Move Over, Time Cube: Phoenix Tears Has Arrived

[Budget_Player_Cadet]

A short summary of my interaction with a pro-weed advocate on another forum:

Me: Cannabis has many positive health effects. This is nothing new. The case is, however, vastly overstated by many aiming to legalize it. By claiming things like “Cannabis is the ultimate anti-cancer medicine”, all you’re doing is making the entire movement look scientifically illiterate Well, at least you don’t some total jackass going around claiming that cannabis oil is “the fountain of youth”, or that it’ll heal all your ills…

Him: from your research so far do you think that Rick Simpson is going too far to use phrases like “fountain of youth” or “cure all” for Phoenix Tears hemp oil?

Me: <thud><thud><thud><thud><thud><thud><thud><thud><even more of the sound of me hitting my head against the wall>

So yeah. Phoenix Tears. How the fuck is this even a thing? This is some of the most insane weapons-grade alt-med bullshit I have ever read. And of course it’s all laid down with a hefty dose of “BIG PHARMA WANTS TO SHUT ME DOWN”. And of course its sole evidence is a testimonials page which has been fully shat upon, and a video stating a whole bunch of bullshit about how Chemo “kills patients”. Ugh.

From my experience all forms of disease and conditions are treatable and often curable with the use of high grade hemp oil as a treatment.

Due to its harmless nature as a medicine, hemp oil is in a class all by itself. Even something like aspirin tablets that is looked upon as being harmless by the public causes thousands of deaths worldwide each year.

If you are looking for a safe medication, look no further than what the hemp plant can provide. On top of all that it’s a medicine we can all grow and produce ourselves. Also there is no need for a doctor’s supervision with its use.

When the hemp plant is grown for medicinal use, you now have your own medical system that is much safer and effective than anything our current medical system provides. You still may require a doctor to set your broken leg, but you will no longer need the chemicals they have been pushing upon us.

So, your basic “This medicine cures every known disease with no negative side effects”. This is pretty fucking stupid already. For most drugs, the “about” page has a link to a clinical trial, or the side effects… This has a personal story about the drug or two. So what pushes it from standard “dear god this person is a fucking idiot” territory to full-on “THE STUPID IS MAKING MY BRAIN WANT TO FORCIBLY EXIT MY SKULL AND MAKE A RUN ON THE SOUTHERN BORDER”? Well, he doesn’t call it “Phoenix Tears” without reason…

Another aspect of the use of hemp as medicine is its anti-aging properties. As we age, our vital organs deteriorate and of course this impairs the function of these organs.

Hemp oil rejuvenates vital organs even in small doses it is very common for people to report to me that they feel 20 to 30 years younger after only ingesting the oil for a short time.

Now let’s take it to the next level. What about people who ingest larger quantities of oil over a longer period of time like myself? After 9 years on the oil my body does not appear to be that of a 60 year old man. Instead, my body has the appearance of someone who is a great deal younger. When I have the oil at my disposal I like to take about a quarter of a gram a day. Of course, due to short supply, quite often I must go without so my own treatment has been erratic to say the least.

From my own experience with the oil I cannot help but wonder what would happen if a person was to ingest larger quantities of oil over a longer period of time. If a person were to do this, can they actually reverse the aging process and grow younger instead of aging.

From the oils effect on my own body by all appearances this seems to be the case. Someday soon when I have enough oil I intend to start taking a gram a day for a year to see what effect it has on my body.

Many people who have taken the oil have stated that they thought it to be the fountain of youth. From my own experiences with the oil I believe this to be true.

…

…Lemme just highlight that for you.

Many people who have taken the oil have stated that they thought it to be the fountain of youth. From my own experiences with the oil I believe this to be true.

…

<thud><thud><thud><thud><thud><thud><thud>

[Really_Not_All_That_Bright]

Next thing you’ll be telling that Oxiclean doesn’t really get stains out.

[Budget_Player_Cadet]

FWIW: A little dose of hemp will cure everything is just a little look into the case from someone who knows their way around this crap.

[Darth_Panda]

If you can’t trust pot heads on a message board, who can you trust?

[BrainGlutton]

@Budget_Player_Cadet

A short summary of my interaction with a pro-weed advocate on another forum:

Me: Cannabis has many positive health effects. This is nothing new. The case is, however, vastly overstated by many aiming to legalize it. By claiming things like “Cannabis is the ultimate anti-cancer medicine”, all you’re doing is making the entire movement look scientifically illiterate Well, at least you don’t some total jackass going around claiming that cannabis oil is “the fountain of youth”, or that it’ll heal all your ills…

Him: from your research so far do you think that Rick Simpson is going too far to use phrases like “fountain of youth” or “cure all” for Phoenix Tears hemp oil?

Me: <thud><thud><thud><thud><thud><thud><thud><thud><even more of the sound of me hitting my head against the wall>

So yeah. Phoenix Tears. How the fuck is this even a thing?

Well, of course those claims are all bullsh . . .

Wait, this is, essentially, medical . . . hash?

Hmm . . .

And you can get this stuff where?

[Chimera]

Timely. I just posted this link in another thread…

[Budget_Player_Cadet]

@BrainGlutton

Well, of course those claims are all bullsh . . .

Wait, this is, essentially, medical . . . hash?

Hmm . . .

And you can get this stuff where?

Oh god, well that explains how the owner of the website feels. xD

[dropzone]

It would be like a fountain of youth to me because it would make me feel like I was 19 again: stoned.

[Little_Nemo]

Looks to me like we should be concerned about the destructive effects hemp oil has on the human brain.