“Neanderthal Man” by Hotlegs*
“I’m a Neanderthal Man
You’re a Neanderthal Girl
Let’s make Neanderthal Love
In our Neanderthal World”
Repeated. And repeated. And repeated.
Anything by Kenny Rogers, but especially the lyrics to “Coward of the County.”
*It evidently embarassed the group performing it, too, since they quickly changed their name to 10cc and had a respectable career.
Lately, I find myself recommending songs or movies to unsuspecting people so that they can know how horrible they are, and so I can compare experiences.
You have to listen to Seasons in the Sun. In fact, everyone should do it. Take a moment, close your eyes and listen to it.
Any experience will seem extremely wonderful compared to that song, including getting pummelled by professional boxers while being simultaneously smeared with a myriad of decomposed substances and having your skin pierced by rusty nails.
Aaaarghhh… Brain… melting…
Eugh!
Damn you Kuroko!
Blech! I never should’ve…
“We’ll put a boot in your ass, it’s the American way” and the rest of that stupid novelty song. Toby Keith, is it?
There’s a band/girl? called Mary Prankster, that has a song called “Tits and Whiskey”. In the chourus she sings, “Fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me, I am Ernies rubber ducky…” Its actually a pretty good pop/punk song, but those lyrics just ruin it. I mean she couldn’t come up with a better rhyme for “fuck me” than “rubber ducky”?
Jon
As far as pure and innocent inanity goes, i have to nominate Queen’s song Bicycle race:
Bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my bike
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride it where I like
And Phish’s song, Contact:
The tires are the things on your car
That make contact with the road,
The tires are the things on your car
That make contact with the road,
The tires are the things on your car
That make contact with the road,
The car is the thing on the road
That takes you back to your abode.
But I like them both, so there’s no accounting for taste 
R. Kelly – “Ignition”
Let me stick my key in your ignition
So I can get this thing started and get rollin’
I’ll be doin’ about 80 on your freeway
I won’t stop until I drive you crazy
Somehow this stuff keeps migrating to the music section from the comedy section.
I keep telling y’all, this is the worst song ever recorded with he worst lyrics ever written:
Gotta have a drink of water and a story read
A teddybear named Fred, that’s my boy
What’s that you say momma, come on and keep your feet warm?
Well save me a place I’ll be there in a minute or so
I think I’ll stay right here
And say a little prayer before I go
Me and God are watching Scotty grow
Me and God are watching Scotty grow
Bobby Goldsboro, of course (where is that vomit smilie when you need it).
You want insipid? You got it!
Cherish is the word I use to describe
All the feeling that I have hiding here for you inside
You don’t know how many times I’ve wished that I had told you
You don’t know how many times I’ve wished that I could hold you
You don’t know how many times I’ve wished that I could
Mold you into someone who could
Cherish me as much as I cherish you
Perish is the word that more than applies
To the hope in my heart each time I realize
(a snip here)
Oh I’m beginning to think that man has never found
The words that could make you want me
That have the right amount of letters, just the right sound
That could make you hear, make you see
That you are drivin’ me out of my mind
There’s so much more, but my respect for intellectual property laws prevents me from posting it.
“From a Distance”
“God Bless the USA”
And I’d like to second “I’ve Never Been to Me”
“Coast to Coast, LA to Chicago…”
…think about it.
[Fred Willard, Waiting for Guffman]
We consider ourselves bi-coastal, if you consider the Mississippi River one of the coasts.
[/Fred Willard, Waiting for Guffman]
More insipidity…“I’m So Glad” By Cream…“I’m so glad, I’m so glad, I’m glad I’m glad I’m glad” But then again, Eric Clapton is the King of Insipid-ness.
Well, since he left the Yardbirds anyhoo.
Jon
If there’s a King of insipidness, I think it has to be McCartney. Although I guess you could come back by saying “Clapton is god.” 
Oh, and Clapton didn’t write I’m So Glad. It’s by bluesman Skip James.
Hahaha yeah.
Insipid is such a great word. There’s a FLA band The Beltones that have a song called “Insipid Sedentary Girl” that is anything but insipid.
