Fatboy Slim - Fucking in Heaven:
“Fatboy Slim is fucking in heaven
Fatboy Slim is fucking in heaven
Fatboy Slim is fucking in heaven
Fucking and fucking and fucking in heaven”
Prodigy - Smack My Bitch Up:
“Change my pitch up
Smack my bitch up
Change my pitch up
Smack my bitch up”
OK, those were cheap shots. 
Maybe you’d find the song less insipid, but I’m pretty sure the words are the same.
Muskrat Love. Captain and Tenielle.
This is about all I can remember. Thank god.
“Muskrat Susie, Muskrat Sam
Do the jitterbug in muskrat land
And they wiggle
Sue starts to giggle.”
Retch.
No question McCartney has sappiness issues, but don’t forget about John’s “Dear Yoko”:
Oh Yoko
I’m never, ever, ever, ever, ever gonna let you go
Oh Yoko
I’m never, ever, ever, ever, ever gonna let you go
On second thought, do forget about John’s “Dear Yoko,” then let me how you did it.
Giving credit where it’s due: Mac Davis wrote it, about his son Scotty. Goldsboro just happens to sing insipid songs.
I really like Soundgarden’s music, but damned if their lyrics make any sense, grammatically or otherwise.
She’s a brick and I’m drowning slowly
Off the coast, and I’m headed nowhere.
And I second From a Distance, the basic message of which is “Oh, baby, it’s not that God doesn’t care about us, it’s just that…well…he’s nearsighted is all.”
Terrifel, priceless, you should get some sorta award for that 
Mr2001, it’s “chance my pitch up” I’m practically sure. Now bow down and worship the track as the visionary masterpiece it is.
Terrifel, I think the last decade of Ms. Houston’s life has pretty much taken away her dignity, no outside help required. 
Here’s my sorry contribution:
Pilot of the Airwaves
Here is my request.
You don’t have to play it but I hope you do your best.
I’ve been listening to your show on the radio,
And you seem like a friend to me.
Not that I’m disagreeing or nothin’, but aren’t you kinda shootin fish in a barrel? Lets make it harder: Give me pop lyrics that aren’t insipid
Well, yes, but you have to give them some credit considering English is their second language.
We have people who have (presumably) been speaking English their entire lives who have turned out much worse:
“The Girl is Mine” by Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney is one shining example.
I picture “the girl” running off in horror while the two men duke it out in the most testosterone-deprived battle you’ll ever witness. (“No, man, she’s mine.” “I beg to differ with you, my friend. She’s mine.”) Makes me yearn for the days when men were fighters not lovers. Just ONE sucker punch and the song could mercifully be over.
I nominate Bill Lovelady’s only hit, the godawful One more reggae for the road, for it’s terrible, terrible rhymes:
She came from Madrid,
just a crazy kid
Met her down in Cadiz
Think you know where that is
And:
I was sprawled across the table
And making love to a Spanish Betty Garble
It hurts my fingers copy+pasting it.
Google hits for “change my pitch up”: 511
Google hits for “chance my pitch up”: 0
Neither line really makes sense in context (what there is of it), but I can at least imagine “change my pitch up” referring to a telemarketer altering his script, or getting kicked in the groin. What would chancing one’s pitch up entail?
Surely a contender has to be that early-90s “song” by 2 Unlimited (2 Untalented?), “No Limit.” A representative sample of the lyrics:
“No no, no no no no, no no no no, no no there’s no limit!”
“Techno techno techno techno!”
And the damn song was everywhere in England in late '92. Made you want to scoop out your brains with a spoon.
*Wo wo wo wo
Wo wo wo wo
My love does it good
With a little luck, we can lay it down.
Can’t you feel the town (time?) exploding?..
The willow turns his back on inclement weather;
And if he can do it, we can do it, just me and you
Maybe I’m amazed at the way you pulled me out in time
And hung me on the line
Bip bop, bip bip bop
Bip bop, bip bip band*
That’s about all I can take.
Avril Lavigne’s lyrics to Sk8ter Boi has got to be some of the most insipid annoying lyrics ever created. Also, Justin Timberlake’s Gone has some really annoying simplistic lyrics.
Or, for that matter, any lyrics by Jim Morrison. I hate to beat up on a dead guy, but boy did he ever suck. And it seemed like every third dorm room when I was going to college had a poster of Morrison with the caption “AMERICAN POET.” Hmmm, well I guess you do have to give him credit for being able to rhyme “fire” with “fire.”
Look out, Maya Angelou!
It’s amazing that we’ve gotten this far without mention of Neil Diamond’s abomination, I Am I Said, the most famous lines of which are:
I am I said
To no one there.
And no one heard at all
Not even the chair.
These are considered by many to be the worst lines ever composed in the English language. Yet I humbly propose that another part of the same song is even worse. I submit:
*Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed of bein’ a king
And then became one?
Well except for the names and a few other changes
I you talk about me, the story’s the same one.
*
So you see, except for the part about being a frog and becoming a king, that’s Neil all the way. This is similar to how the story of my life is exactly like that of Abraham Lincoln, who grew up in a log cabin and became President of the United States . . . except for the part about the log cabin, becoming President, and being named “Abraham Lincoln.”
Of course, there is always the classic by WHAM!
I’m never gonna dance again.
Guilty feet have got no rhythm.
Kind of makes you wonder where this guy’s feet have been.
I mentioned this song under the “worst song ever recorded” thread. Didn’t want to be redundant. But yes, those lyrics are just horrible. Another one to think about is Bob Seager’s “Blame it on Midnight.” Particularly the timelessly horrible line: “Until you’ve been beside a man, you don’t know who he knows.”