Movie character mortality poll

From the 4/29/02 IMDb daily poll:

“Which character occupation has the highest mortality rate?”

Choices include “Henchman responsible for communicating bad news to despot/crime lord,” “Cop on the last day of the job before retirement,” and “Ensign on a starship.” :smiley:

Second in command to Darth Vader

What, no “black guy in an action movie”?

“Blonde Girl Showering” in any slasher movie. Mortality rate: 100%

anyone who coughs into a little hanky more than twice

any soldier who flashes a pic of his girl and says “we’re getting married as soon as I get home”

Last on the list is any dog. The dog never dies, unless it’s a film about a dog dying.

How about “Inconvenient love interest”?

The dog died in Needful Things, and a few other movies, I’m sure.

What about “first woman to sleep with James Bond”? The first one always seems to die to help plot go on (i.e. Goldfinger), yet it’s the next one with the funny name that lives.

Any bad ass killer with a twin brother who’s anything but a bad ass killer.

Everyone in a John Woo film.

Back water truck driver who stops to ask the crazed psycho he just ran over “Are you alright?”

Anyone on the hero’s side who has his youth made an issue of (e.g. the 22-year-old police officer in LW3)

Dirty Harry’s partner.

Red Shirted away team members?

Actually, statistics (compiled from Robin of Sherwood and the original Star Trek by, well, me) show that it is a staggering fourteen times more dangerous to work for the Sheriff of Nottingham than to wear a red shirt while beaming down. Bear this in mind when planning career changes.

How about “bad guy”. No one gets hauled away to the pokey anymore, they have to die.

Anyone who says, “I think we’re going to make it through this…”

Now that’s just weird. Although I never saw nor heard of that series. Although in my defence I imagine the statistical pool from Robin is quite small and hence difficult to compare.

I’ve never watched Buffy (except for the movie) but I imagine Vampire is another risky profession.

I got it! Guest stars on Police Squad. 100%

Nice one, Osiris!!!

Tanker truck driver of flammable materials in an area where high speed police chases are known to take place.

Closely related, fruit cart attendants and people who move plate glass from one side of the street to the other. Sure they don’t die that much but I bet they get fired a lot.

Woman who assists strange man who drives a cargo van.

First person to say “What’s that?”

Anyone who goes into the basement or attic in a horror movie.

Anyone who is the resident b*tch or slut in a horror film, or hell, anyone who has any sex at all, or is any race except white (ok, there have been a few cases, but not enough to base a career on.)

  The big boss's right-hand henchman, who kills people in some noteworth way (beats them to death with a steel dildo or something.)