or how hardygrrl lost her pants at work…
Monday, I’m wearing these pants that are a little loose in the waist. I should have worn a belt, but that would require foresight.
I get up to make a coffee run, unwittingly catch the hem on my heel and when I stand up…
My pants go down. Only to about 3/4 the way down my ass, and I had panties on. Only two people saw, but to quote the old shampoo commercial…
Two people saw my ass, and they told two friends, and they told two friends, and so on…
By the end of the day I been asked if I had the Monday Panties on, told it was a surprise I wore panties and christened the BBB…Black Bikini Bombshell
So, while you may have not shown your coworkers your undergarments, at least not by accident, what have you done?
I once punched a pregnant co-worker.
At one of my former jobs, I worked with computer tapes. There were hundred of thousands of tapes. Every night, we would have to pick out ones that the data was expired on, and fill the tape drives so new data could be put on them. This involved thousands of tapes. Anyway we were having a contest to see who could get more of the tapes on the cart, to bring them out to the drives. I had well over 1000 on this one cart, which would have been a record. I’m wheeling the cart out to the computer floor, and hit a pen that had fallen on the floor. That was enough to get the tapes to start tipping, and like a giant tidal wave they began to fall to the floor. The noise it made was tremenous. It was right in front of all the computer terminals, so everyone saw. Even people on the other side of the room, which is huge and noisey, heard. It was shift change, so twice as many people were there. And I was the boss. We were finding tapes for months under the floor, and under tape drives. That was 5 years ago. I now work in the same building for a different company, and people still bring it up to me.
I hate to make this sound like “my story is better than yours” hardygrrl, but here goes anyway.
I had a pair of pants stolen at work. They were my bike rainpants (ie spandex and goretex), and they were hanging in a closet to dry-- at the end of the day I get ready to go home, and they’re gone!
So I overreact and fire off an email to the entire company saying how despicable the person is who stole my pants. And the next day the offender comes forward and apologizes.
Turns out he thought they were his pair (even though he walked that day), and took them home-- but first he sent out an email to everyone in the company saying he had them.
The jokes about why he wanted to get in my pants petered out to a trickle after 3 months…
I recently had an interesting one.
Someone posted a backdoor to MSN Communities sites on another board I frequent. This basically allowed you to look at a random image from someone’s private webspace - very entertaining, you get everything from family portraits to bizarre homemade porn. Anyway, someone posted a link to some funny pictures he downloaded from this site, but they were in .bmp format - I couldn’t just view them with my browser, I had to open the file with ACDSee. I clicked on one and it started downloading, slowly. My boss came by my desk to go over my performance review so I covered up my windows with the database program we use. While he was talking to me the .bmp finished downloading, and apparently ACDSee, unlike my webbrowser, will automatically pop to the top of your windows when the image is finished loading.
While my boss is talking to me a big picture of old men performing oral sex on each other shows up on my screen. Boss says ‘Woah’. I explained I had no idea what that image was when I clicked on it, but it was still embarassing.
The most embarassing, though, was a few years ago. One of my female coworkers would frequently get very erect nipples that were clearly visible through whatever she was wearing. One of her friends joked about it, would say ‘Stacey is breastacular today’. I noticed that Stacey was breastacular, but I couldn’t recall what the word her friend used for that, so I sent a popup message to her saying ‘What was it you called Stacey when she is ‘pointy’? Nippleriffic?’
Except I accidentally sent the message to everyone in the call center.
God, I get that heavy feeling in my chest just remembering it, and it was over 2 years ago.
I work for a publishing company, and all our pubs are given four-letter codes – not quite acronyms, but have something to do with the pub. ABOV is for Aboveground Storage Tanks, PLAN for a book about 401(k) plans … and HAND for Section 504, which deals with handicapped access. I was working on something for HAND when someone came into my office asking if I could help out on another project, and I stupidly replied “sure, just as soon as I finish this HAND job.” That got repeated, well, repeatedly.
Imagine this scene…
Zanshin is just out of school, 21 years old and green as a fresh-cut stick. He’s just obtained his first professional position as an environmental engineer at a firm in Milwaukee. First day on the job, he’s filling out his paperwork and reading employee manuals, all the fun stuff you usually do your first day at a new job. The boss asks him to run across the street and pick up some supplies at the office supply place. Zanshin and one of his co-workers leave the building to go pick up the supplies. This being his first real job, Zanshin is extremely self-conscious and eager to make a good impression.
Walking outside to the sidewalk, Zanshin does not notice that the curb at the edge of the sidewalk is freshly poured cement (and of course doesn’t see all the signs and warning tape), and steps RIGHT the hell into it. Sinks all the way up to his knee. Brand new slacks – ruined. One of his brand-new wingtips – ruined. Co-worker almost falls over with the force of his laughter.
Had to walk around the rest of the day with cement coating his right leg to the knee. Endured many Mafia (‘Hey, aren’t they supposed to give you TWO of those when they throw you in the river?’) jokes for the rest of the day. In the immortal words of Popeye, “How embarraskin’.”
