“Big Boo-tay, Big Boo-tay!”
“Are my eyes really blue?”
“This is not good here. I am not killing you. Don’t you understand? You must die! Will you cooperate?!!” - The Producers
-“Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he’d put on a dress and play a girl bunny?” “No.”
-Wayne’s World
“Miss Stoger, my plastic surgeon doesn’t want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.” “Well, there goes your social life.”
-Clueless
“You’re sleeping with one victim, you’re dating another, and you catually found a third.”
-Clay Pigeons
“Whoa, dude! You’re mom’s a serial killer!”
-Serial Mom
Don’t you ever come knocking on my door ever again. I don’t care if you hear a thud coming from my apartment, and then a week later you smell something that can only be the smell of a decaying body, EVEN THEN, don’t come knockin’, you got me?- probably misquoted from As Good As It Gets…
and also from that movie-
JN: What if he pulls the stiff one eye on me?
HH: I’m sorry, the stiff…one eye?!
Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes.
I HAVEN’T HAD THIS MUCH SEX SINCE I WAS A BOY SCOUT LEADER!!! Uh…I mean, at the time, I was dating a lot!
Frank Drebin, from the Naked Gun movies
"God damnit, nothing goes right! (blah blah example) You appoint an ambassador and he leaves the country!"
“I’ve tried it all, nothing works. Lotions, salves, things that vibrate --”
“Frank!”
convict: “Prison changes a man.”
hero: “How so?”
convict: “He used to be white.”
black man: “I used to be a drummer for the Osmonds.”
convict: “That’s right, and he can make you feel pain like you’ve never felt before!”
hero: “I know, I remember the Osmonds.”
“My uncle lived in America for a time.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes, but he was one of the lucky ones. He managed to escape in a balloon during the Jimmy Carter administration.”
“Never mind, I’ll get it; probably for me.” I use this everywhere, especially when the microwave goes off.
“I just want to thank you and your lovely wife for having us over last night. Cheryl and I had a wonderful time. And the beef stroganof was marvelous!”
“… We… didn’t have dinner last night.”
“What? Then where the hell was I? And who’s this Cheryl person?”
“Jumping Jesus! They’re back!”
“Ever since I’ve met you, I’ve been noticing things that I never knew were there before. Baby birds chirping, dew glistening on a newly formed blade of grass, stoplights.”
Big pile of laundry on the seat next to him. “After I finished doing my laundry, I went to headquarters. My boss was already on the scene.”
“Somebody tied this note to a window and threw it into the rock garden!”
And I can’t even remember the good lines.
“Go ahead, make my day.”
“Do you feel lucky punk?”
And everything here:
Barry: Holy shee-ite! What the fuck is that?
Dick: It’s the new Belle and Sebastian–
Rob Gordon: It’s the record we’ve been listenting to and enjoying, Barry.
Barry: Well, that’s unfortunate… because it sucks ASS!
Barry:…Fuck them, let ‘em riot. We’re fuckin’ Sonic Death Monkey.
“That a sharp little guy. Who is he?”
“That is one of the worst student’s we’ve ever had.”
“I like your nurse’s outfit.”
“They’re O.R. scrubs.”
“O, R they?”
“Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you, I’m out!”
“That’s what distinguishes us from the animals: our ability to accessorize.”
“If you can’t say something nice, come sit by me.”
“All gay men are named Mark, Rick or Steve.”
“Very good, Annelle, spoken like a true smart-ass!”
(Olympia Dukakis got all the best lines.)
“The London Underground is not a political movement!”
“Hey! I’ll swallow your soul! I’ll swallow your soul! I’ll swallow your soul!”
“Head them off at the pass? I hate that cliche!”
“You’re gonna need a bigger boat.”
“Groovy.”
“No ticket.”
“Your gonna need a bigger boat” reminds me of “Smile, you son of a bitch!” which reminds me of “Get away from her you bitch!”
“It’s Mega Maid sir. She’s gone from suck, to blow!”
“I can see your Schwartz is as big as mine.”
“1-2-3-4-5? That’s the kinda combination an idiot puts on his luggage.”
“Qualifications?”
“Rape, murder, arson, and rape.”
“You said rape twice.”
“I like rape.”
“It’s alright. It’s just a man and a horse being hung.”
“Sherman!”
“HEY!”
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
“Suck me beautiful.”
“Is good. Smell.”
“Your not a fish, your a man. You walk on two legs… Homo Erectus. Did I say homo? I didn’t mean that!”
I could go on for hours.
“Tell me Harold, how many of these suicides have you performed”
“An accurate number would be difficult to gauge”
“Well, just give me a rought estimate”
“A rough estimate?”
“MMhmm”
“I’d say…15”
“15”
“Thats a rought estimate”
“Were they all done for your mothers benefit”
“No. No. I would notsay benefit”
"He’s a cheap, lying, no good, rotten, four flushing, low life, snake licking, dirt eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood sucking, dog kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fatass, bug eyed, stiff legged, spider lipped, worm headed sack of monkey shit.
Well, it IS the holiday season. 
“Round up the usual suspects.”*
“I’m mad as hell, and i’m not going to take it anymore.”*
“Training, Sir”…“What kind of training, soldier?” … 'Ahhhrrrrrmmmy training."*
“I’ll bet you’ve never had the Aunt Jemima treatment before, have you?”*
Motioning to the rabbit bones on the plate “Her name was Stella.”*
*all quotes approximate
This is the eighteen-eighties. You gotta date 'em and date 'em and sometimes even marry 'em before they –
We’re gonna need a bigger boat!
“I’ll be back.”
- Like you don’t already know
“Gentlemen! You can’t fight in here, this is the War Room!”
- Dr. Strangelove
“Ice cream Mandrake? Children’s ice cream?”
- again, Dr. Strangelove
“When the snow thaws in April, we’ll get it out.” pause “What the Hell do you think we’re gonna do about it!”
- Burt Lancaster telling off Dean Martin in Airport
“Workshed!”
- Evil Dead II
Little Tommy Dagget, How I loved listening to your sweet prayers night after night, then you’d jump into bed so afraid that I was hideing under there. And I WAS.
-Satan, The Prophesy
“Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world I feel like I can’t take it, like my heart’s going to cave in.”
-American Beauty
“Self improvement is masturbation”
-Fight Club
“Maybe I should rob the FoodWay so they’ll send me home. I could shoot the manager while I’m at it, kind of like a bonus.”
-The Shawshank Redemption
“You don’t know how lucky you are being a monkey. Because consciousness is a terrible curse. I think. I feel. I suffer. And all I ask in return is the opportunity to do my work. And they won’t allow it… because I raise issues.”
-Being John Malkovich
He’s not the Messiah. He’s a very naughty boy!
We were led by a star.
Led by a bottle, you mean.
Brian: Excuse me. Are you the Judean People’s Front?
Reg: Fuck off! We’re the People’s Front of Judea
Brian: You are all individuals!
The Crowd: We are all individuals!
Brian: You have to be different!
The Crowd: Yes, we are all different!
Small lonely voice: I’m not!
Brian: I’m not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand?! Honestly!
Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.
Brian: What?! Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!
Followers: He is! He is the Messiah!
Brian: Now, fuck off!
[silence]
Arthur: How shall we fuck off, O Lord?