“Feliz Navidad” By Boney M, aw to hell with it any Christmas song by Boney M, and mariah Carey’s “All I Want Is You”
You want brilliance BEFORE I’ve had my coffee!!!
I used to think the Kinks’ Father Christmas Give Us Some Money song was kind of funny. Then it got old. This is because all radio stations feel the need to play Christmas songs, just to increase the bitterness and isolation of us non-Christians, and Fatherchristmasgiveussomemoney is the only one that really fits a classic rock playlist. So that means that roughly 10% of the songs played on the radio station in December will be Father Christmas Give Us Some Money Cause I’m a Poor Limey Waif with a Mediocre Voice But I Used Distortion Before Everybody Else So I’m Automatically a Classic, which is too much for one song.
I hate all the mutilated “rock” and “jazz” versions of “Jingle Bells”, although if a bzzt-clink industrial version of it came out I guess I would give it a listen. Hey, maybe I should write one. Skinny Puppy meets the Andrews Sisters!
I hate all the Barbara Streisand Christmas songs. And all her other songs.
I hate Melee Kuh Leaky Mocca or however you spell it. For some reason, I just don’t like being reminded that there are people who can see the sun at this time of year. Plus, having heard the song several hundred times, I have figured out what Hawaii’s way to say a mary chrissmuss, a vary mary chrissmuss, to you is.
I hate all songs which discuss the level of sexual experience possessed by Christ’s mother. Whether or not some long-dead girl had sex before she gave birth to the Path, the Way, the Son of God, or Barney the Purple Dinosaur for that matter isn’t interesting to me. The problem is, about half of all the Christmas songs fit into this category.
My translation of “Silent Night”:
Damn I’m funny.
Any similarity in the above text to an English word or phrase is purely coincidental.
I don’t know about you, but it isn’t Christmas until I’ve heard the dogs barking “Jingle Bells” on the radio…gawd-I hate that!
I wish someone would run over “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer.”
Yer pal,
Satan
“All I want for Christmas (is my two front teeth.”
I’m always tempted to give that kid (or whichever ugly-voiced troll Spike Jones found) a knuckle sandwich instead.
La franchise ne consiste pas à dire tout ce que l’on pense, mais à penser tout ce que l’on dit.
H. de Livry
I wouldn’t hate Jingle Bell Rock except that every time I go shopping, it is the only song that ends up tootling around incessantly in my brain. I must hear dozens of songs, but my brain just keeps singing, “Jingle bell time, it’s a swell time, to rock the night awaaaay…”
Blam! AIEEEE!
PS. Blue Twylight, I hate both the Little Drummer Boy and Do You See What I See.
I loathe the fuzzy-kitten sentimental tear-jerker 4th-grade-reading-level soft-focus inane talking-animal quasi-religious drivel these two songs embody. It doesn’t help that each song has a duration of about twenty minutes, either.
See? You’re not the only Grinch. Bwa-ha ha ha ha ha!
“Greensleeves”… especially when played on the recorder by 6th graders. AAAARRRRRGGGHHH!
The Hawaiian Christmas song (as recorded by Bing Crosby) is “Mele Kalikimaka,” so rendered because of the sound-scheme of the language.
My choices for most hated:
“Feliz Navidad”–phrases repeated over and over
“Santa Claus Is Coming to Town”–verses chosen to whet kids’ greed for this toy and that during the Christmas merchandising season.
“Santa Baby” as sung by Madonna pretending to be Betty Boop. The Eartha Kitt version is not so boop-boop-ba-doop, and therefore not nearly as wretched.
Jodi
Fiat Justitia
All the non-religious ones (even though I’m not particularly religious - I figure the Christian ones are describing an influential event, while the others are just annoying).
Well, I can deal with Little St. Nick, but only the Run, run, reindeer line.
Speaking of Do you Hear What I Hear, the line that makes me grit my teeth is A child, a child, shivers in the cold/let us bring him silver and gold When what he needs is a blanket.
O Holy Night - I don’t hate it so much, but it’s so often played like the music they play on the merry-go-round that I can’t get that image out of my head when I hear it.
Oh Come All Ye Faithful
Come and Get a Plateful
Of Turkey and Dressss-sing
and Potatooooooooooooooes
I opened the door, and look who I found. Damn I’m good
Jingle Bells…The song needs a new chorus.
In fact, the song needs to be forgotten.
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.
Actually, I just find the kid’s voice really annoying. It just makes me grind my teeth. I feel like saying, “Kid, shut up. It’s your father. There is no Santa. And while we’re at it, there’s no tooth fairy and no Easter Bunny. And we’re not really sure if you exist, either. So quit yer yappin’.”
Question authority–just not mine.
" … you’ll find out when you grow up that BigBird isn’t funny, funny, FUNNY… Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!"
Coldfire
“You know how complex women are”
- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)
Rudolph, because it’s just so commericial.
Elvis’s version of Blue Christmas, because of the drunk-sounding and off-key background singers.
That Sleigh Ride song.
Anything sung by a choir of 4-year-olds.
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt. That’s my name too.
Wait, no it isn’t.
The most hateful Christmas song of all time is, as you already know, “Grandma Got Run-Over By A Reindeer”.
I heard it yesterday for the first time this wretched holiday season. Sheesh, do I ever hate this time of year …
My job in a grocery store requires me to listen to christmas songs for 5-8 hours a day during the holidays. So i chose all Chistmas songs as being evil. But if I had to chose specifically, I would say that I don’t like the rock or pop renditions of older songs.
Barbara Streisand YELLING:
Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Jingle all the WAYYYYY!
She sings it really fast, like she’s going to climax at any given moment…
ARGGG!!!
It’s creepy and weird and frightening… I can’t even IMAGINE what a small child would think… Hell, I’m big enough to shove a 1965 Buick Special up Satan’s ass and it scared the FUCK out of me… 
Best!
Byz