I’m not close to my mom, and my doctor is a grumpy old man. So I’m looking to find a great, informative book and website that will help me with the mysteries of pregnancy & childbirth.
What was the book you found most useful? Least useful?
Ditto for a website or forum.
Thank you,
S.
I am a guy but my wife and I are expecting our second child in June. We found (and still find) What to Expect When You Are Expecting the most valuable written resource of all. It is extremely popular and breaks down preganancy into what is happening to the baby over time.
I agree with Shagnasty’s recommendation, but a lot of people don’t like the What to Expect series. I think they find it a little overbearingly perfectionist and alarmist, especially the nutritional advice. I do think the month-by-month explanations of pregnancy were really helpful. I had two miscarriages as well as a successful pregnancy and I found the information about miscarriage and when to call the doctor very helpful. It was especially reassuring when I had a healthy pregnancy going on right after suffering a miscarriage. It’s easy to be panicky after that.
I also have *What to Expect the First Year * (liked it) and *What to Expect the Toddler Years * (not nearly as good).
I’m not very fond of pregnancy books in general but find I visit quite a few websites for information.
My favourite site is www.babycenter.com (I use the UK site). They do a wonderful weekly newsletter to show and tell you what’s happening with your baby. The site itself is extremely informative with most everything you would ever want to know.
I’m due with baby 2 in 5 weeks (anticipated C-section unless anything happens in the meantime). Feel free to drop me an email if you’d like to chat about anything. Anything.
Pregnancy is weird, scary and exciting.
Best wishes for a healthy and uneventful time of it!
I did not care for the What to Expect When You Are Expecting. If you are a knee-jerk reactionist who worries about every little thing and how if you eat that Pudding Pop you just ruined your fetus’ chances of getting into Harvard! then that book is just for you!!!111!!!.
Personally, my philosophy about pregnancy is that women have been having babies for bajillions of years and turned out ok. Pregnancy books have been out of the closet for about 50 years, but really with a big Bang in the last 15 (esp. in the last 10) and they harp on shit you don’t want to know about or really need to know about. Moderation and common sense.
I liked The Girlfriends Guide To Pregnancy by Vicki Iovine.
Sorta the smartass alternative to What To Expect.
What helped me the most…sleep.
echoing Shirley’s words.
Wasn’t fond of What to Expect. Loved The Girlfriend’s Guide. Best resource was friends. That and the class at the hospital.
And yes, women have done this for a very long time. Common sense will take care of almost everything.
My problems with What to Expect were along the lines of C3s - overbearing - and I didn’t find the month by month that useful. Its written question/answer.
Hoo Hoo! Count me as another fan of Vicki Iovine! Her Guide to the First Year was also a big help to me, particularly with postpartum issues.
You might also consider looking for a doula. Doulas are specially trained to help women during pregnancy and childbirth, not as anti-doctors but as caring women who’ve been there. They’re advocates for you and what you want. Kind of a nifty niche.
The bulletin boards have a lot of misinformation, competition, bad news and ignorance. The message boards at babycenter.com have pissed me off sooo many times. I’ve had much, much better experiences with Dopers (Hi Ladies!).
Oh, and Doulas don’t charge much; many of them work on sliding scales.
I think it depends on what kind of person you are.
Are you the kind of gal who wants to know everything that could possibly go wrong ahead of time? Do you like to be very, very informed, so you can plan what to do, how you’ll feel, etc.? Does having lots of information about lots of options and possibilities make you feel empowered? Then you’re a What to Expect gal.
Does hearing about bad possibilities make you anxious? Would you rather not know about things which you yourself have only a miniscule chance of having to deal with? Would you rather deal with a problem if it comes up, but not worry yourself over it in the meantime? Girlfirend’s Guide will be your best friend. Avoid What to Expect and ALL pregnancy magazines.
For child-rearing, I cannot recommend Dr T. Berry Brazelton highly enough, no matter which of the above types you are. He’s sweet, gently funny and very much a “there, there” kind of doctor and writer. He’s also immensely wise, profoundly respectful of parent/child relationships and simply a darn good doctor AND writer. A hard combo to come by. No matter what issues come up, Brazelton has addressed it. And his first and foremost piece of advice is always Trust Yourself.
