Mother of "Burger King Baby" revealed, some interesting tidbits.

[Zsofia]

@TriPolar

In my experience the first part of your statement is an unusual occurence. Adopted children frequently have difficulties, but I think it’s rarely the fault of the parents.

The second part of your statement is something I’ve never heard of. I can’t imagine the idea of parents abandoning the child they raised because that child sought out their biological relatives.

The third part about waiting until age 12 is not that unusual, and perhaps a tough decision to make for these parents in light of these unusual circumstances. When children are told of their adoptions they will start asking questions, and many of them have answers that shouldn’t be revealed until a child is older.

Psst - you’re responding to somebody who has, in previous threads, demonstrated that she has Serious Issues with adoption.

[Fenris]

@Macca26

ZPG Zealot was giving you a comparison. Weighing the other options available to her at the time, what she did was commendable by comparison. She was between a rock and a hard place and you’re asking, “why didn’t she choose the pillow?”

It was a dumbfuck comparison.

There were literally dozens of places she could have dumped her kid at that would have been better. A hospital. A fire department. A police station. A government building. An orphanage.

Abandoning your baby in a Burger King restroom is better than “strangling your baby with it’s umbilical cord and abandoning it’s carcass in a dumpster” and that’s better than force-feeding your kid to fatten her up, beating her with wire hangers and then leaving her out for wildebeasts to feast upon. That hardly makes what she did commendable or heroic. All she did was chose a marginally less stupid and selfish option than she might otherwise have. Hurrah. :rolleyes:

Remember, this was 1987. This was not 1670. There were options available to women besides dumping a baby in a restroom or sewing a scarlet letter on her chest.

[Ferret_Herder]

All of the places you listed have official security personnel and camera surveillance, and thus a damned good chance of arresting a terrified teen mom for abandoning her baby. I don’t applaud the birth mother’s actions, but doing that is why she wasn’t put in jail. They didn’t have no-questions-asked Safe Havens then.

[Fenris]

@Ferret_Herder

All of the places you listed have official security personnel and camera surveillance, and thus a damned good chance of arresting a terrified teen mom for abandoning her baby. I don’t applaud the birth mother’s actions, but doing that is why she wasn’t put in jail. They didn’t have no-questions-asked Safe Havens then.

True although I don’t think camera surveillance would have been anywhere near as pervasive in 1987 as today.

My main point is that ZPGZealot’s implication that she was a hero for not strangling her baby and Macca’s applause of it were stupid.

Heroic or admirable or even “commendable” is taking a risk of getting caught to insure the safety of your baby. Dumping the kid in a fast food john and hoping that some junkie doesn’t find the baby and sell it for crack* is none of those things. All it is is better than some other, worse and stupid alternatives.

*For the hyperbole impaired, this is hyperbole. I am aware that people other than crack-junkies go to Burger King.

[Broomstick]

^ This.

Back in those days dropping a kid off at the places Fenris listed would have resulted in an examination of security footage and a manhunt for the woman, who, if caught would have faced criminal prosecution for child abandonment and endangerment. That’s on top of being raped and a pregnant, unwed teen.

That’s why safe haven laws were enacted, so women would leave unwanted children in more sensible places than a Burger King bathroom.

[TruCelt]

@Boyo_Jim

I don’t believe I’ve ever as stupid comment as one describing abandoning a newborn in fast food restroom as “brave and dedicated.”

:dubious:

OK, get someone to kick you in the abdomen every five minutes for the next 6 hours, then stab yourself in the genitals. Walk a mile. Then come back and tell us how easy that was.

[Sauron]

@TruCelt

OK, get someone to kick you in the abdomen every five minutes for the next 6 hours, then stab yourself in the genitals. Walk a mile. Then come back and tell us how easy that was.

I don’t know what the Burger Kings are like where you live, but ours are considerably nicer than this.

[CrazyCatLady]

@Sauron

I don’t know what the Burger Kings are like where you live, but ours are considerably nicer than this.

I think she was talking about giving birth, not eating at Burger King. Although given some of the folks I’ve seen at our local BK…

[Eyebrows_0f_Doom]

@TruCelt

:dubious:

OK, get someone to kick you in the abdomen every five minutes for the next 6 hours, then stab yourself in the genitals. Walk a mile. Then come back and tell us how easy that was.

Wait so now just having a baby is “brave and dedicated”?

[Suil_Dubh]

Why do people have babies anyway? I just can’t wrap my head around it.

[TruCelt]

@Eyebrows_0f_Doom

Wait so now just having a baby is “brave and dedicated”?

No, are you being deliberately dense? Getting up and walking all that way while exhausted and injured in order to place the child where it will be found and cared for is brave and dedicated.

[Penfeather]

@Boyo_Jim

Did I say that? What I said was that there is no rational way that abandoning your newborn infant in a Burger King bathroom can be characterized as “brave and dedicated”?

Chick-Fil-A, sure.

[Nava]

@TruCelt

Then walking to the nearest public place where she could be certain the child would be found in time

Underline mine: with all the times a baby is found in the garbage and living in a culture in which baskets at a church’s door wasn’t acceptable, a bathroom that’s kept clean and checked periodically sounds like the height of luxury and preparedness.