So whats your most embarrassing moment? This came to my mind since my wife and I were asking each other this question. I won.
The time I went to work… and I wasn’t wearing any pants. I honestly didn’t put them on.
I had a “rough” night before, and when I got dressed the following day, I only put on my boxers. I guess I must of thought they felt like shorts and that was good enough. Needless to say when I realized after I got to work (I was there for almost an hour) I was pretty embarrassed. Luckily it was a Saturday and I only served 1 customer (my lower 1/2 was hidden by the counter). I went home “to get dressed” when a co-worker arrived.
I was in college and it was one of the first really nice days of spring. Everyone was outside playing frisbee, thowing a football around, throwing water balloons, chatting, etc…
I was wearing a t-shirt and trunk swim shorts and was standing in front of the Alpha Phi sorority house chatting with the ladies. There were maybe 12 women sitting in a circle on the grass in front of their house and I was standing at the edge of the circle. One of my friends comes by and yanks my shorts down around my ankles.
Unfortunately he assumed I was wearing regular shorts (they looked like regular shorts) and thought I’d still have my underwear on. Given that they were actually swim shorts the liner is sewed in and I had no underwear on.
Worse still, the string of the swimsuit had been tied fairly tight so when I tried to yank my shorts up I couldn’t get them past my waist. I’m now hopping up and down and spinning in circles slowly wiggling my shorts past my hips (not to mention other body parts that were ‘hanging’ over the edge of the shorts and hindering me as well). I was spinning because I couldn’t decide whether I should give the ladies a full frontal shot or moon them.
After what seemed an eternity I eventually managed to get my shorts back in place.
As an aside I eventually got my friend back. He was getting pinned to his girlfriend (sort of like being engaged to be engaged). By tradition he was to be tied to the boat anchor (big anchor) in front of the Delta Gamma sorority house and stripped. Lucky for him he was somehwat of a tough guy so his threats of bodily harm to anyone who stripped him past his boxer shorts was taken seriously so it looked as if he was going to get off lightly. Unluckily for him I showed up and he had a well defined sense of fair play. While he could have easily beaten me to a pulp he realized I owed him one and didn’t threaten me with a thing when I removed his boxers for the benefit of the ladies of the DG sorority house.
I was pulling an second consecutive All-nighter at college for a chemistry test at 10:30 AM. About 8 I figured I my brain was full, so the next trick was trying to stay awake. I figured a little execise might be the trick, so I headed down th the CCRB(central campus rec building) to grab a couple games of basketball before the test. Went down to The lockerroom, and found-out that the guy hadn’t showed up yet, so the locker room s weren’t open. I was forced to throw my stuff in the little quick lockers in the main hallway. I played for about 1.5 hours, then decided it was time to get to the test. I went back to my locker. “Hmm shirts real sweaty, gotta change that. Shorts nasty too, good thing I always keep a clean set in my backpack for just such an occasion. Damn my Drawers are kinda sweaty too, not gonna be confortable for a 3 hour final, gotta ditch those, I’m sure I have some clean ones in here somewhere.” At this point I hear a door open behind me and a surprised kind of female ‘uurrrp’ which interupts my little inner dialogue and I suddenly remember my locker wasn’t in the locker room, but instead in the hallway, and I therefore must be standing sweaty-bare-ass nekid bent over looking through my backpack in the main hallway of the CCRB. I redressed with as much dignity and speed as I could, turned and walk down the hallway, up the stairs, and out the front door without ever allowing my eyes to focus on anybody.
Mine came while at a convention. A group of us decided to head to the hotel’s hot tub and pool. Well, I hadn’t packed a swimsuit. I thought about and figured I’d grab a pair of boxers, since I wasn’t going to be doing too much.
If only I stopped thinking there.
Nope, my brain had to keep going on a track that didn’t go to the right destination.
Let’s see, the pool (and possibly hot tub) are going to be chlorinated, but I don’t want my stuff running and fading too much. Hmm…
Oh yeah…what could fade less than something that’s…
From the snickering in the back of the room I think a few of you have guess where this is going.
…fade less than something that’s mostly white!
I didn’t even think about the translucentify-ing (Yay! Have I coined a new term?) effect of water on white cloth. Didn’t dawn on me until one of the group pointed it out to me there.
When I was five, I fell into the pond during my Aunt Wendy and Uncle Roger’s wedding (they were married outdoors in a big park).
In addition to the humiliation of living out the rest of that day, my parents told and retold that story to every house guest we entertained for the next ten or so years, ensuring that I would remain forever humble.
Pete
Long time RGMWer and ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!!
When I was in first grade, we had a pageant. I still remember the brown and tan checked polyester pants I wore (no, that’s not the embarassing part!). But I must’ve had quite a bit of juice before going…er, “going” onstage.
The next year, again during the pageant, I recited a poem dressed as a rabbit…I was SOOOO cute!..but my ears kept flopping down, in spite of the wire hanger my mother put in them to keep them up. My teacher decided to stand behind me and hold them up. Well, I was very…emotive. At one point, to be dramatic, I flung my arms open wide and…belted my teacher in the gut.
Last but not least, 8 (9?) years ago, at my best friends’ wedding, I was a groomsman. It was my first time in a tux. Beautiful wedding, outside in the Arboretum at UNC-CH. My ex-GF was there, and innocently asked me what the little buckles on the sides of the pants were for. I didn’t have a clue, but being the BS artist that I am, said “well, they’re so you can hook your thumbs through them and stand around looking cool,” and proceeded to show her. Little did I know that if you hook your thumbs through those little buckles, they open, your pants loosen and fall down. It’s kind of hard to look cool when you’re hopping behind a bush to pull your pants up.