“Vodka martini! Shaken! Not stirred!”
“I suggest we kill it quickly before it tries to make friends with us!” Withnail and I? Ranks up there with “We want fine wines, we want the finest wines known to humanity, we want them here and we want them now.” and the very creepy “I’m preparing myself to forgive you”, both from the same film.
It only hurts when I laugh.
I haven’t had the opportunity to use this Blackadder quote yet, but I live for the day when the opportunity presents itself.
“Baldric, eternity with Beelzebub himself and all his minions will seem like a picnic compared to five minutes with me and this pencil.”
Cave Diem! Carpe Canem!
Oh, I’m loving this thread! You guys had me laughing the whole way through!
“You silly Eeenglish pig-dog” (w/fake French accent The Holy Grail
“Your father was a hamster and your mother smells of elderberries” ibid.
“Do you mind if I ass-k you some questions?”
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
“Do NOT go in there!!” ibid (you have to wave your arms around with this one, like your dispelling a foul odor)
Most of these should be self-explanatory.
Hey Guy, love the Bugs Bunny quotes!
Jodih, my husband and I have just gotten into MST3000! They are such a hoot! My husband, Mr. Reserved-and-Quiet, laughs himself silly watching it!
Carpe Diem!
You talking to me? You must be talking to me cuz there’s no body else here. Taxi Driver? (Whenever I can)
What do you mean you don’t tip you cheap bastard throw a dollar on the table. Reservoir Dogs ( When some cheap fuck tries to stiff the waitress, undertips, or just about any time I can get away with it.)
You belong to me. The Sea Witch in Little Mermaid. (Whenever I do a favor for someone.)
Vivir con miedo es vivir a medias. [A life lived in fear is a life half lived.] Strictly ballroom. (Said out loud either to myself or other people when scared to try something new.)
Listen to the rythm. Strictly Ballroom
(Said with a very bad Spanish accent when trying to teach someone to dance.)
Bow to her. Bow to the Queen. The Princess Bride (When referring to my friend who sometimes has a way of barking orders.)
Really fast does not mean warp speed. The Lost Boys. (Whenever someone is driving ridiculously fast.)
Bitch, I hate that bitch. Southpark, ok so it’s not a movie. (When I see someone I am not particularly fond of)
more to follow… as I use them and remember to post.
Great thread!
Whenever my wife and I have to choose between one thing or another, the conversation always seems to degenerate into:
“The pond… or the pool… the pond would be good for you.” (Caddyshack)
When someone exhibits ridiculous wishful thinking, I can’t help but say:
“…And maybe I’ve got a milkbone” (Ghostbusters)
And when someone screws up, I always say:
“What did you DO, Ray?” (Ghostbusters, again)
When someone asks me how I want my food prepared:
“Mashed together in a bucket… with the eggs on top… and don’t skimp on the pate!” (Monty Python’s Meaning of Life)
And when getting ready for a long trip:
“It’s 110 miles to Chicago; we’ve got a full tank of gas, a half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses. Hit it!” (The Blues Brothers)
Not to mention:
“Who wants an Orange Whip? Orange whip? Orange whip?” (IBID)
“Oh, we’ve got both kinds. Country and Western” (IBID)
“We’re on a mission from God” (IBID)
We are the wierdos mister. The Craft. (When ever warned to watch out for wierdos.)
I could eat a peach for hours. Face Off
(Before taking the first bite.)
Are you threatening me? Beavis as Cornholio
(When it makes the least sense. It’s funnier that way.)
Danger, I laugh in the face of danger. The Lion King. (Usually once I have started doing something incredibly stupid and dangerous.)
What we have here is a failure to communicate. ??? (When someone has no clue what I am talking about.)
I stole the baby! I stole the baby from the stupid diakini! sp? Willow. (Usually the first time I hold a new baby.)
You’re not trying to ignore me are you?
Fatal Attraction. (If I have played phone tag for a while. This is one of the messages I may leave on the machine.)
