There was a crude rhyme we knew as kids, it started as:
Old MacDonald sitting on a bench,
beating his meat with a monkey wrench…
I didn’t know for years that “beating his meat” was slang for masturbation. I just pictured a farmer on a bench tenderizing some sirloin. Even though the next line goes:
missed his meat and he hit his balls…
I just assumed he was terribly inaccurate.
Until I was in my 30s, I thought infrared was pronounced in-frared. You know, like there is frared vision, and infrared vision. It took a student reading it out loud in class for the bell in my empty little head to go off. I had heard it plenty of times, just never put together the word on paper and the pronunciation.
Oh. And I thought (until last summer, when I lost a bet) that the REM song that goes One more shadow leans agains the wa-all…was originally done by a group called Billy Pilgrim. When they opened for Melissa Ethridge, they did that song, and forever after, EVERY time I heard it on the radio, I’d think of them fondly and say, “I wonder what ever became of them? They were cool!”
Finally my husband clued me in. sigh I hate it when he’s right.
Don’t feel bad, Ino. I still don’t know which Jerry is which. But I don’t like either of them, so that helps.
This just reminded me that when my sister was a first year university student, she wrote an essay for a geography class. Instead of writing ‘dam’, she had ‘damn’ throughout her essay - “the damn water…” “over the damn wall…” etc I believe the lecturer got a kick out of it and wrote some funny comment on the essay.
Oh, and the blow job thing - yeh, I thought you just blew on it? Why would you think otherwise?
I work in a lab, where ever test we do is assigned a mnemonic. Nearly everyone pronounces the word “pneumonic,” which I could forgive, since they sound very similar. Then, last week, I saw it spelled that way on a sheet of paper. Remember, these are professional medical laboratory technicians, who should understand the meaning of the word “pneumonic.”
What, you thought I was going to rat out myself? Not likely.
Ok, maybe one from my youth: I remember listening to my parents talk once, and heard the phrase “every other week.” I asked, “Every other week than what?” I still think it’s a stupid way of putting it.
Even though I know how to say it, I still sometimes say sachet incorrectly.
Nortia - so do I! Sat-chet.
I used to think that “intents and purposes” was “Intensive puposes”.
My idiot sister used to think that if you used Western Union to wire money, that there must be a plane waiting to take that money to whomever you wired it to.
I also used to think that you wrote “incursive”. It wasn’t until after I was married that my wife laughing corrected me.
When my wife was a kid, she thought that TV shows “proctued by”, instead of “Brought to you by”. She always wondered what it meant to proctue a tv show.
When one of my daughters was little she would play cops and robbers and come running up to us and say “You’re Under Duress”, instead of “You’re under arrest”. I always thought to myself, ‘you got that right!’.
One more, when my son was little, he thought the things you wore on your feet were called shoozons. Because we would always “David, get your shoes on”.
E3
I didn’t realize the Village People were gay until a few years ago. And I’d been to the “village!”
I just found out a few days ago that those black stripes on the bottom of pools are guides for swimmers so they don’t run into the ropes. Duh.
I used to think “oral sex” was akin to phone sex…you know, just talking about it.
I also thought "forensic " was a synonym for “murder.”
What was the actual song?
Tee hee, you know how you think about a subject awhile, and more things pop up?
I - to this day - do not get how you can have a house built in col-ON-i-al times, and yet the man who built it was Ker-nel Mustard. (When very small, I though KFC came much the way corn-on-the-cob did, because of the Kernel. And then I wanted to know how a man who specialized in deep fried chicken got ANY kind of military appellation. Did the Chickens promote him?)
But this one only happened to me last night. Do I feel dumb? I’ll get back to you. Blind date. I know that this guy enjoys 4x4’ing and rock climbing. He’s got the lifted jeep to go with the package. I am trying to get out of this jeep in a TIGHT skirt. And - because I am having difficulty getting out, I joke that I need a Rap-pelling harness to get down. Honest to God, he looked at me like I’d just grown a second head.
I don’t know either, but I’ve been singing it all day to the tune of “My Baby Takes The Morning Train” by Sheena Easton.
*Originally posted by FisherQueen *
Originally posted by Walloon
J. Geils’ Centerfold