Yeah, sucks, especially if you’re taping two shows consecutively, one of which airs on a different channel from the other. At least if they were on the same channel, I wouldn’t have to choose between missing the last ~minute of show A or missing the first ~minute of show B. (Those of you who tape both “Grey’s Anatomy” on ABC, followed immediately by “E.R.” on NBC know what I’m talking about.)
Unless, that is, you have TIVO, which I just this weekend very, very briefly considered looking into. I’ve heard that it’s expensive, though, and there’s not enough on TV that I’m interested in seeing that would justify the cost.
Oh, yeah, man–I’m totally with you on that Sunday Night Football rant, too! That shit really messes with my “60 Minutes” taping.
Dear coworkers. When management decided that our budget could not support a receptionist, I put a bell out for the delivery men.
Yes, it is very clever that each of you have to ring it when you come in. It makes it even more hilarious that our trailer-trash secretary is “working from home” at least two days a week and I have to interrupt what I’m doing to go check on a delivery.
This has made for months of hilarity. Some days my sides ache at how clever you are.
But I confess, it is starting to lose its novelty. Of course, none of you get up and check when the bell is rung, so you can’t appreciate the fun.
In short: Knock it off or I’ll take the freaking bell home.
Fuck you chuggers! No you do NOT want a minute of my time, you want my bank details and a steady drip drip of money into your coffers until I die. If I wanted to give to charity (and I do) I wouldn’t do it through some gimp in the street holding a clipboard.
Fuck everyone for not coming to Bulgaria more. Because then there would be lots of flights out of Sofia to all over the world, so when I’m planning a trip, it’d be easy, and it wouldn’t be a fucking logistical nightmare trying to get fucking ANYWHERE. Fucking hell, I never realized how good I had it back in Chicago.
Fuck you, Lunesta, and the butterfly you wafted in on. You don’t make me sleepy, but that isn’t really why I asked for a sleep aid. I wanted to be able to sleep more than two hours in a row - and you don’t do that either. And since the doctor was out of samples, I had to shell out $130 to find out you don’t work.
And to top it off, I am simply unable to describe the foul taste in my mouth you leave. I have awakened with hangovers I thought would be fatal, and my mouth didn’t taste this bad. The foul taste overcomes brushing my teeth (baking soda toothpaste), mouthwash, and coffee and lingers throughout the day, reminding me constantly what an expensive fucking failure you are.
Fuck you Royal Fucking Mail. You and your cunting postal strikes - I’ve been waiting over a week and a half for my Drawn Together series 2 package. Lazy arse pieces of shit.
You two got together and conspired and plotted, didn’t you, and as soon as you realized that my husband wasn’t going to be able to go back to work (to that festering bureacratic nightmare of a loonybin that sapped his strength and finally broke his will so that now he can’t even leave the house without a panic attack) you both broke down.
So now my family is down to one income and 2 broken cars. At least I have the cold satisfaction of knowing that you can’t sit in the driveway giggling together about it, because my car chose my workplace parking lot as a good place to stop moving. Did you think I’d fall all over myself trying to fix you…again? Fucking sit there, pieces of shit, I have no shame in begging rides from co-workers.
And while I’m at it, fuck you phone company, gas company, water company, et al. You’ll get your goddamn money. You may not get it the very second you want it, but you’ll get it, and we’ve told you this over and over, so shut the fuck up and leave me the fuck alone for two seconds.
I believe it was TNT that used to schedule all their shows to start five minutes past the hour or half-hour so that people would be disinclined to watch other networks because they would have to either miss the last five minutes of TNT’s shows or the first five minutes of the other network’s shows. My response to this, as is rapidly becoming my response to the current scheduling “adjustments”, is to decide not to watch networks that do this.
What’s annoying is that it’s not done on a consistent basis, and I usually have no way of knowing it’s going to happen until I try to watch a show that I set my DVR to auto-record.
We’re having our bathroom redone. The contractors got here at 7:00am. Fine. Started gutting the place, asked me some questions, all fine.
