthday. My daughter turned to me and asked, “Where’s daddy’s present?” I replied, “Daddy got his present last night.”
You can imagine the uproar…
In third grade I was the class clown. It was spring. I was always interrupting and making jokes. One day I passed by the world map. Looking at the African countries I pointed and said, “Hey look, Niger”. I froze.
My next memory is winter and hunting for math flash cards. I’ve been working on not being introverted for decades.
I’d just joined a new expanding firm as VP, and the woman manning the front desk and typing our letters was the President’s wife. A couple of days later it was secretary’s day so I bought her a small planterbox with a fern. She was insulted, called hubby over and confronted me, saying she was not a secretary, with him trying not to step on either of our toes. So I apologized and asked what her title was. Mollified a bit, she said they hadn’t picked one yet, what could I suggest. I thought of Executive Assistant, but decided that was too tame and said Majordomo, Chief of Staff. She had never heard the term (fortunately he had) and thought I was saying Major Dummy. After lunch she cooled down and thanked me for the fern. After that always avoided being in the office on secretary’s day.
Not exactly a slip of the tongue.
I was at a meet-the-baby morning tea we were having for a colleague. Said new baby was being passed around for cuddles and I was there with my brand new dSLR, taking photos of everyone and everything. Baby got passed to Penny, directly across the table from me, so a bit close for my 50mm lens.
“I really need a wider lens” is what I said when I should have said, “this lens is too long”. :o
She forgave me.
Ha! I was going to post about the time I asked for “green peckers” on my Subway sandwich.
Not so much a slip of the tongue; more something that I just shouldn’t have said:
I was playing in a medieval recorder group and we were preparing to put on a concert where we’d play three dance pieces, back to back to back, without breaking in between: Trenchmore, Female Sailor and Hole in the Wall (trust me, they’re really popular, well-known dances). I had an epiphany and said, "Hey, in the program, we can call this one “Trench the Female Hole!”
The other players in the group (all ladies in their 50’s) were not so impressed.