Hey you’re from BC. Is there anything in the BC Health Guide the NDP sent everyone a couple years back? I’ll check when I get home…
But in the meantime, see if you can find a new doctor!
The problem with What to Expect is that it never includes the odds of any horribly tragic thing happening. Eg. that ‘cunnilingus will kill me’ section? One case worldwide, and it’s only a tenuous link at best.
I’ve read through that book, The girlfriend’s guide, and The expectant father in preparation for my wife giving birth at the end of April. No one book did it all for me, but the best book I had was the one given out by the Lamaze class my wife and I just finished. Not a huge book, but it went through everything necessary.
Oh, and avoid the pregancy message boards. Most of the people posting there appear to have lost touch with reality.
For the most part I just asked my sister stuff. Her kids are 7 and 2.5 years older than my son.
I know you can’t ask my sister stuff, but if you have a friend or relative whom you trust and who is not too far away from the experience, use them! Obviously for the more serious medical questions, you wouldn’t check with your friend OR a book or website, you would go to your doctor.
The government of India has good advice for pregnant women and new moms online in English. The advice was good, echoed a lot of what my very good OB said and easy to follow. I will look for the link.
I also didn’t care for “What to Expect…”
I also loved “The Girlfriend’s Guide”.
My best resourses were the Expecting Clubs at what is now The Parent Perspective.
There are also boards on parenting styles, birth options, pregnancy in general. I started posting in Jan 98 on the July 98 Expecting Club. Even now I am still a member of the July 98 Playgroup. It’s mostly all the same women sharing advice and experience.
Wow … thanks all …
I’m not sure how to find a doula in my city … or if we even have them here. Any ideas?
As for what kind of person I am … well, I worry WAYYYY too much … but at the same time, I enjoy having lots of information. What I need is a source that puts it into perspective.
You guys have given me some great places to start!
**
Washte** - thanks for the offer - I just might take you up on it and send you an email.
This is still VERY new news … I’m still trying to take it all in … :eek:
[url=http://www.dona.org/FindingABirthDoula.html] Try this for finding a doula. A friend of mine is a doula and this organization is linked to her web page (she’s in Chicagoland).
Putting the info into perspective is the trick, isn’t it?
Hate to point this out, but once your baby’s here, the amount of info increases logarithmically (I’m holding back on deluging you with my faves). Keep in mind, as Shirley so wisely said, moderation and common sense.
Personally, I tend to think like a cavewoman. A literate one, who reads everything and researches it all, but who follows her physical, intuitive, spiritual, emotional instincts when the day’s done. I figure the human race got a long way on those alone.
Dr. Spock holds up very well - I’d recommend his book.
Another book I liked quite a bit was Dr. Mom, written by a pediatrician with 5 kids. It give good info without being alarmist.
Dr. Spock holds up very well - I’d recommend his book.
Another book I liked quite a bit was Dr. Mom, written by a pediatrician with 5 kids. It gives good info without being alarmist.
I read The Girlfriend’s Guide and it was a good read but a lot of it is anecdotal. When I needed to look something up I used The Mother of All Pregnancy Books. I found it was a good resource without scaring the crap out of me. It is easy to find a topic you want to know about without reading the whole book, and I used the chart of safe medications a bunch of times. This is the one I would keep on hand to use again.
I didn’t like the What to Expect books, but my sister used them and she did like them so it is a personal preference.
My only advice is don’t read too far ahead. There is a lot of info to absorb and it can be overwhelming. Don’t be worrying about labor techniques when you are still dealing with morning sickness and first ultrasounds. (On the other hand, don’t assume you will make it to your due date either 
) Stay within a few months of where you are.
And congratulations! Try to enjoy it, it is an amazing experience.
Also, if you get a book and you find it makes you nervous, throw it the hell out.
I used babycenter.com when I was pregnant with my last, and I loved the weekly newsletter. I also used the UK side of it, eventhough I am in the US because I just liked it better.
I used to paraphrase* my weekly newsletter for my friends at a fantasy/sci-fi book community. They were hilarious toward the end…
*“This week your baby is cover with hairy cheese!”