Oh, cute, Kent has his name on his liscence plate.
My mother does the same thing to my underwear?
You have liscence plates on your underwear? How do you sit?
– Real Genius
Vegas, baby. VEGAS!
– Swingers
You’re so money, and you don’t even know it
– ibid.
What, were you afraid House of Pain was gonna step to you?!?
– ibid.
Come get some.
– Army of Darkness
Good, bad, I’m the one with the gun.
– ibid.
“It hoits! It hoits!” West Side Story (whenever anyone tells me something won’t hurt.)
“Any hat.” Tasha Yar, Star Trek: TNG (Whenever someone says I do something at the drop of a hat.)
“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy
It’s from the Simpson’s:
There’s no justice like angry mob justice.
(Whenever the situation is getting ugly.)
“I’m depraved on account I’m deprived!” West Side Story (whenever I’m accused of not being altogether there)
“I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy
KnowhutImean, Vern? Ernest (goes to Camp, Saves Christmas, joins the Army… you pick)
“You compared Nazis to Democrats?” – Patton, paraphrased
“Now, I know you don’t smoke weed. But we’re gonna get you high today. Cause it’s Friday, you ain’t got a job, and you got shit to do” – Friday
“You got knocked the fuck out, man!” --ibid
“You want some of Deboe?” --ibid
“As long as they don’t send us to that horrible, horrible planet of the apes. Wait a minute… Statue of Liberty. That was our planet! You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!” --Homer Simpson
“I was cured, all right” --Clockwork Orange, the coolest movie ever made
“Greed, for lack of a better word, is good” --I think Michael Douglas in Wall Street
“Puttin’ on the foil, coach. Want some?” (when asked what are you doing)- Slapshot
“The horror, the horror…” (after a bad day) - Apocalypse Now
“Pay no attention to Mr. Squirrel, here…” (when distracting someone while you do something undesirable to them) - Caddyshack
“Convicted? No, never convicted.” (when asked the question at Customs) - The Blues Brothers
“Sometimes there just aren’t enough rocks.” (when out of options) - Forrest Gump
On Pain:
“Take the pain!” When someone says ouch–from Platoon
“Life is pain, get used to it.” Ditto–from The Long Kiss Goodnight
These are great for stubbed toes and the like. Use them at home or at the office.
My wife insists that I stop using these with our 8-month–old daughter when she cries.
There is no course of life so weak and sottish as that which is managed by order, method, and discipline. -Montaigne
All Simpsons quotes are perfect for any occasion. Same goes for Monty Python; some of my personal faves:
“An argument isn’t just saying ‘no it isn’t.’”
“Yes it is.”
“No it isn’t!”
“You second-hand electric donkey bottom-biter.”
“She was my best friend.”
“Oh, Mother, don’t be so sentimental. Things explode every day.”
Any of the above can be used for any reason or no reason at all.
One movie quote that I’m surprised nobody has mentioned is from A Few Good Men and is great to use when you believe you are right but just can’t think of how to back up your claim:
“The truth? You can’t HANDLE the truth!”
“Don’t worry, you’ll be back on your knees in no time.” --As Good as it Gets
“My mom died, a fluke accident in a routine liposuction.” -Clueless
“No…YES!!”-Night at the Roxbury
“I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” - Warren Zevon
dhanson said - “Convicted? No, never convicted.” (when asked the question at Customs) - The Blues Brothers
Sorry, but that’s a “Stripes” quote (Lord help me for knowing that one!)
And the bast line for appraising anything that is either useless or redundant… “Ours goes to eleven.” (paraphrased from “This is Spinal Tap”)
A couple of my favorites:
(In a squeaky, annoying voice) “People? I ain’t people! I am a shimmering, glowing star in the cinema foimament. It says so, right there.”
When I’m asked to predict completion schedules, I start talking like Yoda and say, “Difficult to say. Always changing the future is.”
The quote from Mr. Mom is “220, 221, whatever it takes”…not 240.
Another quoate I use (from Blazing Saddles), in my best Slim Pickens whine: “What in the Wide, Wide World of Sports is going on here?”
From a Bugs Bunny cartoon: “The South Pole? Ooooooh, I’m DYIN’” (this is really effective when watching the X-Files movie, when Mulder is given the location of Scully, and the slip of paper says she’s at 95 degrees South)
From Willy Wonka: “There’s no earthly way of knowing, what direction we are going.” (said when my kids ask where the car is headed)
From Robocop: “I LIKE it” (usable any time)
From Becket: “Will no one rid us of this mettlesome priest?” (said whenever someone is aggravating me)
From the Kung Fu TV series, for use with subordinates at work:
“You listen but do not hear, Grasshopper.”
From any old movie with an aristocratic villain, for use with any adversary:
where have you guys been all my life…I love all those old fliks:
the burbs,lost boys,F>Beuller,16 candles, willow was awesome,and better off dead was a classic, but I thought I was the only one who thought so!
clerks and grosse point blank are recent faves,
quotes i use incl:
“thats gonna leave a mark”- when I hurt myself in public
AAAAARmt training sir! -when asked what are you doing.
IS that a pledge pin on your uniform???(mock angrily) when someone is wearing something unusual
I sat we go THISA WAY!! when debating routes to drive (its from WILLOW- I do it with a funny accent)
if a man gets me flustered…I fan mysely and say in a southern accent “well ah do declare!”
if a stranger ( a man 
) offers assistance I say (again with the accent) “I have always depended on the kindness of strangers”
when expressing regrets over past decisions, I mumble “I coulda been a contenda”
From Life of Brian:
“‘Making it worse’? How could it be any worse? Jehovah! Jehovah!”
From PCI:
“Don’t be that guy.”
(Useful when someone is doing something they think is cool, but it’s cliche.) (Unfortunately, it gives away that I watched this awful film.)
From Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life:
“It’s only wafer thin.”
(When trying to convince someone to have seconds.)
From They Live! (I think):
“I came to kick butt and chew gum, and I’m all out of gum!”
From The Blue’s Brothers:
“This is glue. Strong stuff.”
From The Addam’s Family (TV):
“You rang?”
Carpe hoc!
(The Artist formerly known as pathunt)
Well, who’d’a thunk we woulda needed a Part II on this thread? It’s getting way long, so let’s go ahead and move it to a new spot.
-Melin
Board-Goddess-In-Training
Well, for the immediate purpose it needs to just roll on…
“Stellllllll-aaaaaah” - Streetcar named Desire
“I couldah been a contendah” -On the Waterfront
“I’m an excellent driver.” -Rainman
“Get back here, I’ll bite off your leg!” -Monty Python’s Holy Grail
Now when someone keep droning on about boring stories and details I don’t want to hear i say “And this one time, at band camp…”
Don’t let the loveless ones sell you a world wrapped in grey.