I left to pick up the tile. I made sure they knew I was going. Asked if they needed anything. Made sure everything was fine.
When I came home, they were gone. Gone, I presume, to either get lunch (although there’s a cooler on the table in the carport) or to dump all the demo detritus. Also fine.
Except they left my house completely unlocked. That’s not so fine. If they were going to have to leave, couldn’t they have told me? I could have waited until this afternoon to get the tile. I assume they’re coming back, since they left their tools and cooler and stuff; if they’re not, I’ll be really peeved, since then there was really no reason to leave the doors unlocked.
I mean, I know it’s a quiet neighborhood and it’s broad daylight, but would it kill you to lock the door?
Yup. I could not agree more, and also with subsequent posters about out-of-date bumper stickers. The election is OVER, move ON. Vote in the NEXT election.
My own rant is more of a wail, so excuse me while I get some cheese to go with my whine.
My husband started a new job in Boston three weeks ago. I am in Kansas City. To get me to Boston, I need at least one of the following things to happen: the house needs to sell (its listed a a fair price, but the market is sucky) OR I need to land a job in Boston.
Is that so much to ask?
Seriously it hasn’t even been a month, and I’m a sniveling crybaby mess. The kitties are in withdrawal, I miss my nightly snuggles, I miss the sex, I even miss his SNORING. Sheesh I open his closet just to smell his clothes.
I’m still angry that I took my heart-patient husband to the emergency room at 3 am with chest pains, and at 3:30 am we were still sitting in the empty waiting room having seen no one at all. Not even a perfunctory blood pressure check. Nothing.
Thank you for the door tag telling me I missed the delivery by five minutes. Thank you for your helpful service rep who told me that another delivery attempt today would not be possible. Thank you for forcing me to leave the door tag with my signature on my front door, advertising to whoever comes by that there will be a valuable package left unattended on my porch.
Grr.
Love,
Me
Dear Shipper:
Thank you for not giving me fair warning that the package requires a signature. Thank you for not giving me a tracking number so I’d know the package requires a signature.
I don’t have a car so I don’t care what the latest gas-price outrage is, or what rapetastic danger lurks in parking lots. I don’t care about your made-up-trivia 65 Interesting Things About Rapists lists. I’m an atheist, which you also know, so no I’m not going to pray for “our boys over there” or for them to catch that rapist or anything else, and if I did, I wouldn’t do so because of anything starting with the letters fwd. I’m not going to download your pictures of cute Iraqi kids (see it’s not so bad over there), and I don’t want to read what a “self defense expert” says about how not to get raped. No one is going to donate a dollar to ANY cause if I forward this email, even without your warning email I wouldn’t let a strange man spray me with anything in a mall, and I honestly don’t give a fuck that An Arab Man in Cleveland warned a Good Samaritan to stay away from the Main Street Bank on whatever upcoming date.
If you insist on continuing to forward me such shit, even after I have politely asked that you not forward me such things, I’m going to be forced to set your head on fire.
Burn in hell Arm and Hammer Discounted Couponed Baking Soda Anti-Perspirant/Deoderant inventor/tester. I smell like a powdered baby. I could deal with it, except everyone around me keeps asking “where is the diaper?”
Go to hell Nvidia/HP with your “update your driver” shit. I downloaded your crap, and it won’t install. So quit telling me to get the new drivers. My laptop is working just fine.
A good FedEx driver is wonderful, isn’t he/she? I had a regular driver in New Orleans who knew I always waived signature, since I’d get several packages a week from my office. Then one day my son’s new computer arrived when nobody was home – and although he left the package near the door (well hidden from sight from the street, fortunately, by some bushes, and he carefully placed the boxes so they wouldn’t be visible), he still came by an hour later, after we were home, to verify that we had indeed gotten it.
It’s nice to know some people still care about doing a decent job, even if the bureaucracy they work for makes it difficult for them sometimes.
Fuck you Scottish Assembly for having every form of contact possible on your website except your actual mailing address - what kind of government department forces people to ring them just to find out where to send their letters to? Lame!