Wonder Woman says “did you hear anything?”
The Invisible Man responds, “no, but my ass hurts like hell.”
Little Johnnys father wanted to teach him and his two brothers a little lesson on life. A lesson about money and the best way to earn it. He decided he would give each of his three sons a duck and give them a chance to try to sell their duck “to the highest bidder.”
First he gave Jacob a duck and said “Son here is your duck, take your time and see what you can get for it.” Well Jacob was definately not the patient son. He ran to the neighbors next door and asked if they would buy his duck from him. The neighbor (not knowing what he would do with this duck) said, “I’ll give you a buck for that duck.”
Jacob came running home to his father saying “Daddy, Daddy, I got a buck for my duck!”
Next he gave Jordan a duck and said said “Son here is your duck, take your time and see what you can get for it.” So Jacob walked the block he found a neighbor down the street that hesitently said, “I’ll give you ten bucks for that duck.”
Jordan feeling very proud came running home to his father saying “Father, Father, I got ten bucks for my duck!”
Finally came little Johnny his father said to him “Son here is your duck, take your time and see what you can get for it.” Well he had his mind set on impressing his father. He knew he needed to go furthur than his block. He walked all the way downtown to attempt to sell his duck. He got to the brothel on main street and went to the front desk and asked what he could get for his duck. The mistress sent him to room 304 to see what he could get for his duck. The beauty in the room said she would fck him for his duck. He said ok and the proceeded. When they were done she had no idea what she was going to do with a duck so she said hey kid Ill fck you if you take this duck back. He said well ok and the did it again.
Little Johnny was walking home from downtown (little duck following right behind) trying to think of how he was going to explain that he still had his duck with him. About that time a truck drove by and hit the duck. The driver of the truck felt awful. He assumed that the duck was the little boys pet. He said to Johnny “Look son, I’m real, real, sorry I will give you twenty bucks for a new duck will that be ok” The boy thought about this and realized that was the perfect explaination for his father.
Little Johnny ran straight home with his new crisp twenty dollar bill and said.
“Daddy Daddy I got a fck for a duck, a duck for a fck and twenty bucks for a f*cked up duck!”
“…it’s a milking machine that doesn’t stop until its gotten 40 gallons.”
I don’t know if any of these are more well known than the ‘smoke after sex’ joke, but I believe the oldest sex joke is:
“Stand back, Eve! I’m not sure how big it’s going to get!”
“Yeah, but I really don’t want another dinner roll up my ass.”
“It’s just vanilla ice-cream…”