I just got done watching The Terminator again, and while I’m pleased to see that Ah-nold still looks pretty good, and that the movie has, generally speaking, held up well, I was displeased to be reminded of the dumb sex scene towards the end, the one where Linda Hamilton has to get knocked up by Michael Biehn so she can give birth to his son, who, 40 years in the future, will send him back to rescue Linda from Ah-nold, so she can get knocked up by Michael Biehn, so his son can send him back to rescue his mom, so she can get knocked up…
Anyway.
As sex scenes go, it’s pretty stupid. The lead-in to it is really dumb. He takes his shirt off. She looks at his bare back. Two lines of dialogue later, they’re going at it. Guys, take note. Women are seriously turned on by a man’s bare back. Gets me all hot just thinkin about it. Whoo-ee! Where’s the Astroglide?
Apparently Linda’s only motivation for hopping into bed with him is that she feels sorry for him–he’s never been laid. Great–the survival of the human race is made possible by a single mercy fuck.
The whole scene is: two stars with fake passionate looks on their faces, like this :rolleyes: , and many editorial cuts away to their clenched fists intertwined on the motel mattress (never did figure out what that was supposed to mean–maybe who’s on top?), and the director playing peek-a-boo with Linda’s breasts–come on, Jim, you gonna show us some tit or not? The answer is, evidently, “sort of”.
Definitely Jim Carrey and Courtney Cox in “Ace Ventura.” Not high on my list of good movies anyway, but I have to say it’s the only movie where I enjoyed the edited-for-television version better than the uncut.
Are we including sex scenes that are supposed to be unerotic, disgusting, and unappealing?
If so, the rape scenes from Deliverance and The Outlaw Josey Wales are about the worst, but of course they are intended to provoke that reaction.
If we mean sex scenes that were supposed to be erotic and appealing, but aren’t, I think I have to go with Jack Nicholson first going after Jessica Lange in the remake of The Postman Always Rings Twice. People complain about Connery smooching with Zeta-Jones; I’d rather watch that ten times than see Nicholson and Lange again.
For love scenes containing no overt sex, the worst I can think of right now is Etta Place’s opening scene from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. I like the movie in general, and I’m the only one I know who hates this scene, but I don’t like men who point guns at their girlfriends for kicks, or women who casually accept it.
I saw the (French?) film “Romance” recently after reading a decent review in a local free paper, and I’ve got to say it was the most unerotic pile of dung I’ve ever had the misfortune to sit through (not that I watched the whole thing - after about 45 minutes I needed some fresh air). Not only was it unerotic, it was ANTI-EROTIC - I didn’t want to have sex again for days after seeing it (well, OK, hours at least). It truly takes some kind of sick genius to fill a movie with so many sex scenes and still turn you off. Worse even than “Showgirls”. I’d rather puke.
Ha! When I saw this thread title, the first movie that popped into my head was Terminator. I know that the plot required Sarah Connor to roll in the hay with Reese, but it was kinda stupid the way it happened. Not just the whole “You mean there was never someone…?” bit, but more the whole “As long as we are running for our lives from this cyborgenic assassin that will stop at nothing to kill us and can apparently find us anywhere, let’s take a time out and do the sheet shimmy in this motel” bit. Maybe the act of building home-made explosives is a real aphrodisiac. In any case, it was kinda silly. I still think the movie rocked, though.
I’d also have to vote for the sex scene in Highlander. It was pointless. It really added nothing to the movie. And the set-up was even more ridiculous that in Terminator. It was “I suspect you may be an immortal, and now that you have proven it by stabbing yourself most gruesomely in the abdomen, I am so smitten that I must have sex with you.”
There were a couple of extremely unappealing sex scenes in Feeling Minnesota, the memories of which I had successfully managed to repress until now. What a terrible, terrible movie.
Come to think of it, for sheer dumbness the sex scenes between William Wallace and Queen Isabelle in *Braveheart,*and between Ed Exley and Lynn Bracken in L.A. Confidential rank pretty high. I hadn’t thought of them because first, they were mercifully brief, and second, both movies otherwise rocked.
Oh no, the worst, most pointless and laughable sex scene in a movie was in “Conan the Barbarian” between Conan and the morphing cat woman. Waaaay dumb.
AMEN!!!
I recently watched that movie again, and that scene really pissed me off.
The act itself was silly, or the fact that it happened was silly? Because unlike in Highlander, there was a reason for the sex in LA Confidential. Remember, the Sargent used the photos to piss off Bud, so he would kill Ed in a crime of passion, and nobody would be suspicious of anything more sinister than that?
Yes, unlike in Braveheart, the act was important to advancing the plot. It just wasn’t convincing that Exley, Mr. Integrity, who doesn’t apparently even like Lynn Bracken, all of a sudden finds her that irresistible. In Braveheart, the scene should simply have been removed; in L.A. Confidential, it just needed to be done better and set up better.
Though I haven’t seen any of the movies mentioned (well, except for Ace Ventura but I don’t remember that scene since it was so long ago), I’d have to say that any sex scene involving two people with a huge age gap (ex. Winona Ryder and Richard Gere) would be unerotic to me. Yuck. It just seems so…pedophilic.
Another vote here for “Highlander”. When I saw that in the theatres, people were walking out half-way through. It was pretty bad. I managed to make it through the whole movie, but I remember the groans of incredulity when the “love” scene came on.
any of the love scenes in mission: impossible 2 - geez that movie sucked. they should have taken a cue from the first one and killed the love interest of tom cruise at the beginning!(of course i’m a little biased )
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