Most Hated Commercials, Holiday Edition

[Green_Bean]

@leahcim

I suddenly see a use for these brown diamonds.

I love you and want to marry you.

But please don’t buy me a poop-colored diamond ring, okay?

@SmartAleq

Shut your cunting arseflap, you insufferable tiny dickcheese.

Best ad I’ve seen all season!

[kayaker]

@SmartAleq

Shut your cunting arseflap, you insufferable tiny dickcheese.

Word.

I mighta included “mouthbreather” in there somehow, if I could find a way to do it elegantly.

[Honey]

@DrDeth

There’s no indication of incest at all there.

I thought I was missing something. Glad I’m not the only one.

[Inner_Stickler]

@Honey

I thought I was missing something. Glad I’m not the only one.

I assume that it stems from the average doper’s general misanthropy. They’ve never seen healthy familial relationships modeled before and can only contextualize it in a sexual manner.

[Son_of_a_Rich]

Lady Gaga, wearing some sort of flaring ass baring skirt, meets Tony Bennett in a book shop. 10 times an hour.

[Rick_Kitchen]

I love Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett.

And hey, at least she isn’t wearing a meat dress.

[Kimballkid]

The girl can sing and actually play an instrument so she beats 90% of the other musicians out there.

[Drunky_Smurf]

@Inner_Stickler

I assume that it stems from the average doper’s general misanthropy. They’ve never seen healthy familial relationships modeled before and can only contextualize it in a sexual manner.

Dopers are the worstest.

[TroutMan]

Just saw the H&M ad with Katy Perry. Holy WTF. I need eye- and ear-bleach after that.

[Finagle]

I’m feeling unusually depressed and lonely lately, so all those damned commercials with young beautiful people flinging diamonds at each other as symbols of their love for their bestest friend are getting on my last nerve. Not really the fault of the commercials, but I sure could do without them, alas.

[WolfpackJeep]

I’ve never seen a brother and sister – particularly of that age – act that way around each other. And given what pops up when you type “folgers brother sister commercial” into Google, our fellow Dopers aren’t the only ones creeped out by it.

[JRDelirious]

Diamonds schmiamonds, yeah, those are a pain.

OTOH, hey, the Kathy Perry H&M vid is not bad. It’s what you’d expect a Kathy Perry Christmas clip to look like.

@Starving_Artist

LOL’d at one of the comments:

Dad: “Honey, I think the kids are fucking again.”
Mom: “Who cares, I smell coffee.”

Well, whatever remote site he was coming back from, that had him swooning over Folgers as being “real coffee”, probably his sister is looking pretty good to him by now, too.

Yes, we are all a buncha sick perverts. Get in the handbasket.

[Miller]

@DrDeth

See, a perfect example of why nothing should be in the pit, since this sort of infantile hijack will occur, often multiple times.

Hey, dickhead. If you don’t like the Pit, you are more than welcome to fuck off to another forum - or even better, an entirely different website altogether. I doubt there’s a single poster on this board who would miss your execrable brand of smug idiocy, your constitutional inability to recognize simple humor, or your constant attempts to troll people by trying to dictate what’s an “acceptable” way to discuss something you saw on TV. You are, in general, one of the dimmest, dullest, dampest posters we’ve ever had the misfortune to grace our electrons here, and I, personally, cannot wait for the day I never have to see another one of your moist little nuggets of what tragically passes as thought in your tiny - and largely solid - skull, you insipid, mouth-breathing shitbag.

[Helena330]

Continuing with the jewelry theme, PANDORA. I’m convinced those commercials are aimed at guys who don’t know what to buy for their women. That stuff is UGLY. A charm bracelet would cover many gift-giving occasions. Oh, joy!

The cat in the one small-citrus commercial is misunderstood. He’s not pissed because the kid didn’t get a tangerine. That’s just stupid. He’s pissed because the kid’s holding him like a sack of shit and has misdirected his anger.

[DoggyDunnit]

@Miller

Hey, dickhead. If you don’t like the Pit, you are more than welcome to fuck off to another forum - or even better, an entirely different website altogether. I doubt there’s a single poster on this board who would miss your execrable brand of smug idiocy, your constitutional inability to recognize simple humor, or your constant attempts to troll people by trying to dictate what’s an “acceptable” way to discuss something you saw on TV. You are, in general, one of the dimmest, dullest, dampest posters we’ve ever had the misfortune to grace our electrons here, and I, personally, cannot wait for the day I never have to see another one of your moist little nuggets of what tragically passes as thought in your tiny - and largely solid - skull, you insipid, mouth-breathing shitbag.

And this, folks, boils down to a great “SDMB version” of what is perhaps the most famous scene from Billy Madison.

Brilliant, Miller. Brilliant.

[Svejk_1]

@Miller

Hey, dickhead. If you don’t like the Pit, you are more than welcome to fuck off to another forum - or even better, an entirely different website altogether. I doubt there’s a single poster on this board who would miss your execrable brand of smug idiocy, your constitutional inability to recognize simple humor, or your constant attempts to troll people by trying to dictate what’s an “acceptable” way to discuss something you saw on TV. You are, in general, one of the dimmest, dullest, dampest posters we’ve ever had the misfortune to grace our electrons here, and I, personally, cannot wait for the day I never have to see another one of your moist little nuggets of what tragically passes as thought in your tiny - and largely solid - skull, you insipid, mouth-breathing shitbag.

Brought a tear to my eye that post did. You’ve rekindled my love affair with message boards!

[Charlie_Tan]

@Miller

Hey, dickhead. If you don’t like the Pit, you are more than welcome to fuck off to another forum - or even better, an entirely different website altogether. I doubt there’s a single poster on this board who would miss your execrable brand of smug idiocy, your constitutional inability to recognize simple humor, or your constant attempts to troll people by trying to dictate what’s an “acceptable” way to discuss something you saw on TV. You are, in general, one of the dimmest, dullest, dampest posters we’ve ever had the misfortune to grace our electrons here, and I, personally, cannot wait for the day I never have to see another one of your moist little nuggets of what tragically passes as thought in your tiny - and largely solid - skull, you insipid, mouth-breathing shitbag.

Now THIS is how to rant, kiddos. Bookmark this beauty for future reference.

/back to lurk and snark mode

[botsgotme]

I actually like the one about the Whooping Cough immunization-the loving grandparents transformed into wolves is cool.

[hajario]

@kaylasdad99

Oh, piffle. It’s fairly obvious that the Pitizens have taken this thread to their hearts, and what you’re calling “hijacks” are simply attempts to render it unsuitable for CS or MPSIMS.

It’s like if you want to leave the lunchroom at work to go unjam the copier for the boss*, but you don’t want anyone to steal your cupcake. So you make sure everyone sees you licking the frosting.

*because in this analogy, bosses are helpless morons who need the simplest tasks handled for them.

Good lord, you’re useless. Why can’t people have a Pit thread like that if they want? It doesn’t stop anyone from starting a new one in CS.

[Knowed_Out]

The TV ads for TJ Maxx plus a couple of other clothing chains, don’t remember which…

They announce they’ll be closed on Thanksgiving, because they believe in the sanctity of the holiday and the importance of families having time together.

What utter horseshit! They’re trying to pass themselves off as good, caring, and supportive of family values instead of being greedy capitalist consumer magnet pig troughs. “Aw, let’s shop here. They care about families!” I must puke now.