Me and the missus went to the movies last night (to see that piece of vile dung called “Unbreakable”, which could be the subject of another BBQ thread.) and there were a couple of things that I must vent about.
The movie was scheduled for 9:15. The movie “previews” began at 9:05, and they were product commercials, not previews. Hey assholes! I paid to come here and watch a MOVIE, not some television commercial jamming Sprite down my throat for 10 minutes. Talk about a captive audience.
After the 15 minute commercial act, the previews began. Now I like previews as much as the next guy, but 20 solid minutes? Jezuz! The 9:15 movie finally began at 9:35. Needless to say, I’m a bit irritated at this point.
Maybe it’s me, but if you chose to have children, please don’t feel a need to bring the bawling baby to the theater! Fuck you, inconsiderate parent! Get a baby sitter! Or better yet, suck it up and rent a movie, you arrogant selfish fuck! (And don’t give me this bullshit about how parents need to get out… they chose to have the kid, not me. If they feel they have a right to bring a baby and disturb my evening, they should have no problem with me sitting next to them farting and burping all night. After all, I have my rights too!)
Eating habits… hey, I enjoy a bag of popcorn like anyone else, but for pete’s sake, could you chew with your mouth closed? I don’t need to see and hear every bite. If I want the popcorn experience, I’ll buy a bag myself, you mannerless prick.
In retrospect, perhaps I should stay home. Obviously with the success of NASCAR and professional wrestling in this world, the average human being is a moron. Common courtesy seems to be a thing of the past.
Oh, and for the record… it probably didn’t help much that “Unbreakable” was so boring and painful to watch that all of these other annoyances just grew to unreasonable proportions. Hey Bruce Willis! Maybe next time you make a movie you’ll wake up and say a few fucking lines, you half-wit!
Really!!?!?! People are morons? wake up and accept the fact that as a group people are losers. One on one a person is delightful (most of the time), but well we all, including you Mr. Blonde and myself are all idiots in large numbers.
But, we all do things to classify us as the idiotic geberal public. We are in the grocery store, late for something and brush past a person and almost dump thier belongings everywhere. Or we are again late and cut someone off in traffic. Or we have had the day from hell and it comes out on someone else.
Or consider a few other possibilites as to WHY the ignorant masses act as they do. I always think that whatever dinkish thing someone has done, they have a reason for it. What if the people in the movies had this date long standing and got dumped with thier sister’s kid. No, they shouldn’t have taken the kid (it is too loud in thier I think for them anyway), but they did. They probably had some reason. OR the person with the popcorn, maybe they just got braces and didn’t realise they were eating that way.
I am just saying we all do things that are dinkish and we all get pissed off at other people being dinks. It is human nature. I am sure that you had much less enjoyable time than you would have had if those other people weren’t there, but I bet you have done it to someone else.
It could have been worse, your wife could have dragged you to ‘Dungeons and Dragons’. At least she too realized that parts of it sucked, though she did find some things to like about it, and that disturbs me greatly.
How about we add to that the incredibly stupid motherfuckers who don’t listen and leave their cell phone turned on and take a call during the movie. I have acute hearing. I can hear the phone ringing in your pocket from across the theater. I didn’t come to hear that. In fact, you inspid fool, I came there to get away from that.
And what the fuck makes you think that I want to hear you talking to your friend about every GODDAMN plot point because you are too fucking STUPID to understand what is happening. When you do share, don’t shout out your STUPID EPIPHANY! We all knew it long before you! Someone needs to buy your stupid ass a muzzle or pay to get your vocal chords removed as you use them to be a DOLT!
Hey, I like WWF wrestling! OK, more like I find it strangely compelling, but still. Sure, it’s not highbrow entertainment, but it does, in fact, entertain. That’s all I expect from it.
I don’t get it. Why don’t people like Unbreakable? I thought it was an excellent movie! Better than The Sixth Sense! I can’t believe people are saying it was boring. Can someone explain to me why you didn’t like it?
How odd. I had a horrible experience seeing “Unbreakable” last Friday night (I did like the movie, a bit, though).
I realized that night why I do not go to see movies on Fridays. Because the whole student body of two middle schools in our area were there, plus little elementary school kids who tag along with their not-that-much-older siblings. It’s amazing. These middle school children hang around in flocks of 40. They feel the need to talk during the whole movie while they theater hop. Not to mention all the sheep who have their little electronic sheep-dogs, er, cell phones going off at the same time. Plus the thought it really clever to say, “Shut it off! (giggle)” when cell phones went off. I did my fair share of yelling at the little kids that night. In front of us were a middle school couple cuddling up to each other. I almost leaned over and said, “Since the total length of your relationship will be as long as this movie, can you please shut up and let me watch it!” But I didn’t. Then you had the sheep running around the hallways of the theater, yelling and screaming. Screaming!!! AAAHHHH! EEEEEE!! WHEEEEEE! HAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!
Don’t get me wrong. There were a few good pre-pubescent kids actually being quiet and watching the movies. But they were few.
Then afterwards, my friend had the luxery to battle the 1500 mothers who came to pick up their children who felt the need to park in the same place. This is why I go to the movies on Sunday mornings.
Are you serious? Ok… like I said, I was sitting there watching commercials and previews from between 30-35 minutes, so my butt cheeks already started to fall asleep and I may haven’t been in the best of spirits… but the movie was worse than watching paint dry. Bruce Willis walked around the movie like he was on ludes. No action… no energy… 2 hours of watching some poor schlep find himself. And how does he find himself? Some comic book anti-hero finds him by causing disasters and waiting for the lone survivor. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Samuel L. Jackson and Bruce Willis should be ashamed of themselves. What a waste of talent. (Not to mention 15 bucks.) Want to get the experience of the movie without going? Take 15 dollars and wipe your ass with it.
I started pulling out nostril hairs just to stay awake.
