Movies That Would Have Been Better With No Love Interests

Rather than risk a hijack to Movies With No Love Interests, I’ve elected to start a companion thread.

I’ll lead off with Charge of the Light Brigade (1968).

Not only did we have the bloodthirsty, adulterous Misses Duberly, but also a completely unnecessary (and ahistorical) affair between Captain Nolan and the wife of Captain Morris. The movie certainly didn’t need the padded runtime, the love interests did nothing to advance the plot, and the inclusion of these two somewhat prominent female roles was hardly an example of positive representation of women in cinema.

So, neither true, nor useful, nor kind. A distraction from what otherwise might have been a passable anti-war film.

As an honorable mention (as others are free to do as well), I’ll tip my hat to 1983’s Lords of Discipline which, while flawed, did manage to excise a completely useless love interest sub plot that was included in the novel on which it was based, but added nothing to the plot (okay, okay: there was a very contrived explanation incorporating the love interest into the plot, but it was unconvincing and unnecessary).

The Twilight Saga.

Charlie Swan is a small-town sheriff fighting a war on werewolves, aided by his friend, Dr. Cullen, who turns out to be a vampire, but in a good way.

Casino comes to mind. I thought Sharon Stone was horrible in the film.

*Major League. *

It’s a fun movie about baseball. The fact that there’s any scenes with Roger Dorn’s wife drives me up the wall.

Bullitt is a film where lots of people moan about the McQueen/Bisset relationship but I think that it was a vital tool to humanize Bullitt.

pretty much explains the existential difference between the two of then in a sentence. And its rare for a male-centric action film to try to be self-aware.

Ben Affleck’s ‘Pearl Harbor’ came immediately to mind.

The Hobbit.

Star Wars would have been a lot less awkward in retrospect if there hadn’t been a romantic subplot in it.

The Caine Mutiny. I know the love story is in the book too, but it never worked for me in the movie.

Though still flawed, I think “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” would have been much improved with just Indy and ShortRound.
Except for incessant screaming, I don’t think Capshaw added anything to the movie/story (unlike Karen Allen who played a much bigger part of “Raiders”).

Three Days of the Condor is a pretty good thriller that somehow manages to squander the mid-70s Robert Redford and Faye Dunaway in a needless romantic subplot. Not only was their sex scene out of the blue (“We both nearly died at the hands of spies! Let’s fuck!”) but it made two of the most beautiful humans ever look boring.

On the flip side, I was glad A Few Good Men didn’t succumb to the temptation, great as it must have been, to put Tom Cruise and Demi Moore in bed together.

Jaws is a good example of a movie that improved on the book by losing the sex.

**A Journey to the Center of the Earth

From the Earth to the Moon

The Mysterious Island

Three Weeks in a Balloon

Master of the World

Fall of the House of Usher

The Dunwich Horror**

… and all those other adaptations of the works of Poe, Verne, Wells, and Lovecraft where they threw in a spurious “Love Interest”.
The works where the original had a love interest – *Around the World in 80 Days. The Time Machine, * Poe’s “Haunted Lady” stories don’t count, of course.

Even Masque of the Red Death? There wouldn’t have been enough for a feature length film without the Christian martyr/lover sub-plot. Although a dwarf burning alive a guy in a gorilla costume sure was something…

For me, too. Also, I was somewhat aghast at the interaction between Martin Freeman and Zooey Deschanel (as well as between Deschanel and Sam Rockwell) in 2005’s The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

Flyboys, the romance between Rawlings and the french girl was totally superfluous to the story and didn’t add anything worthwhile to the movie

I’ll go with the movie “Magnum Force”, where Dirty Harry has gratuitous sex with a young Japanese woman. I guess to show that he’s not a pansy.

All of the Marx Brothers movies that have them, which IIRC is all of them except Duck Soup. (Am I right, Exapno?)

Dorn’s wife is fine…Its Berengers ex-wife getting back with him that’s a cop out. Like in “Liar Liar”. But in the latters case, I guess they couldn’t think of an ending.

Poor Cary Elwes.

Ice Cold in Alex (John Mills and Sylvia Sims) and The Mercenaries (Rod Taylor and Yvette Mimeux).

Grab some hot sex while on the run from Nazis and Simba rebels … after spending a week in the desert and the jungle? :eek:

Yeccch! No, thanks! (Though I guess there was some making out in both novels on which the movies were based.)