Movies that couldn't possibly stand up to their titles

Cafe Society
1

The other day I was watching The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies–well, to be accurate, I was fast-forwarding through The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies–and started thinking about movies whose titles are infinitely better than the movie could ever be.

But here’s the catch: in this thread you have to make up your own for every real one you mention. Here’s mine. I forget why this occurred to me, but I’ve been carrying it around for a while. I have to plot synopsis; it doesn’t really need one. But if anyone wants to suggest a plot for it, I’m all ears:

The Ebonic Plague.

2

Sharks in Venice, the cover art of which depicts exactly that.

3

The Greatest Story Ever Told. Sorry, I’m not clever enough to come up with a fake one.

4

I’m going to cheap out here.

Real: History of the World, Part I

Fake: History of the World, Part II

:wink:

5

The Neverending Story. It ends, dammit.

6

I don’t recall seeing any megalomaniacal Telecom staff in Lord of The Rings…

7

How about Naked Lunch?

8

A little simpler -

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil

A good movie, surely, entertaining and lively, but it was way simpler than good and evil. I expected angels and demons. I got Southerners. :wink:

9

I’m reliably informed there are at least two things wrong with the title of that film. :smiley:

10

The Naked City

Fake: Lesbian Spank Inferno. :wink:

11

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is on IMDB lists as being one of the crappiest movies ever in the history of ever… and besides this being a fair ranking, the title is a pretty inaccurate description of the “film”.

okay, so, making one up that can’t live up to its name… Kate Winslet and Angelina Jolie in “Fully Clothed” :wink:

12

I immediately thought of “Incredibly Strange Creatures” when I saw the thread title. Better names would be “The Incredibly Strange People Who Became Mixed-Up and Stopped Watching This Movie” and “The Incredibly Strange Pile of Celluloid That Stopped Gave Up on Being Coherent and Became Some Sort of Blurry Horror Musical Thing.”

I haven’t seen “I Spit on Your Grave,” but the title is a hard act to follow.

Fake movies that would probably be a letdown:

“Drug Trip: The Movie”
“Scientologists Gone Wild”

13

There were movies entitled The Horror of Haunted Hill, and The Legend of Hell House. So The Horror of Hell House would have to be the scariest movie of all time.

14

And how can there be a Neverending Story II?

15

I would sooo rent that! :slight_smile:
How about Everything you wanted to know about about sex *but were afraid to ask. It wasn’t, I wasn’t and it should never involve Woody Allen.

and for a fake thaclassic '50s slapstick comedy Those Wacky Amish!

16

Attack of the Fifty Foot Woman couldn’t live up to its title or, sadly, the wonderful poster:

Of course, they had practically zero budget. They used what little they had effectively, but it was still pretty awful, and the writing and acting weren’t all that good. Even with a bigger budget, it’d be hard to live up to that poster.
Sadly, the 1993 remake with Darryl Hannah, despite its bigger budget, wasn’t much better. Neither were any of the parodies (Attack of the 60 foor Centerfold and Attack of the 60 foot stripper).

17

But the pre-“women’s lib” subtext, which is very obviously intentional, is brilliant. Its status as a classic well deserved.

18

Not as good as Frankenfish, but still pretty awesome.

19

Actually, that’s one of the few mentioned here that might exceed the title, depending on your sensibilities, I suppose.

20

“Slavegirls From Beyond Infinity” – five or ten minutes in, it quickly devolves into a remake of “The Most Dangerous Game.”

Made up: “Fighting Hottie Feminists in Saudi Arabia.” You know you’d watch it.