Motherfucking seven inch centipedes

Technically they are forcipules, or fangs in common language. They’re legs only in terms of evolutionary origin. You might as well say the antennae aren’t antennae, but legs.

Man, those things are scarey! Does hawaii have big venomous spiders too?
For some reason, spiders scare me-they give me the creeps.

Are they the British geckos that sell car insurance? You have to be vigilant against that kind.

Brings back memories of my old house in rural Japan. I had just gotten up and was putting away my bedding when one of those seven-inch monsters dropped from the blankets. :eek:

I didn’t want to touch it–even to kill it–so I picked it up with chopsticks and put it in a bowl of rubbing alcohol. It wasn’t able to escape, but even submerged in alcohol it wouldn’t die.

The next day I dropped a match into the alcohol. EVENTUALLY that did the trick.

I’ll just leave this here.

Jesus H. Christ! I hate centipedes so much! Gah, this thread is killing me. GAH! GAAAH!

(This problem stems from a dreadful incident when I was 13 years old. The Michigan House Centipede I had smashed to pieces proceeded to twitch and continue running for well over 15 minutes.)

Fuck. I need a drink. Why did I click on this thread?

I feel like I need to lie down after reading this thread.

And yet, if I lie down, I’ll be less mobile When Centipedes Attack!

Only 7" ? I vividly remember milling around the Kalihi bus transfer station while waiting for the Aliamanu bus and kicking at a paper plate lying on the sidewalk. Hidden underneath was a centipede curled in an arc that had to be about a foot long. I can still imagine the
Honolulu Star-Bulletin headline “Kalihi boy suffers centipede-induced heart attack”. Good ting dem buggas no got da kine wings, eh?

That’s what puts me off Australia, the mainland has no big predators save a few crocs and dingos, but such a host of little poisonous bastards, that can strike anywhere, any time. From Cracked.com, 6 deadliest creatures that can fit in your shoe;

More horrors.

Those big fat centipedes that eat mice aren’t so scary. Kinda cute, actually. I wouldn’t like to wake up with one on my face, but they’re not so bad. They seem pretty slow and laid back, as far as vicious killers go.

House centipedes, on the other hand, are denizens of the 9th circle of hell. They dart to and fro at 3000 miles an hour. They can run across ceilings and walls, except they can trip and fall into your hair. Their bent, pointy legs give me the fucking creeps. When I was little my grandmother told us kids that if they got into your ear while you were sleeping they would kill you. THANKS GRANDMA! You’re not helping…

[Samuel L. Jackson]
I’ve had enough of these motherfucking centipedes in this motherfucking thread!
[/Samuel L. Jackson]

Sorry, couldn’t resist.

OK, via that Cracked article, there was a newslink to this story, courtesy of the Australian Broadcasting Corporation, although oddly enough, the creature in question is not Australian. I’m sure that’s why the ABC ran the story–“Look! A deadly Hell Creature from a completely different continent from Australia!”

Anyway:

:eek:

The hospital officials go on to say that “the brazilian wandering spider was unlikely to pose a risk to public health since it ‘would have died very soon after being released’ because of the cold.” Oh, sure–being dumped into a freezer, doused with boiling water, and zapped in a microwave didn’t phase the thing, but don’t worry, the brutally cold weather–of England in May–would have quickly done it in. One is somewhat reassured by the fact that the story was from 2005, and I don’t recall reading any stories about Great Britain being terrorized by a giant, speedy, aggressive, microwave-emitting, mutant Brazilian death spider any time in the last five and a half years; but on the other hand, I can’t help thinking it’s just out there somewhere…lurking. Biding its time. Plotting revenge.

Try a centipede that is five feet long, leaves a trail a foot wide and left a trail not too far from my house that is still visible millions of years later. The fact that this ever existed gives me the willies.

Holy shit, that is the Rasputin of the insect world … that thing will be there killing cockroaches after the nuclear holocost!

The spider reminds me of a beetle-type creature I collected for my 9th grade Biology insect collection. I found it in a field, scooped it up, and stuck it in the freezer for two days. Two days later, I pull it out, and impale it on a pin for the bug collection. Fucker starts moving its legs. Fine, I douse it with rubbing alcohol. Stunned, but still not impressed. Finally, I fill a cup with rubbing alcohol and submerge the beetle (still impaled in its pin) in the alcohol. After several minutes completely submerged, it stops scraping the bottom of the glass with its legs.

Two days later, I mount it with the rest of the bugs and take it to class. I’m getting ready to hand in the insect collection when I hear a scraping sound emanating from my box. It’s still alive and suspended in mid-air on its pin and is scraping the box with it legs, trying to get free. Suddenly, the butt segment of the bug turns a different color (gets wet) and a smell fills the class room. Apparently it was stink bug, too. I asked the teacher what to do, but he said just to hand it in. At any rate, it wasn’t still moving by the time I got the bug collection back a week later.

That is not comforting.

That just means that no eyewitnesses have survived.

May- “Peter Spider, what on Earth are you doing?”
Peter- “Cooking, Aunt May.”
May- “But we’re Spiders, we don’t cook…”
Peter- “You know its crazy, but ever since I bit that chef and was hit with those Microwaves, I’ve had these Amazing cooking super-powers. Here, try this soup…”
Ben- “You know, Peter, with great chowder comes great responsibility…”
May- “Shut up, Ben, or I’ll suck you dry for lunch…”

I couldn’t either.

Well, you should be safe enough; the really big insects only existed when the atmosphere’s oxygen content was much higher than it is today.

And I think it’s pretty neat that you have a fossil track nearby. Are there any pictures of it on the Web?

I’m positive I must have posted in that old thread linked above, but I never miss a chance to trot out this picture:

Seven inches, you say? It is to laugh.