Pursuant to my comment in thye newest Matrix thread, I was wondering if anyne had some ideas about movies that would be horribly bad but made immeasurably more entertaining (at least as a five minute clip) if they were dubbed and done anime-style.
My reccomendation: The Matrix: Reloaded
I can just see this dubbed into egrish anime-style.
Neo: Waaaaaaaaaaah! Suuupaaaa Burazingu Neo kicku! Super Neo furyingu! [Super Blazing Neo Kick! Super Neo Flying!
Trinity (in super-kawai little girl voice): Neo! Aimasu! [Love!]
“The Usual Suspects” would be great done by the guys who did Cowboy Bebop. I just don’t think there would be any point to it as the original is damn near perfect.
You’re looking for movies that are bad which could be improved a lot by being done anime style. frankily, there are a lot of candidates in the softcore erotic thriller category. Erotic thrillers typically have problems with budgets that make them visually dull – animation could solve that, since it costs no more to draw a cel of a castle or a spaceship than it does to draw a cel of a motel room. So animation could give them a good “look.”
Frex, the erotic thriller “Over the Wire” would make a pretty good sexy comedy with a Trigun feel to it (the hero of the piece is also a total idiot). It’s about an ex-cop working as a lineman who overhears a woman plotting to murder his sister – but he doesn’t know which sister is plotting to murder which sister.
Actually there’s a ton of them-- the Roger Corman crapfest Warlords, the 50s Esther Williams musical Jupiter’s Darling, the 50s Arabian nights adventure “Son of Sinbad,” the Simandl crapfests “Sleeping Dogs” and “Fatal Conflict” the 80s sword and sandal flick Barbarian Queen, and another erotic thriller “Forbidden Sins.”
I’ll explain why on each and every one of them if anyone wants to know.
All right, you bastards. So nobody wants me to explain why. I’ll explain ANYWAY! that’ll show you!
“Jupiter’s Darling” was one of a string of big-budget musicals that almost bankrupted its movie studio (Paramount, I think). It starred Howard Keel as Hannibal the Conqueror and Esther Williams as Amytis, the fiance of the Roman emperor. It was a romantic comedy, and the relationship between Hannibal and Amytis is the crux of the story. Amytis sneaks out of Rome to spy on Hannibal and is captured. He is ready to put her to death at first, but rleents and next thing you know they’re in love. As a suspected spy and a prisoner she gets tied up, etc., every so often, whic creates the dom/sub scene, and there’s evne a kissing scene involving edge play with a large knife.
You couldn ‘t remake the film nowadays without breaking the bank, but of course it’s as cheap to have drawings set in ancient Rome as in modern times via anime. And the big problem with Ju8piter’s Darling is that they couldn’t really get into the dom/sub/bondage aspect of Hannibal and Amytis’ relationship back in the 50s when it was made. But we all know the Japanese would jump right on that aspect.
“Warlords” is a Roger Corman piece of crap about a postapocalypse world where grubby guys hang out in the desert and chase each other with cars and shoot each other a lot. The chief bad guy buys guns and stuff from the second worst bad guy for his army of mutants, and also collects luscious young women to serve as his harem.
Not a bad plot concept, but the budget on this one is so piss-poor that it’s hard to disguise what it is – a bunch of b-movie actors hanging out in the desert and shooting up junk cars. I mean, they try but the most imposing building they have is a big tent and you never see more than half a dozen people in a single scene.
Take the same film, animate it, and you have a pretty good little adventure story. And the acting would be more lifelike.
For some reason, I think Lexx would work as an anime, especially the original Tales from a Parallel Universe movies. I worship His Shadow looks like it was made from an anime.
•John Wayne’s The Conquerer.
“I feel this Tartar woman is for me…my blood says ‘take her!’” How could you make dialogue like that any worse?
•Titan A.E.
No offense Mr. Bluth, but…well, OK. Maybe a little offense.
•Monkeybone
Okay, I admit it. I watched it. It was directed by Henry Selick, and it had Rose McGowan as a cat-woman. What the hell was I SUPPOSED to do?
•Cutthroat Island
•Underworld
•The Island of Dr. Moreau
Actually, I think animation is the only way you could make a decent movie out of it. Even better if the Japanese staff totally misconstrues the “moral” of the story and puts a completely different “spin” on things.
•My Fair Lady
OK, it’s not a bad movie, but it’d be fun to see an over-the-top anime version…
“EL-IS-AAAA!”
“HIGGGG-INNNS!”
::London explodes in a chi storm::
