And his successor Vespasian’s: “Vae, puto, deus fio!” – “Oh, woe! I think I am becoming a god!”
“Bugger Bognor.” - The last words of King George V, who had just been advised to visit the seaside resort of Bognor Regis for his health. (The London Times diplomatically reported his last words as “How is the Empire?”)
As Nelson lay dying he gazed up at his friend and murmered “Kiss me, Hardy”
His friend looked down at him and replied “Kiss your what?”
The story is that a dying Adams (on July 4, 1826 – the date on which the fiftieth anniversary of the USA’s independence was celebrated) proclaimed: “Jefferson still survives.” While Adams did indeed mention his longtime rival, the exact quote is a matter of debate and speculation.
Jefferson, however, had not survived…he preceded Adams into death by a few hours. But both made it to July 4th.
This is my favorite.
“goodbye, sir … or is it au revoir”
“No, Perkins”
General John Sedgewick, screaming at his men for retreating, just before being shot through the eye at the Battle of Spottsylvania
“French Canadian bean soup!”
– Dutch Schultz
Dammit. You beat me to it. I also like the part about “A boy never wept…nor dashed a thousand kim.” Or “kin,” depending on whose account you read.
“Top o’ the World ma. Top o’ the World”…Jimmy Cagney in that film I forget the title of :smack:
I had a roommate who had nothing good to say about my girlfriend (later my wife). So much so that I decided to move in with her, in part, so that I didn’t have to hear him bad-mouth her any more.
As I walked out the door with the last of my stuff he said, “Well, you know what I think…”.
I cut him off with, “Carl, I am monumentally unconcerned with what you think.” That shut him up.
I still don’t know how I came up with a witty retort on a moments notice. That may be the only time I ever managed such a feat.
For last words I submit my father’s. I arrived from out of state when he was already on his deathbed. He had for some time been only occasionally lucid. When he saw me walk in he kind of perked up a bit and said sarcastically, “Are you still here?”
I gaped.
He, quite deliberately, winked. Then his eyes went swimmy and unfocused.
A few hours later he was there again for a moment. He looked pained and said, “My nose.” I saw that his oxygen thingy had pulled to one side and was stretching his nostril. I fixed it and he said, “Thanks.”
A few hours more and he was gone.
I prefer to think of his earlier joke as his final words. Its the quintessential example of just the weird kind of sense of humor I grew up with.
My mother’s last words to me -
“I don’t want him in here.”
Of course, she was whacked off her gourd on drugs and it’s possible she didn’t recognise me. Still, I’m not likely to forget them ones in a hurry!
mm
Another version has it as, “How is the vampire?” – Referring to Wallis Simpson, the American who had snared his eldest son Edward.
This made me smile a little - I understand that kind of humor very well.
When my Mom, a mouthy, feisty Italian lady, died last year, she spent her last few days drifting in and out of consciousness and moaning. She was obviously trying to talk, but not managing. We were all sitting with her, holding her hands and making the kind of useless chatter meant to be reassuring or comforting. Stuff like, “It’s OK, you’re all right, we’re all here” and so on. Suddenly, eyes still closed, she stopped tossing and turning in the bed, raised her right hand in a very typical Italian gesture (all fingers and thumb together, like a tulip) and said, clear as a bell, “But can you shut up just ONE minute?” We busted out laughing, but we quieted down to let her talk. There was a bit more moaning, then she went unconscious again. She never came out of that, and died two days later.
But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?
Say hello to my leeetle friend. - Tony Montana
“I feel fine.” --“Pistol” Pete Maravich
“I regret that I have but one asterisk for my country.” --Nathan Hale’s grammar teacher.
I’ll never forget the last thing my grandfather said…
“Truck!”
*Any resemblance to an Emo Phillips routine is strictly coincidental.
Oh how I miss the old Hecklers.com website. It used to do flash animations of famous last words.
My favourites were
Frank Sinatra in intensive care…“I’ve got *tubes * under my skin.”
Jeffery Dahmer in prison between two burly inmates, one black and one white… “I like white *and * dark meat.”
And of course Michael Hutchence standing on a chair, naked, with a belt round his throat whapping one off… “I better watch out. I could go blind from this.” ::slips::