I’m thinking about moving out of state alone trying to find myself since a I moved to Texas hasn’t being what I expected my mother thinks I’m being immature about doing this and makes me feel like I’m being selfish. I think all I’m trying to do is to be myself and do this on my own since I have always being around my family I just want to be me for once do y’all think I’m being so immature and selfish for thinking about doing this??
Since the OP is really looking for opinions, let’s move this one from General Questions to IMHO.
samclem, moderator.
Your OP would be a lot easier to read if you put periods at the ends of your sentences. I can’t tell if you moved out of Texas, into Texas, or are in Texas and want to leave.
Sorry I’m new at this I guess I just type without looking, but I’m in Texas wanting to move to another state
Do it. You can trust me.
I’ve been to Texas and I’ve been to other states. IMO, other states are better.
We have no idea how old you are, but I’m sure you’re old enough to tell your mother you love her but you’ve got to move on. Get a cell phone and promise to call her at least once a week.
I’m 24, I just don’t want to feel selfish about doing this
What do you think would be the state where you would most easily find yourself? (i.e., what do you think you are looking for?)
I’m thinking about moving to FL I think that’s where I might find myself, I’m more like a beach person
Hawaii!
It’s not selfish. My God, you’re 24. That used to be considered totally grown up.
But the thing about moving is this: when you get to wherever, you’re still you. When I was married the first time (at age 22), my then-husband and I moved out of state (away from Texas, as it happens) thinking that because the setting was different, WE would somehow be different. But we were still, well… ourselves. We couldn’t escape that. It didn’t work out for us and we came back. We’ve both been here ever since (but not married to each other anymore).
OTOH, I had a girlfriend who lived where I live now in Texas and she was unhappy, couldn’t get a date, hated her job, and she moved elsewhere in Texas, to a smaller city. Instantly she had a great social life, loved her job, etc. In my life experience (which is three times longer than yours) the setting and geography CAN be the catalyst for a good change, but they’re not necessarily the key to a good change.
I’m not saying you might not do better and feel better in a different setting, but the setting itself won’t change who YOU are.
But it certainly isn’t selfish and if you feel a bit of wanderlust, by all means, give in to it. Now’s the time.
Thanks!
Are you gainfully employed? Do you have savings? If you move, can you support yourself without assistance from your parents? If the answer is yes to all these questions, and you can get a job within a month or two, go for it.
But if you’re trying to “find yourself” on someone else’s dime, you’re sure to still be lost.
Be a grownup. It’s hard, but it’s worth it.
StG
I have three - no, four - thoughts:
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24 is a little old for this.
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It is never a bad idea to move away from someone who calls you selfish for wanting to live your life.
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This is why some people enter the military.
If you’re single, childless, and reliably employable, I say leave right after Easter. You really do need to spend a few years away anyone who’s known you as a child to finish growing up.
Stay. Texas has so much more to offer.
Can’t you find yourself, say on the Gulf coast of Texas? Maybe not too far* from Mom. She is most likely worried about you. Moms tend to do that. Ease your way out. My 2 older children could not get far enough away from me, fast enough. My middle daughter moved to University several states over. She has only come back for visits. My son went into the Marines, served and lived away for several years. He has since moved back here about 10miles from us. My baby is in University now, not far from home. Everyone is different. You’re young fly away little bird. Mom will deal.
*I know Texas is big
I say move. You can always go home again if you want to. Getting away from family can help develop a sense of independence.
As far as moving out of state, you may just want to bring what you can fit in your car since you are just starting out. You can find that you really don’t need a lot of stuff when you start over. Your clothes, your medications (if you take any), your phone and a laptop is most of what you need.
You’ll obviously need a mattress and a chair when you move, but you can pick those up at your new place (or find a furnished room). Hygiene products, a TV, cooking supplies, etc can also be picked up in the new town. But if you’re short on cash, try to fit those in your car.
As far as beaches, have you looked into Alabama, Louisiana, South Carolina or Mississippi? they have beaches too, and I assume the cost of living is lower.
Can you explain a little why you feel guilty over this? Just because your Mom said the word? Is your Mom in need of your daily assistance in some way? Are you fully funding this move? Or is Mom partially paying for it?
I’m gonna say at 24, if you don’t soon step up and claim your independence, as your entitlement as a grown adult, the drive to do so will soon evaporate. It’s not going to get easier. Do it. Do it now.
You can choose NOT to feel guilty, and feel excited anticipation, instead. Why not try that?
This is Shinola
This is shit.
Hope this helps you, Azu20
24 is time to either be on your own or to have a plan for making that happen. Selfish is telling your 24 year old not to be independent, or to make plans for that to happen. And personally, I like neither Texas nor Florida, but 15% of Americans prefer it to other parts of the country so who am I to judge. Just don’t come to Colorado, this place sucks. Nothing to see here, nope.
I’m wondering it is an adequate rule of thumb to assume that anytime someone proposes taking action in order to “find themselves”, that is a pretty good indicator that the plan is poorly thought out? :rolleyes:
Echoing Dinsdale a bit - your chance of success depends largely on whether you are running from something or to something. What makes you think you can “find yourself” in another location? If you don’t have the gumption (Texas word!) to find yourself where you are, it ain’t likely to happen somewhere else - barring extraordinary circumstances where you are.
My advice is to man (or woman) up, face momma as an adult and “find yourself” where you are. if you can do that, you can succeed anywhere. If you can’t, then you’re just running away.