A Nazarene with Messianic claims is captured by ghostly seafaring brigands, flogged almost to death & nailed up to the mast, only to be rescued by a weird flouncy brigand.
Two possible titles- both with the same initials
The Passion of the Carribbean/Pirates of the Christ
A spacefaring race abducts one of Earth’s most famous rock’n’roll pianists, and demands our oxygen supply in exchange for him.
Pirates of the Christ
Passion of the Caribbiean
A fab four from Liverpool sing their way through a hostage crisis in an L.A. office tower on Christmas Eve.
Spaceballs of Fire (see above simulpost for next one.)
Die Hard Day’s Night?
A young wizard’s godfather is on the run from soul-sucking ghosts, after he develops a mathematical formula for cheating on the stock market.
The Paper Chasing Amy
Movie star dies in a car accident and must navigate his personal demons in a bizarre afterlife. Meanwhile on Earth his fans must solve deep questions about his putative son.
Harry Potter and the Spanish Prisoner of Azkaban
A ragtag bunch of actors are hoping to be discovered in a community theatre production about one young man’s last chance for love with the girl of his dreams at a party on graduation night.
Can’t Hardly Wait for Guffman
A surreal flick about lost woman with amnesia who is helped by a plucky blond ingenue hired to chauffeur her around 1950s Atlanta in a era of racial tension.
**Mulholland Driving Miss Daisy **
A movie about an illegal car race full of low-down dirty tricks and eccentric characters, one of whom is a swift German woman with a real knack for roulette.
Cannonball Run, Lola, Run
On the run from Union soldiers who murdered his family, Clint Eastwood hides out in Maine with Bette Davis and Lillian Gish.
The Truth About Cats and Dogma
Still open:
A movie about an illegal car race full of low-down dirty tricks and eccentric characters, one of whom is a swift German woman with a real knack for roulette.
Movie star dies in a car accident and must navigate his personal demons in a bizarre afterlife. Meanwhile on Earth his fans must solve deep questions about his putative son.
and mine:
Don Corleone navigates the wilds of the Serengeti to try to return a Coke bottle to civilization.
The Godfather Must be Crazy
An angel shows a suicidal ant what his anthill would have been like were it not for all his good deeds. Another animated masterpiece from Pixar.
It’s a Wonderful Bug’s Life.
Two high-school slackers take a job looking after some very precocious kids, who lead them through downtown Chicago, and then time itself.
Simulpost got ya, that was Canonball Run Lola Run
The Godfathers Must Be Crazy
A drifter named Naomi goes Vegas to become a stripper and lick a brass pole until she is institutionalized with borderline personality disorder in the women’s wing of a mental institution in the 1960s.
It’s a Wonderful Bug’s LIfe
(I can’t get the one with the movie star. I’m trying!)
A blind black man and a deaf white man go to a cabin in the woods and witness a murder committed by demons.
Dang simulposts:
Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventures in Babysitting
Dang simulposts indeed. 
Showgirl, Interrupted.
A poor farming village hires seven warrior-musicians to defend them in this post-apocalpytic tale.
Ooh… the demons part could be a lot of things, but I’m going with
See No Evil Dead, Hear No Evil Dead
Indeed!
Red, White & Blue!