Ruuuuuunnnnn Foooorrrreeeesssstttttt!
Forest Gump. (Whenever I have to tell someont to run.)
You cannot kill me! I am the daughter of Satan!!! Daughters of Satan (A really bad B-movie I saw in high school. A phrase I use when playing video games.)
Hey man, am I driving ok?
Yo man, I think we are parked!
Cheech & Chong Up in Smoke
(When driver makes a really stupid mistake.)
We are the wierdos mister. The Craft. (When ever warned to watch out for wierdos.)
I could eat a peach for hours. Face Off
(Before taking the first bite.)
Are you threatening me? Beavis as Cornholio
(When it makes the least sense. It’s funnier that way.)
Danger, I laugh in the face of danger. The Lion King. (Usually once I have started doing something incredibly stupid and dangerous.)
What we have here is a failure to communicate. ??? (When someone has no clue what I am talking about.)
I stole the baby! I stole the baby from the stupid diakini! sp? Willow. (Usually the first time I hold a new baby.)
You’re not trying to ignore me are you?
Fatal Attraction. (If I have played phone tag for a while. This is one of the messages I may leave on the machine.)
Ruuuuuunnnnn Foooorrrreeeesssstttttt!
Forest Gump. (Whenever I have to tell someont to run.)
You cannot kill me! I am the daughter of Satan!!! Daughters of Satan (A really bad B-movie I saw in high school. A phrase I use when playing video games.)
Hey man, am I driving ok?
Yo man, I think we are parked!
Cheech & Chong Up in Smoke
(When driver makes a really stupid mistake.)
Cool Hand Luke, I think.
“Round up all the usual suspects…”
(Casablanca)
“Awwww…have I interuppted Happy Time?” (Tommy Boy)
“Vaughn’s first pitch…juuuuuust a little outside…” (Major League)
“CHARLIE DON’T SURF!!!”
(Apocalypse Now)
“OK, who stepped in the dinosaur shit?”
(Jurassic Park)
…ok, I made that one up, but it could’ve happened
“…send lawyers, guns, and money…”
Warren ZevonAdding to my earlier post…
“Into the mud, scum queen!” --Man with Two Brains (when pushing a scum queen into the mud)
“Oh Bob, this is awful!” --Down By Law (when eating bad food)
“Hey buddy, did you just see a BRIIIIIGHT LIIIIIGHT?” --Terminator (when something sudden happens)
“WE are the music makers, and WE are the dreamers of the dreams” --Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (when someone lets logic get in the way of a good time)
“I haven’t seen such a beautiful bubble since I was a child!” --An old WB animated short subject, cartoon Peter Lorre admiring a striptease.(Appropriate for all occasions)
“Anything is peaceful from one thousand, three hundred and fifty-three feet.”
“Cause I’m a blonde, B-L-O-N-D” In Earth Girls are easy, actually from a song by Julie Brown. Used after a blonde joke, or when I’ve had a more than usual blonde moment (and yes, I’m a blonde)
It’s dead, Jim - Star Trek, of course. Whenever something has failed.
I don’t usually pick up lines from movies, but I’ve had a lot of friends who do, then I pick up the line from them. This thread is making me misty-eyed, remembering all of my friends.
Mastery is not perfection but a journey, and the true master must be willing to try and fail and try again
Another Simpsons quote…
I call my husband my Homey; not that’s he’s as stupid as Homer, but… well… um… anyhoo, once we walked into a store that features lots of expensive pointless little doo-dads and dust collectors, and the item that he instantly fell in love was a clock or paperweight or something with a little plastic “aquarium” and little plastic fake fish bobbing around in it. The neat thing was, the fish had magnets or weights or something in them that caused them to bob along the bottom in the gravel and along the sides of the tank kinda like a real fish does, and their little tails moved back and forth to give the illusion of swimming.
