It would have been interesting to know that before watching it. Unfortunately, I didn’t and I’ve zero* intent to wtch it again.
However, I’ll be soon able to explain to the friend I went watching the movie with one of the great mysteries of life : “What Elephant was about, exactly?”
Thanks (No. Seriously. I really wondered.)
Kalifornia. Utterly repellant characters and it doesn’t help when my husband loves to mock me by saying I sound kinda like Juliette Lewis in this. (Why yes, I never did quite lose my southern accent, why do you ask?)
Also Rat Race and It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. (I may be off on the number of Mads in this title.) Just a lot more grating than funny to me. (Weirdly enough, I like the Simpsons parody of World, mainly because that’s as long as I think the orginal movie should have been.)
I so agree with you on this one. Why won’t someone do a Heinlein novel the way he wrote them?
Besides, everyone knows Constantine is the name of the sequel which they improved by removing all references to the matrix world.
The Rules of Attraction. Just repellant, heartless, cold dreck. Not a single likeable character. Stupid, vapid people doing stupid, vapid stuff you don’t give a sh!t about because they’re all so stupid and vapid that you pray for death to claim them, and quickly.
I think I’m one of the few people who feels rather ambivilent about Moulin Rouge. It’s great, sparkling fun the first time you watch it, but it’s a film that doesn’t hold up well to repeat viewing. Watch it two or three times, and you start to notice how shoddily the movie is put together.
What I wanted to know was, after she died in the cave because he was too late to save her {yeah, I just spoiled it: sue me}, after a few days in the desert heat wouldn’t she be a bit, um, whiffy? That scene where he was stumbling around clutching her corpse and staring at the heavens cracked me up - I kept expecting it to segue into a deodorant commercial: “Been rotting in a cave in the desert heat for a week? Now you can help keep the man in your life interested with new Fresho - now with guaranteed post-mortem action! Fresho - keeps you fresh while you slowly cool! Stay fresh! Stay Fresho!”
The Sound of Music. Generally, I like musicals but this movie had me cheering for the Gestapo.
Bridget Jones Diary. I grant you, I’m not exactly the target audience, but I walked out of the room after 30 minutes of my housemate playing this.
There’s an old joke about a summer-stock performance of The Diary of Anne Frank that was SO BAD that, when the soldiers searched the house, someone in the audience shouted “They’re in the attic!”
How the Grinch Stole Christmas and The Cat In The Hat. Ted Geisel’s (aka Dr. Seuss) wife should be cast bodily into Hell for so blatantly whoring her late husband’s work for the sake of a few extra dollars. Those movies are crawling sacks of shit.
And I know I’m going to upset a lot of people when I say this, but I can’t stand Dr. Strangelove. Gahhh, it bores me to TEARS!! Much as I love Kubrick’s work, that and Eyes Wide Shut are just *so *crappy.
Oh, yeah, and Quintet. That one is the worst movie I must watch every time Fox Movie Channel airs it, because the ruinous city in which it takes place (actually the remains of Expo '67) is just so damn cool. I’ve seen it five times in the past two years and I still don’t get it, though.
Right off the top of my head I’d list Clerks, Mallrats and Chasing Amy. I’m tempted to say anything directed by Kevin Smith but I haven’t seen all of his films. From what I’ve heard Dogma and **Jay and Bob… ** are really bad films too, and I strongly suspect that’s true (I won’t be seeing them to find out for myself).
Juvenile shit jokes only go so far (nowhere–with me anyway).
Yay! 4 pages in, and nobody’s mentioned mine:
Face/Off for being determinedly, aggressively, stupid.
First Knight for crapping all over anything’s that good about Arthurian legends. For inventing the one-handed crossbow as a substitute in the absence of firearms.
Dogma - I saw it just two days ago - is utterly terrible. The only reason I watched it to the end was because I had to for a film class. The acting and dialogue is some of the worst I’ve ever seen in a theatrical movie.
This is actually one of the only movies (even counting bad ones) that I can actually say that I hate. I think its own reputation killed it, since I was expecting to like it and instead found it to be utter crap.