Jon
Hmmm, I probably should have known that, but I didn’t. It’s still …uh…insipid, although I’d be willing to bet the original is much less so.
Jon
“The Greatest Love of All” by Whitney Houston…not so much because it is insipid and annoying, but because it is clearly inaccurate. You know how the song starts out:
I believe the children are our future;
Teach them well and let them lead the way.
Show them all the beauty they possess inside…
So far, a fairly straightforward evocation of romantic idealism. But then we get to the line where she asserts:
No matter what they take from me,
They can’t take away my dignity…
This claim, I submit, is obviously false. Right off the top of my head, I can think of several dozen ways to take away Whitney Houston’s dignity. What if they abduct her, paint her skin bright blue, and dress her up like Smurfette? What if they hire a team of muppeteers to follow her around with a life-size marionette that looks like her and mimics everything she does? What if they publish and distribute copies of her high school diary, in which she confesses in embarrassing detail her infatuation with Peter Tork? What if they drop her off in the middle of Times Square, completely naked except for two wooden toy ducks tied around her ankles?
Part of the problem is that she never really specifies who “they” are, so it’s kind of hard to gauge the resources they would be able to employ to take away her dignity. The song seems to imply that “they” have the power to take other things from her, though, so it seems reasonable to assume that they are operating on a level comparable to a well-funded government agency or corporation. Even if “they” turn out to have an extremely limited budget, however, there are plenty of penny-conscious ways to take away someone’s dignity. They could post Photoshopped pictures of her in bed with Adam Sandler. They could covertly switch her shampoo with a depilatory cream, or give her some of that novelty toothpaste that turns your teeth black. They could place an invisibly fine string in front of her door, right at face level, so every time she leaves the house she does that little spastic spiderweb dance. They could mail all her friends bootleg copies of that Kevin Costner movie she starred in, or that one episode of “Gimme a Break!” she was in way back when.
If she is scheduled to attend a meeting of record company executives, someone could sneak in a few minutes ahead of time and tape a small cassette recorder to the underside of her chair, then hit “PLAY;” the cassette would have 20 minutes or so of silence (long enough for everyone to get seated and the meeting to start), and then a really loud fart sound would erupt from Whitney Houston’s chair. Presto, instant lack of dignity.
What makes you think you’re so special, Whitney Houston? Do you have such faith in the unassailable quality of your dignity that you must needs challenge people to rob you of it? Where I come from, that’s called hubris. Trust me, I’m an expert on the subject of lost dignity.
Insiped and a curent Geiko comercial so I have to fucking hear it all the time:
“Sometimes when we touch
The honesty’s too much
And I have to close my eyes and cry.
I wanna hold you till I die.
Till we both break down and cry.
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides…”
Boy, does he sound like a fun date.
And the distubing thing is these are not the worst part of the lyrics.
And that it is apparently “I wanna hold you till I die.”
Speaking of Ex Beatles, what about George Harrison? It doesn’t get much more insipid than “Crackerbox Palace” Hahaha…I could see some Gansta rap band coming out with a version caled “Crackabox Palace”.
Men Without Hats’ “Saftey Dance” was both annoying AND insipid. That band had some really good stuff for its time, but they got dismissed as a novelty act because of that song.
The all time most annoying and insipid song of all time, not counting Bon Jovi, is Bob Seger’s “Turn The Page” OK Bob, you’re already well on the road to stardom by this point, your probably putting tons of cash up your nose and getting laid by different women every night and you expect us to feel sorry for you because you’re lonley and people can’t tell if your a boy or a girl. Jesus Bob, this was 1972, nobody was hassling people for long hair by then, and as far as being strung out from the road, well then why didn’t you quit and take a job at one of those Ford plants you love so much. Jesus I hate rock starts bitching about how rough it is to be a rock star. I would give my left testicle to be you Bob, MY LEFT FUCKING TESTICLE!!! And you’re whining about how bad it is? Trade places with ME, fucker.
Um…sorry 
Jon
Did I mention how that sax at the beginning of that song makes my skin crawl everytime I hear it…