I thought they were cute, but my husband was enthralled, and he said, in the most awed voice I’ve ever heard, “That is the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen!” I couldn’t help myself. I blurted out, trying to sound equally awed, “The bird is drinking the water!” A reference to the Simpsons episode where Homer’s brother Herb tries to give the family a presentation for his idea of a baby translator, but Homer is more interested in Herb’s little bobbing dunking bird toy. “It’s drinking the water!”
So “The bird is drinking the water!” has become my code phrase for, “Ok, it’s neat, but take it down a notch or two, ok?” Ain’t I mean?
“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy
It was, “I’m a blonde, B-L-A-N-D,” wasn’t it? If not, it should have been. Also the “It’s only a flesh wound,” line is from The Producers. I don’t remember it from The Holy Grail, but even if it was there, it was in The Producers first.
Other good lines from The Producers:
“I’m wearing a cardboard belt!” (Anytime I’m feeling broke.)
“I’m in pain, I’m wet, and I’m still hysterical!” (When things get overwhelming.)
“I fell on my keys.” (After doing something clumsy.)
“Don’t help me.” (When someone’s “help” is actually making your situation worse.)
And of course the unforgettable song:
When it’s springtime for Hitler and Germany,
It’s winter for Poland and France!
…
That’s the way that it is on this bitch of an earth."
– Pozzo, Waiting For Godot
“He’s only MOSTLY dead.” --The Princess Bride (used to describe most of my plants)
“I am so smart! S-M-R-T!” --Homer Simpson (used when I figure something out)
Whenever my boyfriend and I make soup, one or both of us always says “No soup for you!” like the Soup Nazi from “Seinfeld.”
“I enjoy pushing lawn-mowing machine so Grandpa’s hyena don’t get disturbed.” --Sixteen Candles (when I’m getting ready to mow the lawn)
The “It’s only a flesh wound” line was used in Holy Grail early on when King Arthur is battling the Black Knight. Despite losing all of his limbs, the Knight keeps egging Arthur on, all the while insisting he isn’t really hurt.
“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy
Good Heavens, Greg Charles! You need to watch Holy Grail again! Pay attention to the scene with King Arthur fighting the Black Knight.
Almost any line from a Lethal Weapon movie.
“We’re gonna have lawyers here. It’ll be a fun time.”
–R.R.S.
Dammit, Janet!
(My curse of choice.)
How forceful you are, Brad. Such a perfect specimen of manhood. So. . . dominant.
(Anytime my boyfriend takes charge 
I don’t care where you come as long as you clean it up. I don’t care if you clean it up as long as you come!
(Anytime at all!)
– All from RHPS
Men are rats. Worse than that they’re fleas on rats. They’re ameobas on fleas on rats. They’re too low for even the dogs to bite. The only man a girl can trust is her daddy.
– Grease
(When men act like rats; or, all the friggin’ time!)
Hi! I’m Larry!
– Pinky & the Brain
(Referring to my friend Gaelle from St. Lary, France. I’m Pinky & Livia is the Brain.)
I’m so glad you came back tonight. . . I have to grow up tomorrow.
– Peter Pan
(I’ve only said that once, when a guy told me that if he was Peter Pan, I’d be his happy thought.)
No sex now, eating.
– Stolen and paraphrased from The Simpsons
(When do you think I’d say that?)
Are you worried about male pattern baldness?
– Home Improvement
(One of the more common quotes cited in a game my friends play. You pick the most obscure line from a recent tv show you can think of and see who catches on.)
I know where we can get some great blueberry pie.
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.
– Henry David Thoreau
When someone asks something like, “Who would do that?” I say, “Mr. T” (From “16 Candles” Molly Ringwald’s little sister says, “Who would marry her?” and the bratty brother says, “Mr. T”)
“What do we got that’s good?” (Apollo 13) When someone is complaining about multiple ailments or problems
If I’m writing a check and someone else looking over my shoulder, I will say, “Pay…to the order of…IronBalls McGinty…one dollar and NINE CENTS!!!” (The Jerk)
“NOBODY sleeps naked in this house!!” (Raising Arizona) Whenever anyone says the word “naked”