MPSIMS=Constipation

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

If I read the Straight Dope for more than an hour, I’m constipated the next two days… why is that?

Anyone else experience this?

I’m thinking no one really wants to admit it.

2

concrete come here…“Slap”

3

Of course, a common affliction suffered by the novice MPSIMS thread reader. Here’s what you do:

  1. Open thread
  2. Tighten sphincter muscle group 1
  3. Read OP
  4. tighten SMG 2
  5. Read only 4 more posts (if applicable)
  6. Scoot forward in your chair, perform left cheek sneak, preferably while the boss is passing your cubicle
  7. tighten SMG 3
  8. Before opening a new thread, drink 4 oz tepid tap water
  9. Repeat with each thread
  10. Tighten SMG 4 and release

Good luck. Let me know if you have questions.

4

Geezus. I’d been skipping step 6. Now my life will be in order.

5

That’s really surprising, Concrete. Judging from the volume of diarrhea that you’ve dumped on this board, I’d have figured you were dehydrated.

Now, I’ve asked before and I’ll ask again. Didn’t you say you were going to completely quit posting here just a few short weeks back? And just a day or two ago I’m certain I was you say you were going to quit during the week. What’s the fucking story you miserable scrote?

6

Glad to give you that refresher Adam Yax. :smiley:

7

You gotta miss this guy.

8

No we don’t.