I just watched Planes, Trains, and Automobiles last night and realized that one quote I use comes from that movie (obviously, I use it whenever anyone describes me as “unique”): “What’s ‘unique’? Latin for ‘asshole’?”
My sister uses another line from that movie, obviously whenever anyone takes something of hers without asking: “You STOLE it! He STOLE it!” Of course this is accompanied by much finger pointing and arm waving.
And, in an uncomfortable situation: “How about those Bears?” “Hell of a game, hell of a game!”
Lots of fun lines from that movie
“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy
When someone is ranting at me I return with the line the Washington bureaucrat used when Bugs Bunny was bawling him out: “STOP STEAMING UP MY GLASSES!”
Whenever I’m being introduced to someone I’ll never have to talk to again I borrow this Elmer Fudd line: “Elmer J. Fudd, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht.”
Here are some quotes I use all of the time, can you tell I’m a movie junkie. Most of these have been mentioned already, but there are some new ones too.
“It’s got raisins in it, You like raisins.”
Better Off Dead-one of the best movies ever made-IMHO
Used when someone asks what is in something.
“Laugh it up furball!”
I really don’t think I need to tell any of you where this one is from
Whenever anyone laughs at you, not with you.
“Here’s something for the ole sweettooth sunny!”
The 'Burbs-only the greatest movie ever made-IMHO
Used whenever I give anything to my brother, who also LOVES this flick.
“'Bout a 10 on the tension scale there Reub!”
The 'Burbs
Used whenever anyone gets a little too tense
“Tempting…but no”
Willow
Whenever I’m offered anything I wouldn’t possibly ever want or use.
“Run away, run away!”
Monte Python’s Holy Grail
Whenever I come across a situation I don’t want to deal with.
“I was born a poor, black man.”
The Jerk
When I am asked to tell a little bit about myself, at stupid mixers and parties, at intro time.
“I’m not even supposed to be here today!”
Clerks
Anytime I feel like is applicable.
“Bunch of savages in this town!”
Clerks
Use this one constantly at work.
“No time for love Dr. Jones”
Indiana Jones and also Clerks-both are great movies.IMHO
I use this when somone is clearly trying to be rude and piss me off.
I believe it’s “It’s a mere flesh wound” in a heavy brit accent.
Homer: But Marge everytime I learn something new it pushes something old out of my brain. Remember that time I took that home wine making class? …and I forgot how to drive?
Marge: Homer, you were drunk!
Homer: And how!
“Eeeeexxcelent”, tapping finger tips and speaking in a dasterdly tone, ala Mr Burns.
Vincent Vega in Pulp fiction: “Don’t be rude, drink your drink, but do it quickly.” Anytime the situation gets a bit tense.
“My mom and dad are gonna be really mad” ala Matthew Lillards character in Scream, spoken as he’s bleeding to death after a killing spree.
“I’m not a smart man, but i know what _____ is” ala Forrest Gump.
“So I sucked a few dicks…
A few?” Clerks.
“I’m leaving!
Don’t suck any dicks on the way out!” Clerks
The facts expressed here belong to everybody, the opinions to me. The distinction is
yours to draw…
“And two hard-boiled eggs.” From the stateroom sceene of “A Night At the Opera”. Used whenever someone lists a whole bunch of things.
“Janet! Brad! Rocky! Ungh!” Rocky Horror - used whenever more than two people are listed off.
Or, from Monty Python on TV,
“Oh, intercourse the bloody penguin!” from the Penguin on the Tele skit. Rather than saying “Oh, fuck it!”
(crowd) “Yes, we are all different”
(individual)“I’m not”. - from Life of Brian - whenever I see a whole bunch of people all doing the same thing
“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”
Dan Quayle
“Everything you’re doing is bad. I want you to know this.”
From “The Producers” (in bad German accent):
“Zis is not working. I am not killing you.”
From “Repo Man”:
“No Commies in my car. And no Christians, neither!”
“Plate…shrimp…plate of shrimp”
“Everybody could stand 50 chest x-rays a year. They oughta have 'em too.”
“A friend will help you move house. A best friend will help you move a body.”–Alexi Sayle
" He must have called the umpire a cocksucker." Bull Durham. (Whenever I see a player get thrown out of a game.)
" I’ve got the lucky ticket." Willie Wonka
(Whenever I buy a lottery ticket.)
“He ate the left side of the menu…” Diner.
Whenever a friend eats too much.
“Just say the words, Modell, I want your sandwich.” Diner. When someone keeps beating around the bush and won’t ask a direct question of " Can I have some of your sandwich…"
“Whatja do , wake up today and say " Today I’m gonna ruin some man’s life?”
Romancing the Stone. (Whenever things are not going my way.)
My favorite line in MST is when a very young Clint Eastwood has a walk thru part in a laboratory scene. All of five or six seconds on screen. One of the MST crew cracks something like, " He’ll never make it in this town. You punk."
WE are all pilgrims on the same journey - but some pilgrims have better road maps.