Nothing like starting your professional career off on the right foot, as it were.
way back in the back of beyond, when computers were huge things in air conditioned rooms, I was hanging around in said room waiting for a job to come out. I saw a gold dome on the ceiling and asked the operator what it was. He replied that it was a fire sensor. I asked how sensitive it was. He said he didn’t know. I said (like a jerk), “Let’s see.” and put my palm on the sensor.
Of course the alarm went off. The entire building evacuated.
And I was known as “Hot Hands dlb” for the rest of the summer.
Geez, makes my “coming out of the ladies room with my skirt tucked into my pantyhose and running into the Director” story seem a bit tame!
I was working as a pipefitter in a very remote section of Wyoming on a natural gas plant construction job. I went into the office trailer to order a new part and was talking to the boss. During the conversation I said “If I don’t get to town this weekend and find something to do I’ll probably kill myself.” One second later, after seeing the pained look on the boss’s face, I remembered that one of his best friends had committed suicide within the last week. I still get pains thinking about that verbal slip.
I just started a new job on the west coast. My supervisor and I saw an ad for a seminar on how to manage money. I went to it and he asked me about it the next day. For some reason I said “it was a waste of time, the presenter was just like a Mormon used car salesman”. Later on I found out he was a Mormon.
Coming from the east coast I had never known any Mormons, and obviously had some prejudices. Now that I know a bunch of LDSers I realize how stupid my comment was.
Mine was the classic email forwarding gambit. The number two man in our company got his daughter a summer job with the company. She and I would flirt back and forth. One day, he sent an email to the whole company announcing that a person had been let go. Well, the person let go was my arch-nemesis, the thorn in my side for 3 years. Naturally, I was pretty happy to hear this. So, I sent his daughter an email saying “Your dad kicks ass!” and went on to say how I hated the guy he fired. Then I started the flirty stuff, asking her what she was wearing, and then trying to set up a date for that night.
I had hit reply to the email, and sent the message back to her father. Luckily it didn’t go to the whole company. I didn’t realize it at first, but had a nagging feeling something wasn’t right. I checked the “sent email” folder and saw what I had done. I screamed to my coworkers that I had well and truly f*cked up this time. I sent him an email apologizing for the email, that I didn’t mean any disrespect, that it was all a joke. Before I sent it,though, he sent me an email that just said “I don’t think you meant to send this to me.”
I told his daughter what happened and she laughed and laughed. As did my coworkers. I couldn’t look at the father for 3 months. The next day, the daughter said they had talked about it on the way home. She said he said “I always knew that guy was a f*cking idiot.”
I’d just moved to a new company to help as an on-site consultant. I was setting up new workstations and had to go into a routing closet to check network connections. Through with my work in there, I turned to leave and realized I was locked in the closet, well off the beaten path of any co-workers. All my yells and attempts to jimmy the door were for naught. I could have been there for days before anybody noticed.
So I began unhooking phone lines.
Finally, enough of the company’s communications network was disabled that a group came to investigate what in the Sam hell was going on. Don’t let anyone tell you that comming out of the closet isn’t humiliating as heck.
I actually went to work (and worked for a while) with no pants. I never put them on when I got dressed.
Swear to god its true.
I woke up very late for an important job interview, and like most times when you’re late for something, everything else in the world conspires to go horribly awry. I was leaving the house after a hurried shower-and-makeup session, and I tripped on my way to the car. I didn’t go down, but I did stumble. Got into the car and drove like mad, ensuring that I’d hit every red light on the way. Went into the building and got onto the elevator when I stumbled again, lurching into a (fortunately) kind woman who merely steadied me by grabbing my arm.
I get into the interview room with SECONDS to spare. I do some deep breathing, sit down in the chair across from the interviewer, cross my legs demurely and see that I have on one navy blue shoe and one black shoe – and it’s not like they were identical except for color. Nope, the black one is a plain pump, and the navy blue one has a gold buckle and a heel about a helf-inch higher than the black one.
I didn’t get the job, which was a Good Thing, because I don’t think I ever could have faced those people again.
I hope you carpool. They’d get my vote for comedians of the year.
My first job was at a family run company, as the secretary to the company president. His son, who was a few years older than me, would occasionally make a “prank” call to the office. I think he thought this was funny, but it annoyed the heck out of me.
So anyway, one day I get an obviously prank phone call from someone claiming to be Howard Cosell. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and I yelled at him and then slammed the phone down.
Of course, as luck would have it, it actually was Howard Cosell. Turns out that he knew my boss from years and years ago. Yikes. Who would have thunk that Howard Cosell would sound exactly like Howard Cosell?
Only if you’re a woman, if you are a man that story needs more details
Gee, how about an hour ago?
The husband talked me into a little afternoon workplace nookie this afternoon, and while we’re on the couch, the boss calls in. Did I mention that I work for his mom?
I guess it could have been worse, she could have walked in…
I leave my office and realize that I left something. In the few seconds that took, my boss had gone back into his office (he had to go through my office to get to his). I didn’t realize he was there, and came back in singing “Dream a Little Dream of Me.” He about busted a gut laughing when I got to the “Say nighty-night and kiss me…” line.