Well, of the movies so far, some have been brilliant works of art (Lost in Translation, Magnolia), some have just been vastly overrated (**Moulin Rouge, My Big Fat Greek Wedding), some have been fairly offensive drek (Bruce Almighty), and some have just been all around bad (Anchorman). Punch Drunk Love I wanted to like, but I just didn’t get it. Didn’t hate it either, though.
In fact, although I’ve seen plenty of movies that insulted my inteligence, desecrated source material, besmirched cherished ideals and left me feeling like I’d been shat on in the theater, I rarely get worked up over them for very long. I’m pretty lazy; it’s not like I would have done anything worthwhile with those hours anyway. I can’t even remember most of the movies I’ve seen and hated.
One I remember is Stigmata. The blatant anti-Catholicism and phony mysticism really pissed me off, and still does. I come close to hating that movie.
Still, only one piece of cinema has left a permanant scar on my soul. Only one movie has the power to leave me angry and depressed for days after seeing it. Only one movie do I truely DESPISE.
Whatever you do, do not get me started on why and how much I hate The Breakfast Club.
I know it sounds silly. I know you think I’m joking. I say only this: I’m a peaceful man, but if I ever see John Hughes walking down the street, I will walk up and punch him on the nose. 
While I didn’t despise it, I have to say that I understand the people who are including Goodfellas. Maybe it’s a great film if you are into film making and appreciate the technical skill that went into it, but I don’t really know much about that stuff, and I didn’t like the movie much. It boiled down to the fact that there’s not one character who was the least bit sympathetic or likeable. So for me it was just two plus hours of irritating assholes doing astoundingly stupid and reprehensible things.
Same reasoning applies to Blair Witch. The “heroes” were such unremitting idiot jerks that, as my husband said, we wound up rooting for the witch.
I definitely despise The English Patient, though. It had been so hyped, and it turned out to be so terrible. Maybe it worked for some people, but the thing that sticks out in my mind is the utter and complete lack of any vestige of sexual chemistry between the main characters. Why did they have an affair? It’s In The Script.
After reading four pages and not seeing it listed, I can only assume you’ve all extinguished it from your minds. Or perhaps everyone on the planet was aware of its suckitude and didn’t tell me ahead of time. Thanks.
Assuming the former, I will use a spoiler tag.
[spoiler]Rollerball. First they get the only guy who emulates Keanu Reeves - Chris Klein. Then they make him the lead. My ears longed to be soothed my the acting excellence of “Whoa.” Attempting to understand the “game” was maddening - bad guy uses a rocket launcher to shoot at the good guys and blow them off their bikes, then he takes out a sniper rifle and shoots one of the good guys dead. Extra rockets laying around, might as well not waste them? Then they have to sneak across the border at night. The cinematographer chose to film the entire HOUR LONG sequence as if you were looking through night vision goggles. Suffice it to say that the only time I would ever spend that long watching night vision goggle footage would be if Paris Hilton were involved.
In the end, back in the championship game, after spending the entire movie outrunning henchmen, blowing things up, etc, Klein simply jumps through a plate glass window and kills the main bad guy (Jean Reno, a complete waste) and his bodyguards. As a final insult to me personally, they used the old slow-motion technique to hide the fact that both bodyguards could have easily shot him dead. Instead, they use fancy editing to make it seem like Klein gets the drop on them one at a time, even though they show each bodyguard pull out their guns and point them at him.
Oh, and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos in on hand for no reason other than to look good in her leather outfit. I should like that, right? No, b/c they do that little trick where everyone naked in the shower turns away from the camera strategically so you can’t see anything.
Let’s see…am I forgetting anything? Oh yeah - LL Cool J was on hand to destroy his acting and singing careers simultaneously.[/spoiler]
Trust Alan Smithee to like Magnolia! 
A movie everyone I know loves but I cannot stand is the detestable, formulaic, pandering, inept *Billy Elliot (though I will admit that Jaime Bell is terrific despite the film being a turd).
Actually, I think he should have stopped Before TommyKnockers. The movie that is. Those were the least convincing aliens I’ve ever seen. It’s not quite in the hate it level, but it’s close.