Oy. I should direct my mom to this thread - she’d relate…
She’s 56, my nana’s 85 & has been driving Momout of her gourd. My grandfather had senile dementia & should have been in a nursing home by the summer of 2001, but Nana wouldn’t hear of it. She pulled a passive-resistance routine: My parents would gently bringing up the “If we have to go that route, what about the money/the medical issues/etc?”, but Nana refused to discuss it. They barely convinced her to get an aide for 8 hours a day.
Meanwhile, my mother traveled to their home (1 hour east of here) every Saturday to help Nana clean, which she couldn’t do as well as she needed to. My mom only being around for one full day a week caused a lot of stress in my family.
Finally, things reached the inevitable crisis point: Nana fell - she broke her hips & needed surgery & rehab. We couldn’t care for Grandpop - he needed round-the-clock care. We managed, after a fair bit of panicking, to get him an emergency placement in the local hospital, then got him into a nursing home. He was in bad shape by that time & died a month & a half later.
Nana’s now out of rehab & living back home, but she’s had this problem with edema. I swear, it was like pulling teeth to get her to do anything about it - even now, she’s passive-aggressive about her treatment. When my mother asks about a doctor visit, or where she put a bill or note, she’s very vague or says she can’t recall.
She won’t carry the cordless phone my mother got for her. Y’all know how panic-inducing it can be when your elderly parent doesn’t answer the phone.
Argh. The beauty part is, my mom has no siblings - she’s it. Man, I hope I’m healthy when I’m elderly. Thanks for letting me vent, folks.