Because you’ve developed telepathy, the government has kidnapped you and taken you to a secret location deep within the earth’s mantle so as to better study your burgeoning powers. It’s expensive to get fresh ingredients down there, so you’re being served a lot of bland, institutional food.
Your telepathic offers haven’t yet gotten to the point where you can leverage an escape. The best you can do is arrange for a shipment of a few bottles of hot sauce on the next Mega-Drill Transport, leaving Surface Station Alpha XII in a few days.
So: what hot sauces are, in your opinion, the absolute best and most broadly applicable for not just spicing mild dishes, but flavoring bland ones?
edit: need answer fast - the guard rotations here are tricky
Blair’s Mega Death for the hot end of the spectrum. There are hotter hot sauces but none that taste so good. You’d want to drink it straight except that it would melt your teeth and vaporize all the flesh from around your jawbone and stuff.
El Yucateco red and green for the midzone. Kicky and tasty in different ways.
Tabasco Chipotle for the smoke.
Plain old regular Tabasco for the vinegar with mild burn.
Cholula with lime for mild warm without as much vinegar and the extra bit from the lime.
Tabasco (regular) and Louisiana Hot Sauce
El Yucateco Caribbean and Kutbil-ik
Secret Aardvark Habanero (this is a new entry, thanks to silenus)
Nando’s Extra Hot Peri Peri
Cholula
Those seven would keep me plenty happy. I’d probably put Yellowbird Habanero on there as well, but I already have three habanero hot sauces listed.
Pickapeppa
Chili garlic sauce (it’s red and, I think, Southeast Asian)
Anything with chile canario (slightly bigger than habanero, and almost as spicy)
Well, here’s the thrust of my question: is there, for you guys, a difference between your favorite overall hot sauces and your favorite hot sauce for my hypothetical scenario?
No love here for Frank’s RedHot? I put that stuff on everything. It is, in my opinion, the absolute best and most broadly applicable for not just spicing mild dishes, but flavoring bland ones.
The only thing I use Frank’s for is chicken wings. I’m not sure why I don’t really like it in any other application, as it’s similar to other cayenne or tabasco-based vinegary hot sauces that I like, but I just don’t.
Not really. My list was tweaked for variety of base dishes, but that’s about it. If I have Secret Aardvark, a Yellowbird and Crystal, I’m good for 90+% of what I eat. Assuming bland institutional food per the OP, those three would just about cover all the bases. The only modification I’d make is to take TriPolar’s idea of a sweet Thai chili sauce and add it to the list to pep up starches and vegetables.
In no particular order:
Cholula
Huy Fong Sriracha
Tabasco Chipotle
Nando’s Peri Peri
Grace medium jerk seasoning, because the hot is pretty outrageous for everyday use.
Thai sweet chili or Jufran Banana sauce.
Colour me happy. And yes, she does have a nice butt…pervert.