There are many who have read of my woes of confusing Jerry Lewis and Jerry Lee Lewis. Thanks to the patience and kindness of my friends, I now understand the difference. Mostly.
However, with beating heart and held breath, I am now able to confess the following.
I … I thought that cervical dilation was measured in inches and not centimeters.
Well, yeah, it makes sense NOW! But c’mon! Everything in the US is measured in inches or feet! And CLEARLY during delivery they’re not talking about ten FEET of dilation. I’m not stupid.
And a baby’s head is pretty big, too … ten inches would do it, wouldn’t you think? And yeah, if you think about it, you’d realize that the obstetrician would have a catcher’s mitt and a net, 'cos the baby would just fall right out. But it made more sense than ten centimeters! That’s small! The baby would have to squeeze its way out! Have you ever seen a baby’s head? It’s like a canteloupe!
Okay, all of you women can stop laughing at me now.
No, no, I’m serious. Quit it. You men, too. I know some of you have had to have made this same mistake.
But yeah. Centimeters, not inches. This is something I learned within the past year.
Someone, anyone, please share your tales of ignorance so I feel less ignorant. Someone’s got to be able to top this.
I could never bring it up before because I read your “my rage burns with the fire of a millions suns” thread many moons after it was posted, but I always thought Jerry Lewis and Jerry Lee Lewis were the same person too.
I remember reading that thread and thinking “What, they’re not?!?!?!!”
FWIW, The whole Jerry(s) thread had me in stitches, along with the White Castle woes. Just so ya know, I’m laughing with you not at you. Thanks for some great reading.
Seen it? I’ve felt it! It may look like a canteloupe, but it feels more like a watermelon.
Ok, well, since we’re confessing here. Last year my boyfriend, and I were discussing marsupials. For some reason, I had the notion that ferrets were a member of the marsupial family…really, I did. Now, please remember that up until this time, I had never actually held, or investigated a ferret, let alone their tummy, because, I live in CA, where they are illegal. Here’s the best part. We were talking on the phone, and he misunderstood me, and thought that I had said “bear”, instead of “ferret”, so he’s laughing his butt off at me, for thinking that bears were marsupials…I may have been a bit ignorant, but I’m not that ignorant. Ok, of course, once we realized the problem we also realized, rather quickly, that he was a bit more correct, than I, as Koala “bears” are, indeed marsupials.
Well, I didn’t know it very well. That chain doesn’t have any locations where I grew up. The only time I ever saw it was on visits to the South (I know they have other locations, too, but that was where I personally saw it).
This has horrified me for a long time, and I have vaguely expressed this horror to various people over the years, but only recently did I mention my specific horror to Mr. Del (while we were en route to a Cracker Barrel restaurant with the in-laws).
That restaurant has some nerve! Just because this is the South, it doesn’t mean that only crackers will want to go! Plus, it’s not very nice to call people crackers, anyway.
Yeah, well. How was I supposed to know what a cracker barrel was?
When I was little, I used to think the word ‘debris’ was pronounced ‘derbis’, like “DER-biss”. I also used to sigh and tell people I was melancholy, which they thought was hilarious, since I was pronouncing it “muh-LANK-o-lee”. Of course, then there was my trouble with lingerie, which to me always “linger-ee”. This is the pain that comes of being able to read better than you can speak.
Until the age of 26, I didn’t know that when a woman is lactating, the milk comes out of many holes, not the hole in the center of her nipple. The holes the milk comes out of are all around the aerola. I also didn’t know that milk squirted out in a large range circle.
Thanks for some great reading.
Feel better now?
